Bothered that ex has a new girlfriend. It was a bad relationship and I left .?

Question

When I left I said that we could work things out if he went for anger management. Over the last year he has asked me repeatedly tocomehome but I stuck to my guns and he never went for"help". I would say that he was verbally and very emotionally abusive and I KNOW I made the right choice by leaving and I KNOW I can't change him.

I found out that he was seeing someone new all the while telling methat he hoped we could work things out and how much he loved me. Okay,so now I know he is a liar and decietful somy decision is confirmed.

I am really upset that he is seeing someone new. Please don't askme why I still care. I don't know why. I keep thinking that he willbe the sweet nice guy he was tome at the beginning ofmy realtionship with him, with her and willstay that sweet with her.

I KNOW that I didn't cause the abusiveness. I know this because he would seriously flip over things that made no sense.

Is it possible that he will be non abusive with his new GF?
Do menlike him change?

Answer 1

NOPE! For the same reason you still care!!! Its amazing the way it works, almost magic! But thats love for you, but lets start with the basics, Love is nothing more then a word used to sum up the whole of all feelings we feel for an individual. I know, I know kind belittles it but wait! That means even anger, hate, disgused, fear, etc... are all signs of love! So you not being able to not love him only makes sense. He on the other hand has the same dilema, he well always feel for you, yea I know the cold sob doesn't show it, but that just means he has to deny it! Yep he has to act like, and pretend with-in himself that he doesn't feel what he feels. So understand that boys heck just got worse, much, much worse, she is going to have to deal with the new insecurities and failures that he made with you! Yea he can pretend its all your fault and maybe even fool himself into thinking this well be a great relationship, but did that stop him from calling you? Did that stop that little mac daddy from trying to win you back? Of course not, you can't just end a relationship with words, were all pretty confused on this point. Thats why it is so important to be carful who you love, because you can give your heart, but you can't take it back. And inorder to be able to move pasted a "failed" relationship one most grow stronger then they were before the relationship or fall back to the same place or even worse. So understand that your feelings are correct and what confuses you the most is this guys inablility to be completely honest with you in the frist place which did nothing but stunt your relationships growth. Which (I'm glad you were smart to leave) is the single biggest destorier of relationships. But hend, he'll spend the rest of his life trying to grow from what happen to you and him, and its going to be a cold day in heck before he becomes strong enough within himself to realize wow I really f'd up I need to atleast call her and make amends. Because he still isn't all that geniune with his own feelings with himself. So its all pretty twisted in this world because we don't give relaitoships the respect they need and instead try to treat them as expendiable and unnessary. Unfronatunely I know, your heart is telling you something different, and so is that thing between your ears. It isn't easy to grow from a relationship after the other has failed us, but start by forgiving yourself (your smarter/wiser now) and him (he isn't going to change only grow worse, unless he finds a way to make amends with you, we can't ignore are scars). Good Luck! And watch want tv/mtv/society tries to teach you about love and romance. I mean do you really think they got there stuff together to? Live and learn!