My daughter lives with her Dad in another state. She turns 15 on Saturday. I sent her some gifts for her birthday. She has not opened them yet, but she did send me a Thank you e-mail.
My parents are not in touch with my daughter though now. She spent the summer with me and they got close to her then.
However, now she does not talk to them much. I had bought her a cell phone, but her Dad did not want her to have it so I canceled it.
Should my parents do anything for my child for her birthday? My mom has a sarcastic attitude toward it and that sometimes bothers me. She mentioned to my aunt on the phone just now that she hadn't even thought about how my child's birthday was going to be celebrated.
Also, should I tell my parents what I sent my child? I don't feel its any of their business, but they feel hurt if I don't share things with them.
2007-04-29 13:22:15 · 7 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your parents wish to do something, I think sending a card and maybe some information about that side of the family would be valuable, but the kid might not appreciate it at her age. Maybe giving her a savings bond or some kind of thing that will pay off in the future instead of something that she'll outgrow in a few months.
But that's only if they wish and are doing it from a heartfelt place.
Or maybe something the grandparents make or do to make it personal. Otherwise, she probably gets enough material stuff that they can skip it.
If you feel it's not their business, then don't tell them.
2007-04-29 13:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by Sabrina 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is your relationship with your daughter. You cannot make them(your parents) have a relationship that they aren't willing to nuture. Say you suggest they send her a gift and they do. Will they be willing to do it on the next holiday, or will you have to suggest they do it again. Not knowing your family makes it hard for an outsider to answer that type of question.
If your mother is sarcastic about it, is it becasue she doesn't care or is it becasue she is afraid to get hurt by some sort of rejection from your daughter. If the answer is she is afraid to get hurt then she really should try to put that aside becasue children (even at 15) are just children. They develop lives outside their family.
They will have to decide if they want to look back on life and say they never tried, or at least they tried.
Also knowing that your parents feel hurt if you don't share things with them tells me that they care, they just aren't sure how to handle or deal with the situation, or aren't happy with it, which is something they will have to move past. Your daughter lives with her father right now, they need to accept that and figure out how to handle it. But if they can't you can't force them.
2007-04-29 20:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to your parents that your daughter is a teenager and teenagers don't think like adults. Your daughter is very much into her friends right now and parents/grandparents aren't cool right now. When she gets a little older she will remember that her grandparents cared enough to send her something for her b-day. Tell your parents that they are the adults and she is still a child. Maybe they should try to call her once in a while (if she is home and not hanging out with friends). I would say just send a card with a gift card for a department store, Teenagers love to shop for clothes. Best of luck to you.
2007-04-29 20:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by pegaliepooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like there is not enough closeness in your family ,your parents are not obligated to do nothing for your child except love them because there a part of you and they love you and do things for you it should be the same for your daughter,Its not necessary to tell them anything you send your daughter why should it hurt them if you dont when there not willing to do anything for her and they think of her birthday at the last minute,sharing is a part of closeness only it includes everyone,continue to bring unity in your family and spend more time together and it sounds like her father does not want her to communicate without him nowing about it good luck with this Lisa
2007-04-29 20:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by God Child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you catering to your Mom and Dad? How old are you? You don't need to tell them your every move. Do you call them every morning to tell them about your morning crap? I didn't think so. You can do for your child whatever you want. It's their choice if they want to have contact with her. And don't make excuses to her for them. What is wrong with people in this day and age? Why can't they grow up?
2007-04-29 20:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your parents should do as they see fit concerning your daughters birthday as for you disclousing ti them what you sent your daughter unless you want to share this with them then I do not see any reason you should have to
2007-04-29 20:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by jahvar's mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They obviously don't want much to do with her so don't feel the need to share personal information with them.
2007-04-29 20:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋