I hold it all in.. Please help?

Question

So im 16. (almost 17) and my mom drags me around to meeting and events with her and makes me be nice to people i dont like. She freaks and needs to know where i am at ALL times even in this small town where you take 3 left turns and your back in the center of town. She wont let me date until im 18 and it seems like she doenst care that I feel so frusterated. Shes dead set on everything. its tearing me apart! I dont have a father and my brother is grown up and moved out. help me

Answer 1

I am a mom of three girls, it sounds like your mom is a good mom, and the best way to approach her is not with frustration and guilt trips its putting yourself in her shoes... she is alone with you maybe lonely and your her baby who maybe she is afraid to let go of not because she doesn't want you to have a life, but because in letting go it is admitting you are not her baby anymore you are getting older... so approach her like this... what can i do to earn your trust so i can have your permission to do _____________. I feel you have raised me well with good morals and i was hoping you would see i am able to begin using those tools you have taught me to make good choices...

My 14 year old did this to me recently, i too am having trouble letting her grow up she is my oldest but still one of my babies :) i gave her more freedom and it is working out, we have a relationship where if she proves to me she is trust worthy she gets privileges... good luck, just try to see it from her point of view, and really listen to her reasoning even if you don't agree with her...
your a good writer by the way, you made me laugh with your description of your town with the three lefts... lol

Answer 2

Communication is always very important in every relationship in life. If you do not communicate, your voice will never be heard. Tell her how you feel...pick an evening when you are both at home and have no interuptions. Tell her you understand that you are her baby and that she may be lonely, especially since your older brother is away and your father is not around. Tell her she needs to trust you and give you some room to grow. Let her know you feel she has done a great job in raising you, but you need some freedoms and ask if you can set some new guidelines. If you handle this situation maturely, how can she say no? It may be something she knows she's doing, but hasn't heard you complaining yet, therefore, she doesn't know any different. Good luck!

Answer 3

Can your mother meet some of your school friends and find out that you have some decent pals? Then ask her to take you all to a film or a theatre.

Can you drive a car? Probably not, but it sounds as though you are in England and the buses are great.

Must be hard.

Answer 4

well it doesnt hurt being nice to ppl. they mit come in useful sometimes. did u try talking to ur mom? tell her some of her rules are unreasonable and are damaging ur relationship.
maybe u can also drop a hint tat its better to let a few rules drop now than u turning 18 n turning reckless doing all thing u've suppressed all these years!

Answer 5

Talk to her and be specific in your requests. Instead of "I want more freedom" say "I want to go to the movies with my friends on the weekend." She may think she's doing you a favor by taking you to meetings. Just let her know you want/deserve to hang out with your friends too. When you have a decent guy worth introducing to her, then talk about dating.

Answer 6

Have you thought about how your mother might feel,perhaps she brings you with her because she is lonely or she is proud of you and wants to show you off to everyone.

Answer 7

You have 2 options.

1: stay as you are

2: Move away

and that's it

Answer 8

It sounds like your mom is looking out for you. You will appreciate her efforts when you are older.

Answer 9

Listen to your mother she knows best.