How to handle overly-friendly neighbors...?

Question

We've just moved into our new flat and our neighbors are very friendly... This is all good... BUT we are worried that the friendly conversation will turn into "Hey, why don't you guys come over for dinner or drinks etc..." Don't get us wrong we like to socialise, BUT, we also like our space and because we are so busy we don't often get time to meet even our own friends! How can we make sure that this situation does not get out of hand without us being rude? We 'd rather it didn't get to the stage where we have to say "No, we don't want to come over to your place". Suggestions please..

Answer 1

I generally "Politely ignore" neighbors. avoid eye contact but will always say "hello" if greeted.
if they persist and invite you over, pretend you have some previous plans, but don't open doors. dont say "I wish we could" say something like "I'm sorry, i'm having dinner with my mother tonight" or something like that. eventually, when they're turned down enough they'll quit offering.

Answer 2

You have already partly solved this problem ( if indeed there is one), because you are aware of it.
Now all you need to do is turn down any invites you get from them that you do not want to accept.
Do it nicely, but say "sorry we had a busy day and want a early night" or "sorry I have some stuff to do for work".
In the end they we get the message. Hopefully because you recognised there could be a 'situation' from the start you can now get on the right footing straight away.
They may turn out to be just nice neighbours who also require their 'space'.
Good luck, hope you have great happiness in your new home.!!!

Answer 3

None of those previous answers sound right to me. A simple "I'm sorry I have plans, maybe another time?" Is the only thing that works. I don't know why the other answerers seem to suggest you draw a line in the sand or encourage rudeness. This is, after all just an invite for socializing, not a force to be reckoned with.

Answer 4

Simply tell them, "No offense, but we have a ton of things we need to tend to and won't be able to get them done if we don't get to it."
Watch it. If they are the type to ask what, or for any detail, then you can sure bet you'll end up being talked around to where you'll end up doing what they want, and not what you want.
Look for patterns also. For instance, is it always on a Tuesday, maybe on your paydays, anything. This will give you some indication not only of their "free-time", but also might help you plan when not to be around where they can approach you.
But I stand by my first answer. But if you ever do back down, it will tell them you can be had, and how long it is that they have to keep at you.
I know. I've been there enough myself.

Answer 5

Wow, this is a tough one. Luckily, you are so busy that you should have ready excuses that sound good.

"I'm sorry, we are usually volunteering at the local hospital at that time. Thanks so much but..." should do it. As long as you have a valid-sounding reason, you should be fine.

If you aren't really going out that night -- remember, they're close enough to know -- your excuse can be as simple as saying "that is so thoughtful, but I'm afraid we'd be lousy company. We've just had the week/day/afternoon from hell and would only bring you down."

Make sure your excuses sound as though you are not worthy of them, and you will be fine.

You could also, if forced, meet them at a local bar or restaurant, say straight from work, which could count as getting together but still shouldn't lead to the dreaded "neighbor drops in at all hours" situation.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i'm sure they are only trying to be nice so they probably won't invite you for dinner they probably just want to create a good impression so LEAVE IT they will probably quit with everything but the hi you ok?'s after a few weeks and is it really such a nightmare you could say your having friends over to your house and invite them to your house and quickly arrange for your friends to be there as well, that way they will feel too distant to want to keep asking you for dinner but they will also feel like friends too. So stop complaining. See them with your friends at the same time as your friends not separately.

Answer 7

That is a tough one. But, I think this would work (after giving this some thought): I would wait until they ask, and then I would simply explain how busy you both are and how it is lucky if you get a chance to have any time to yourselves at all, so as nice as it is that they've asked, you are going to have to turn them down. But thank them and tell them that hopefully someday your schedules will lighten up a bit.

Good luck on that because I understand how hard it is to handle something like this.

Bye!

Answer 8

Next time you see them coming up the drive quickly slip on a gimp mask and crotchless pants and grab a whip then answer the door. This should cure it. However it is also possible they are swingers and actually quite fancy you both, Clearly in this case my advice may cause more problems than it solves. Good luck

Answer 9

It's a difficult situation. We all want to be polite, especially to the elderly and even moreso to someone who has emotional/mental problems. You seem very tense about her intrusions but my advice is to relax and ignore the doorbell, acknowledge her when she sees you but go about your business. Likely, you'll soon meet others in your building who may have more answers for you about this poor lady's condition. She may be looking out for anyone/everyone in the building and you may be one of many on her list of people to focus on. Her apparent senility will eventually land her in an elder care facility.

Answer 10

Just do this say I am so pleased you thought of me but I am very busy at the moment and then if they do not take the hint then you will have to be a bit more aggressive.and downright rude.