I have 3 kids.10,8,6. This is about my 8 year old daughter. Me and her dad wasnt together and my mom died 2 weeks after she was born. I thought the best thing for her was to give her to her father. I ended up not seeing her for 6 years never connected to her, it actually felt as though I gave her up for adoption. I was okay with the situation. I moved on raising my son and even had another girl who I loved and cherished. Okay so 6 years later I get a phone call that My 8 year old's Father is now on Meth. I go and get my daughter per her stepmom and knowing that I had to. I take him to court and the Judge ruled for me. I now have full custody.He abandoned her with her step mom for 2 months and she said she has her own kids to care for. Its been Two years she's 8 now. I want to say I love her but I know that I love my other kids more. I just wish she could go home.Will this feelin ever change? Will I ever come to love her? I know she's been through alot. Please don't judge me.......
2007-04-29 14:45:54 · 9 answers · asked by borednomaha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am not a mom yet, but I wanted to answer this question to let you know that someone out in this strange Internet world believes in you. I have learned that a mother's love is unconditional from all the hell I put my mother through. She did not always like me because of my behavior (I was a meth head myself).
My point is that sometimes it seems like we love one family member more than another because of their behavior and their choices. I think we can love someone so much but not like them at all. That's when tough love is so important. It all happened for a reason and much of it is in the past and can't be changed.
Tell her you love her, tell them all you love them. We can't overdose on love.
2007-04-29 16:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Vicki C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you did the best thing for your daughter by giving her up to her father than that was a brave move. By knowing that you where only 17 and her dad was 27 then i see why you did it. Also with your mother passing away at such a young age then i understand. Your daughter loves you so much ,,you guys will make it. You don't give yourself enough credit and these people don't know you on here. You are a wonderful mother. You stepped in when your daughter needed you the most . Her Father left and you was thier. God brought you guys back togethor. Don't ever give up. She is home now and forever. Everyone gets sad but you will make it . I know this for a fact. Ive seen you with her. She is so happy. Turn to us friends next time not Yahoo. Luv ya
2007-04-29 16:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by sisgomez1979 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother, I can't imagine ever giving up my children! But, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you did what you felt was best for your daughter at the time.
Now for the present, I honestly don't care about your feelings at this time. The main thing is the child's feelings. Now matter what anyone says, she DOES know that you prefer your other children. On top of having to deal with that, she probably feels she has been abandoned by the only parents she knew for most of her life.
I have one comment about your statement "I just wish she could go home.":
Your home IS her home.
I'm not a professional. For the sake of your daughter- seek out one. You both need to see a therapist. Talk to your daughters pediatrician, they should be able to refer you to one or at least give you the information needed to find one.
I wish you luck with a tough situation. Just remember that you are an adult, she is just a child. YOU need to be the one to fix this problem, don't expect her to know how to change the situation, she is not to blame.
2007-04-29 16:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard not to judge you when you have kids. I really feel for this child she has no one. I mean NOONE, I realize you haven't been around her but maybe you could just spend sometime with her alone and really get to know her. Please for her sake try to be the mom God intended on you being she really need that more than ever. And by the way she is home if you didn't want her you should have never went to court. Im not tryin to be mean but the truth will stand when the world is on fire.Just give it time and may be talk to some one. I do wish you the best I know this can't be easy for any of you. God Bless.
2007-04-29 15:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't care how much you say you love your other kids, I can't believe you call yourself a mother. You just gave away your daughter and now you say you wish she would just go home. She is home, you had her now take care of her and be the mother she deserves. You are a pathetic excuse for a mother, you are supposed to help her get through this. She is probably acting out because her mom and her dad abandoned her. She can feel it that you love your other kids more than you love her and you don't deserve to be a mother at all. This child is going to grow up with serious issues and self esteem problems and it is all your fault, I hope you're proud of yourself.........good job! You are a pathetic excuse for a mother.
2007-04-29 14:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Sonya D 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Listen! A child is a miracle, and that is the way you have to look at it. If you look at a child as a burden then you have failed alltogether. Even if you had 10 kids, they are your flesh and blood, and you love each of them the same. You have to let go of any selfishness you have. Tell her you love her and be there for her. If you have to show any kind favorness then it should be her. For this child was lost, but know she has found her way home. Please I beg you, don't treat this as just another answer, write back if you have any concerns please.
2007-04-29 15:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by garlin104300 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore the post before me. what a cranky woman. look...for all purposes you did give your child up. you felt it was in the best interest of your daughter at the time. you went for years taking care and bonding of your other children. now...out of nowhere you have to take care of her. you made the motherly choice to do so. but it is stressful. there is no magical door that opened up for you. do go see a therapist for this issue. you are both going to need it. just take it one day at a time.
2007-04-29 15:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you'll make it, and you know what to do, there's love in you enough for all the children,spend extra time with her, get to know her and tell her about your life and why, she was with dad, and apologize for the messed up life shes had,but let her know that's all over, your grown up, and you want to be the best mom you can to all kids, and you can do it.id say find a good good church, get the kids involved, you get involved, there's a lot of people who would love to listen and help.if you feel your running out of love, look to god for help, my dear.she's your daughter, you will learn to love her and want a good life for her just as you want for the others, i believe in you, god bless you and good luck
2007-04-29 15:04:44 · answer #8 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get therapy for you and her
2007-04-29 14:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋