She is a severe alcoholic and severely abused and at times outright abandoned my husband and his 7 siblings. The only thing that has changed since then is her alcohol problem has gotten worse. I have a strong close family and don't always feel okay with not allowing our son around her. The two times he has seen her have been extremely negative experiences for us. He is just a baby and she is so mean to him with her actions and language. She gave him her dog's toy with slobber all over it for him to play with. Her house is covered in animal feces and pee. As far as allowing her in my home, its out of the question because of her drunken and sober lashings towards me. She has told the whole family my son isn't my husband's and its completely false. She doesn't know we had to see a fertility specialist for a year just to have our son. Help anyone. I just need to know if we are being fair. I don't want to enable her and her drinking.
2007-04-29 09:24:39 · 9 answers · asked by Sweetness 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have every right in the world to keep your son from seeing his grandmother. You should NOT allow him to be subjected to unacceptable behavior. Alcoholism is a disease & she is badly affected by it. With the things she says & does, it is not healthy for your son to be around this. Also, she is not a clean person & you certainly don't want your son to be putting things in his mouth subjecting him to getting sick. She needs help. Maybe a family intervention? Maybe a letter written out of love from your husband stating the reasons why you are keeping your son away from her might get to her heart. Alcoholics are filled with guilt. IF she feels guilty for her actions & it told the honest reasons for your actions, you may very well be helping her. He also could state it hurts HIM to see his mother in the condition she is in after she's been drinking & he is going to also stay away. Assure her you do love her & what you're doing & saying are because you LOVE her. Yes, she does have to "hit her bottom", but sometimes loved ones can help just by their actions. Do not accept unacceptable behavior!!!
2007-04-29 11:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently she hasn't hit rock bottom yet, and that's what needs to happen to an alcoholic before they get help and get their lives together, there's nothing wrong with talking to her and asking if she wants help in getting sober, letting her know that you would be supportive if she were to do so, but do not subject your child to her verbal and emotional abuse because you are his parents and you have the right to decide who can be apart of his life for now. You are being completely fair in keeping him away from her.
2007-04-29 16:34:21 · answer #2 · answered by kittin67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this case is it absolutely correct to keep your son from seeing his grandma! She is irresponsible and obviously can't be trusted and to be quite honest rather than just not keeping him from seeing her, I'd tell her flat out why you refuse to let your child see her. Sometimes it takes someone standing up to a drunk for them to see the hurt they have and are causing, and in this case, she'd be destroying your child's life if you were to allow him to be near her. My parent's fought with their parents a lot, there wasn't alcohol involved though, they were just hated my parents being together on both sides, and my dad stood up constantly for his relationship with my mom, and for my mom, My dad's parents finally tried to get along with my mom, but it took them a long time. I couldn't allow my child, myself or anyone I loved be around an abusive woman like this, i know many people have the belief that she's your husband's mom and you should try to love her and your husband definately should, but to be honest, you don't have to love or have any contact with those blood relatives who treat your loved ones like garabage to be yelled at, especially your baby!!
2007-04-29 17:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by willow_firestar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be child abuse to allow him to visit in her filthy home. If she comes to yours and lashes out at you, you nad your husband should ask her to leave. You are not keeping her from having a relationship with your son. You are protecting your son. She is stopping the relationship by refusing to behave in a socially acceptable manner. Quit worrying about it.
2007-04-29 16:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by msmthtchr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i was you i would do the same thing and no you are not in the wrong. if your child is around this all the time he will think its ok to drink and live like a slob even worst the way it sounds.we have to protect our children form the bad things in the world and this is one of those times. if others like to go over to this house more power to them have fun i say but the is their choice. if grandma really wanted to be a part of this child's life she would straighten out.
2007-04-29 16:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by attitude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you're doing the right thing. if she is negative and abusive, she is not someone i would want my child around. if the rest of the family wants to believe her lies, let them. you know the truth. i wouldn't let her in my home until she's clean and sober and apologizes.
2007-04-29 17:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't allow my dog around her let alone my children.
2007-04-29 16:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let any child of mine anywhere around this woman,,
2007-04-29 16:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by Gringa_uno 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
umm this one is a no brainer,,,,,, i would keep my kid away from her....
2007-04-29 18:56:26 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbell3648 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋