She wants me to be a mindless zombie and do everything her way. I don't explain to her all my reasons for doing things because I just don't feel like it--not because they're bad reasons. We definitely are not as close as we used to be, and I doubt she has any feelings of motherly love fore me. It isn't that she neglects me or anything, she's good that way, but she's so annoying! And it honestly hurts that I can't talk to her without having a normal conversation. The smallest thing she turns into an arguement and basically, I would rather be a starving child in Africa. Then I would just die and have nothing to worry about.....
2007-04-29 12:05:08 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Shut up and listen to your mother!
2007-04-29 12:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Max 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why this is but
Boys have the most trouble with their father and girls with their mother
You do not have to be your mother and she does not get to live through you
That said you are turing into an adult and for the first time your expressing opinions (more and more) that you are trying to defend
Your mother won't be used to that - dealing with you not as a child but as an up and coming adult with different politics idea's and so on
You are starting to see your mother diffrently as well
She is not the perfect person you thought she was when you were 5 yrs old -
She is just a person - and expectations of her being more than that are unresonable on your part.
She will make mistakes be in a bad mood have exceptionally well thought out solutions that may not make sense to you right now - etc etc etc
The important thing to remember is that this person is on your side in a way that no other human being on the face of the planet will ever be
So lighten up as much as possible and make an effort to explain things slowly to her and tell her how you feel and why you want to do it another way
It doesn't hurt to ask the following question
Mom , how did you feel when your mother treated you like this "
Even if your grandmother didn't treat her like that you have opened up quite the conversation and made her think of you as the little girl she was trying to make a point and feeling just as frustrated as you do now
2007-04-29 12:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you would NOT rather be a starving child in africa. do you know how lucky you are to not be in that type of a situation? i honestly mean no offense, but the way you are talking proves that you're still very immature. maybe you won't realized your mom's good intentions until you have matured, but in the meantime i think you need to give her the benefit of the doubt and actually listen to what she has to tell you. it is obvious she still has motherly love for you, cuz if she didn't, she wouldn't give a rat's a s s about trying to advise you. why don't you show some gratitude for what you have? you have a mom, a place to stay, you have clothes, you probably live in a decent house, you have food to eat everyday, you go to school, yet you complain and say you'd rather be a starving child in africa. grow up, dear.
2007-04-29 12:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are at that age where you want to be more free to do what you want to do. And your mother is where she does not want to be, and that is loosing her children do to the fact that they are growing up.
But saying things like your mother sucks is not going to get you any points. And being a starving child is definitely not what you want because it is a slow painful death.
Maybe you and your mother could get some agency to mediate between you two to work out something agreeable to you both by each one giving in a little.
One rule I always had was to let me know where they were going and if plans change let me know. The reason for that if for some reason they were not home within an hour of the time they said I have a chance to know what direction to look for them in case they had an accident.
I hope you and your mom can work some thing out.
2007-04-29 12:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing yourself a disservice....
You said, "She wants me to be a mindless zombie and do everything her way. I don't explain to her all my reasons for doing things because I just don't feel like it"
How is your mother going to know, you are capable of thinking on your own, and you have a GOOD reason for things you do, IF you don't share it with her? How would your mother ever know you aren't doing thigs because of very stupid reasons?
By all means, EXPLAIN! Show her you are capable of thinking on your own.
Everything turning into argument, it is just part of growing up. You have your own ideas that doesn't necessary match that of your mothers.
Tell you the truth, some of your good ideas are probably not as good as you think, because of lack of your experience. But it really doesn't matter. You have to start somewhere.
As to starving child in Africa... you really don't want to say this. Do some research. It's far worse than you think.
2007-04-29 12:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Striped Cookie at 14 all parents suck!( I like your name)
Its not because she doesn't love you, she does more than ever! Your the one who is growing up before her eyes and it can be overwhelming to any parent.
The best thing my mother use to tell me( and I lost her last November-- 2 days before her birthday and one day Thanksgiving) was......"Sweetie, I have been your age but you've never been mine!" So I might know something after all"
At the time I hated to hear it, but it did make sense. I was in such a big hurry to be grown up and be on my own . Then one day I was on my own and I had to work and pay bills and go to college and pay bills, and study, and work and pay bills, and pay tuition, and work and pay bills, and I didn't have time to play and hang out with my friends and go to the movies, or play video games. I was GROWN UP and going to school and my class amtes and I had tee shirts made up that said-----"THERE IS LIFE AFTER NURSING SCHOOL" and wore them to graduation!!! By then I couldn't go home again because I was grown up.
You don't want to be a starving child in Africa, nor do you want to die, you want to grow up and live life to the very fullest, both of you are going through alot of changes and one day you will see that your Mom was right....take it from someone who has raised 5 kids already - the oldest is 35 and the youngest is 27.
They all said they couldn't wait to turn 18 so they could move out, well the baby left home only 2 years ago.
Give your Mom some time, and don't be in such a hurry to be grown up, cause we never are old enough to be without a Mom, I know cause I miss mine something awful.
And ya know what it wasn't until mine passed away that I stopped being someones child and today I would give anything to be someones child.
You have my ear anytime you want it.
Patti
2007-04-29 12:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by Patti P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOOK YOU SAID IT ALL WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE 14TEEN!!!! IF YOUR NOT AS CLOSE AS YOU USE TO BE MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING A TEEN ?AND BELIEVE ME YOU DON'T WANT TO GROW UP TO FAST !! YOU MAY THINK YOU DO RIGHT NOW YOUR 14 TEEN THINKING YOU ARE 20 :) RIGHT? SLOW DOWN AND THINK ABOUT HOW IT WOULD FEEL IF YOU LOST YOUR MOM INSTANTLY IN A CAR ACCIDENT OR SOME BAD THING HAPPEN TO YOUR MOM AND TODAY YOUR WITH HER AND TOMORROW SHES GONE THEN WHAT? WELL THAT'S WHAT HAPPEN TO BOTH OF MY PARENTS THY WERE KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT TOGETHER WHEN MY DAD PULLED OUT IN FRONT OF A CAR :( WELL I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR MOM GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND IF YOU WOULD JUST STOP TO THINK HOW SHE FEELS AND TRY BEING LOVING TO HER I'LL BET THINGS WILL CHANGE AND STOP PUTTING ALL THE BALM ON THE PARENTS!!! SEEMS TO ME THAT SO MANY OF THE CHILDREN TODAY DO THIS!! DON'T WAITE UNTIL YOUR MOM IS GONE FROM YOUR LIFE THEN LOOK BACK ON THE GOOD TIMES I'M SURE THERE MUST BE SOME ? AN I'M SO SORRY I SOUND LIKE A PARENT!! OH WAITE I AM :) OK THEN YOU TRY TO TALK TO YOUR MOM OKAY? THAT WOULD BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND TRY A HUG FIRST :) ALWAYS WORKED FOR OUR CHILDREN AND THY ARE ALL GROWN UP WITH THERE OWN CHILDREN AND WE ARE RAISING TWO OF THEM :) GOOD LUCK SORRY I'M PREACHING TO YOU BUT I LOVE PEOPLE AND CHILDREN AND TRY TO HELP IF I CAN, P.S AND NO YOU DONT WISH YOU WERE A STARVING CHILD IN AFIRCA!!! THAT IS SAD AND I WISH THAT WE WERE RICH SO WE COULD HELP THEM CHILDREN IN AFRICA SEE NOW ALL CHILDREN ARE INNCENT, YOU HAVE A MOM SO BE THANKFUL!!
2007-04-29 12:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by Justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty sure you would not want to be a starving child in Africa, those poor kids would kill for what you have! Mom's can be annoying sometimes and as hard as this is to hear, she loves you. Whatever she does, is done out of love for you and there will come a day, you'll know that. I lost my parents 5 yrs ago, they died within 6 months of each other. I'd kill to be able to hug either one of them right now. As annoying as she is, she's there, be grateful for that.The fact she nags you about stuff shows she cares about you and wants whats best for you.She doesn't want you to be a mindless Zombie, she wants you to be a good person who knows they are loved. I know this is hard to understand right now, but she loves you so much and is trying to understand you, help her understand you by talking to her. You have no idea how lucky you are right now to have her, you won't until your older and she's gone. For all your issues with her, try to imagine her gone and you can no longer talk to her, ever again. Are you sure you wish to be a starving child in Africa with no parents to love them or care for them?
Be so very grateful for what you have, hug her now, while you can, tell her you love her while you have the chance...
I'd do anything to have that chance just once more, with either of my parents...
2007-04-29 12:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by Innisfil g 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is normal at this age to feel this way about our parents. You are growing up and are trying to spread your wings about many things in your life. She is trying to guide you the best way she knows how and doesn't want anything to happen to you. It's funny you know...as we get older, our parents get stupider and more old fashioned, and it seems they don't understand anymore. It is not them that have changed, it is you. Give it a few more years, and you will come to understand that your mom is not so annoying. Do you really want to be a starving child in Africa? I have been there and it is not a place where you would want to be. Be thankful that you have a mother who loves you and wants the best for you. She will not be around forever. Try putting yourself in her shoes. You will be a mother one day too.
2007-04-29 12:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you would not rather be a starving child in Africa. Don't be stupid. I'm younger than you and I know better.
I know how you feel. Just talk to her about it, and if it's not working, just stick it tough. I wish I could be closer to my family, but unfortunately, I've tried all my life and I just can't.
Give it a chance, and if all fails, just "deal with life" or seek counseling. I know the "deal with life" option isn't exactly what you want to hear, but sometimes that's just how things are.
2007-04-29 12:44:26 · answer #10 · answered by dsfsd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, she still loves you a whole lot. Mothers often get a raw deal when their kids go through puberty and I imagine that you have also changed a lot from two or three years ago. Your mother is probably having a hard time letting go of you as her child. Think about how you would want her to express her love to you. If she sat you on the couch and asked for a cuddle would you squirm out of her arms because you thought it was babyish or would you cuddle back to show that you love her too?
2007-04-29 12:12:51 · answer #11 · answered by sticky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋