Why am I so pathetic....?

Question

I honestly feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't due drugs, and I don't party which is probably obvious from everything else I said I don't do. Pretty much everyone I know does one or more of the above (pot is as far as they go as far as any type of drugs) and I just don't feel comfortable around them. It's not because of what they do I just feel like an absolute prude.
Just to let everyone know I really don't know what type of answer I am looking for. I'm just really depressed right now and I am expecting either the uplifting response of "No, you are not pathetic but responsible" or the rather negative response of "Get over yourself". Today is a freebie, so reassure or ridicule away.

Actually I'm an adult with 3 kids who just came from my kids scout meeting. The Webelos went for a nature walk ending at one of the parents houses and towards the end the adults broke out the beer (they weren't getting trashed or anything just each having one). I felt uncomfortable and decided to leave. My kids aren't aware of beer or any type of alcohol because I kept them sheltered (which probably wasn't a good thing) which really made me feel kind of uncomfortable.

Answer 1

Find friends that dont need to numb themselves.

Answer 2

Don't be so hard on yourself, I know it's tough. Thank God, you don't have any of those vises. Have you considered going sailing. There is another whole way of life out here. You didn't state where your from or what you do for a living. Try the Florida Keys, of course there's alot of drinking going on there. But alot of people don't drink or smoke or do drugs and they seem to manage just fine. Consider what makes you happy. I can only guess that you're not married. I'm back to the sailing idea again and a whole new way of life. Swaying palm trees and beautiful blue waters. If you're looking to meet a nice guy with the same qualities that you have, you should check out the golf course. I find most men who play golf to be true gentlemen. Life can be good, I just think that you're feeling trapped right now. Take a walk down the beach and let the sand get between your toes. Strive to be different. Good Luck

Answer 3

You sound like you are wise beyond your years. The people smoking, drinking, and doing drugs are idiots. Just be pleasant, smile, and say hi. Hopefully, you'll find a group of friends you feel comfortable with. If not, no big deal. Get good grades, because life really begins after high school. And, if you like this website, you've found your passion!! You like to help people and give good advice. The world is your oyster! You could be a teacher, a school counselor, a psychologist, or even a psychiatrist or a medical doctor. So many people at your age are lost. I repeat, you have found your passion, so you can have a job that you will love! That's so lucky and very cool. Keep up the good work. If you feel like you have chronic depression, you should see your doctor. He will recognize it, and give you the proper medication. In a couple weeks, your life could be happy and bright!! Do it, ok?OK?

Answer 4

What you would call "pathetic", I would call "responsible", "principled", "uplifting", etc.

I'm not sure how old you are, but from the party comment, I am assuming you are fairly young. When I was in high school I was the same way as you. I was a three sport athlete and was into the "body is my temple" mindset. I played my sports, hung out with my friends, went to movies, and dated whenever I could. As satisfying as my life is to me now with my wife and children, my high school days are among my fondest memories.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, other than the conclusion you have made that there may be something wrong with you. I understand what it is like not to feel like you have any outlets. I feel that way sometimes, too. But the problem is with not with you; it is with the fact that you have not been able to set up some sort of social network.

Find the things you like to do, and find like-minded people (For example, I am 40 now and still play soccer.) There are 6 billion people in the world, so they are out there. The challenge for you is to find them.

Answer 5

"No, you are not pathetic but responsible" with a little "get over it"

Sometimes we all get into these ruts where we feel like extroverts. Believe me, I've been there. Value who you are rather than what youre not. Who cares if everyone else is partying, do what makes you happy. On the other hand at this point of depression you may not know what makes you happy anymore. I know it may be easier to just stay home and hide in bed in your free time, but maybe try to socialize a little - even if it feels forced (cause it is) - you may one day have fun. Even if you don't do all those other things your friends do who cares you can still be friends and hang out. Also, be proud that your not another drone that follows what everyone else does - by standing up and saying that you don't do those things because you don't like them makes you unique.

Answer 6

That is not really being pathetic, it's exactly like you said, responsible. I mean living too conservatively isn't always fun but it still is ideal. Some people like to live life on the edge and live every day like it's their last. Everyone has a different mentality. Power to you that you don't smoke, drink, and do drugs that can affect you dearly. If you don't feel comfortable around the people who do these things, maybe you need to find more people who share your stance in the subject. Don't feel depressed though, always stick by what you choose to do in life and wear it proudly.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with you - and it doesn't matter enough to even label you a prude. There are many, many paths and lifestyles in this world - and there are many, many people participating in them all.

If I had to guess I would say you are young - either still in school or not long out of it. School creates a very skewed view of the world, and it hard for those that don't fit in that mold to feel comfortable or even good about themselves. I am here to tell you that that is not a realistic community. Life is much larger and much more varied than school allows us to know - and we are surrounded by a group of people all trying to fit into someone's idea of adult or normal.

Relax. Remember what is important to you and do what you can to manifest that into your life. That can be as simple as visualizing success (seeing yourself in your mind surrounded by like-minded individuals and reminding yourself that if you are 1 in a million, there are at least 600 people just like you in China alone) or as active as finding a group or club of like minded individuals. Don't compromise just because you don't succeed at first - stick to your guns and you will be successful in your own way.

Peace!

Answer 8

You probably feel that you do not fit in with your associates because you do not have anything in common with them.
Make a list of all that you really enjoy doing in life, or think you would enjoy doing.
Then figure out where you could meet people who like doing such things.

If that does not work, try going to a different church each Sunday, or a sabbath service on Friday evening. The music is usually good, the people are usually friendly, and it is free.

Answer 9

you not a prude because you value yourself and exercise self restraint over your core values..
as such generally speaking you are probably have a higher IQ than your contemporaries ( if you can even call them that ),
are probably or will be more successful in life, better at money management, are emotionally far more stable than others around you, and will eventually move to a better part of town / city where you will find plenty who share your likewise interest
the eleet are always different and better than 97% of the populace at hand if not for those restraints and not given into self derogation as others have, other have no hopes and thus sink into alcohol and drugs as a way to buffer the pain of their losing ways in life, no good foreseeable future
they are in a short phrase... losers..
you need not be in envy of such personal
carry on the right fight

Answer 10

Don't feel this way. I dont drink (I'm 24), I dont smoke, dont do drugs, and stay away from caffine. It's a lifestyle choice that I'm proud of & wouldn't change it for the world. Sure I got **** aobut it when I was younger, but it's becasue my peers wanted me to do it cuz they either felt guilty or didnt want to feel "alone" themselves. I felt the same way as you when I was younger, but I'm proud to of made the choices I did. My skin, live, kidneys, & cells will reap the bennifits as I get older, you'r friends won't.
Trust me, when you have the skin of a 20 year old at 40 you'll thank yourself.

Answer 11

Well I'm a party monster, but ive been seeing a chick whos just like you, she's even a vegetarian she DOES NOTHING haha. But since wen did drinking, smoking or drugs determine where you fit in socially? A lot of people feel like they don't belong, even the most popular people. It's a common feeling.