Pre-Marital Sex?

Question

I have a question about pre-marital sex. I just don't see why its a sin. I mean say me and a significant other felt we we're ready to have sex and we were disease free. Why would it be wrong to do that, and if i used protection and was responsible for any consiquences than how would it lead to any harm. I can see that many other sins lead to self destruction, and financial destruction. Which would be drugs and gambling. But if me and someone want to have sex, then im suppose to say no. Why should i, i wont be rewarded for doing it, i probably won't feel any better then the guy that does do it. Its not like im going to have sex with the person and the next day be cruel to them, or if i get them pregnant i'll take care of the baby and get married if thats what I have to do. I just don't see whats so evil about it. And besides there won't be any sex or romance in heaven so why can't I enjoy it on earth. I mean heaven is eternity.

It is not true that i am only looking for a relationship for sex. Id be happy if se didn't want to, even if i was a virgin till i was married. I'd still be happy. Im just saying if we felt to. When i said i had to get married, my mother told me if i ever got anyone pregnant i should marry them. Its what God said to do in the old days also. I just thought why not just take responsibility if anything bad happened. Also my friends have sex with drunk girls all the time, nothing bad ever happens to them. I think this is wrong and that sex should be between 2 people that love eachother. Altough it should be for married people. I'll admit i failed to see its consiquences for me. Because of that i will never fully acept it as wrong for myself. But i know i am responsible, i tend to be in many situations. My mom always said if i did have sex to make sure to use protection. If something bad happens then maybe then i'll understand. As for now i see nothing wrong with it.

Answer 1

Use condoms and enjoy .
Practice makes perfect !

Answer 2

The rules according to the bible are that sex with anyone other than your husband/wife is Adultery. So that includes pre marital sex. Personally I think it is all clap trap. Marriage was originally designed almost as a "property transaction" (I am talking Western world) and has only been imbued with "romantic love" idea recently. I think you can wholly believe that the person you are with at any time is the "one" without a piece of paper and the ceremony. You can believe the time is right and it is for no one else to decide but you. There is nothing wrong with sex, it is a healthy thing that all people (and yes even the unmarried ones do). Having said all that it is YOUR decision to hold off or not, no one else. Use protection if you do decide to have sex.

Answer 3

I will agree with Story Junkie, but make the next comments regarding all the "sex is a sin" comments of the Christian right wingers.

Actually, the bible talks about "adultery" only, not pre-marital sex. It is a sin to have sex with another persons spouse. However, dig a little deeper and list the major Christian leaders in the OT that had multiple wives - a practice that clearly goes against the belief that marriage is between two people only. And no, the argument that God made only Eve for Adam does not support the "one man/one woman" paradigm. That belief is based on assumption.

Deuteronomy spells it all out:

If a man sleeps with another man's wife (adultery), they both must die.

If a man rapes a woman in the city, and she is pledged to be married, they both must die.

If a man rapes a woman in the country, and she is pledged to be married, he must die.

If a man rapes a woman who is a virgin, and they are discovered, the man must pay 50 sheckles to the girls father and marry her.

The right wing hangs it's "no premarital sex" hat on Deut 22:13, which says if a man marries a woman and dislikes her, he can demand proof of her virginity. But it certainly does not require the man to "dislike" her.

Oh, and let's not forget "do not marry your father's wife, lest it dishonor him".

Judges goes on and talks about God fearing men having concubines (hmm...). And Genesis (Jacob's daughter Dinah) was raped and it was considered a "disgrace in Israel", but it was because inter-racial marriages were not allowed.

And think about Jesus... did he condemn the prostitute?

Before you condemn the question asker for his "potential sin", look at the plank in your own eye.

Answer 4

There's a certain amount of order to society, and a burden on society is unwed mothers. Although some men may be honourable and support their children and some women won't have anything to do with the birth father, there are a great deal of ignoble things that affect society as a whole. If a man and woman enter into a legal and binding agreement, it is better for everyone all around that these things are clearly defined so that in the end, there is less pain for the child, ergo for future generations. We are not animals, but thinking creatures who make a living in a complex way. We are symbiotically engaged to one another, and it is better to have a solid foundation for the good of everyone, and not just for your own selfish pleasure.

To set such an example to someone with less self-control is also a factor that you did not consider. If your younger brother entered into a relationship that is different dynamically than the one you set out, and he is more careless, then the problem is yours as well as his. You are culpable, as far as I am concerned.

Although a relationship may seem straight-forward, not having any vows spoken puts it on a shaky foundation, whereas a couple that perseveres (and trust me, every relationship goes through all kinds of phases and temptations), has that to cling to when the seas get rough.

This is a very good question.

Answer 5

There's no need to go into a big analysis: the fact is that there are tons of things in religions that are 'sins' for no good reason. If you're looking at a religious 'rule' (in this case about pre-marital sex being a sin) and it doesn't seem to make sense to you, chances are it doesn't. At BEST, people have corrupted the hell (pun intended) out of God's word. On the other hand, it's more likely that these rules were made up because they would help either convert people or keep people from leaving once they were a part of the religion (denying pleasures (and sex is a universal one) is a classic cult tactic).

The more you look, the more nonsensical things you'll find.

Answer 6

I regard this as a question not of "sins", but of human nature. There are basically three things that motivate people, once you get down to basics: survival, hunger, and sex. If you negate one of those, the way I see it, you are fighting against human nature. People can do whatever they want whenever they want, as long as it is within their capabilities. Governments have imposed rules upon this freedom, which I and probably most people who are not criminals see as a good thing. But nowhere in these sets of rules is it said that people have to fight against nature or evolution, as another product of sex in the long run is that cells in the human body mutate and evolve and eventually change largely enough to cope with our environments, and if that doesn't happen we die out.

Answer 7

You are questioning a basic rule tenet of most religions. If you just want to have sex for the fun of it, chances are that relationship is probably going to sour eventually.

You are trying to act like it's such a casual thing, huh. Kind of like, what's the big deal I'm not hurting anyone. It is precisely that attitude that lets people slide down a slippery slope and start doing worse things.

I think you said you're going to use "protection" - which sounds pretty vague. OK, so you're going to use a condom I guess, huh? Well, condoms don't work all of the time, and chances are you'll probably not use it sometime if you get too used to making love with your partner. Then if a baby comes along you will just "get married if thats what I have to do." So basically that marriage will be doomed from the beginning, because you weren't planning or intending on getting married but you just had to. I'm almost 99% sure that marriage is going to have serious problems. After the baby is born you will probably start getting disatisfied because you're wife will not be able to put that much attention into you because of the baby. And since you started this relationship just because of sex, you will probably look elsewhere for that. Then your marriage very well will be on the ropes.

Answer 8

Just simply it's considered a sin because God said so...
Basically Sex is what marriage is... the two become one flesh... every time one has sex it should remind them of what it is to be married... it's about love and commitment and intimacy.
To non christians or anyone for that matter I always say this.. if you're not ready to make a life time commitment to someone to love them for the rest of your life and if your not ready to possibly become a parent you're not ready to have sex Period. Because that's what sex is supposed to be about... a loving commitment and eventually having children. That's just the way I see it... and i think that it would save us alot of heart ache if more people saw it that way. I stayed a virgin till I got married... I have soooo many dear girlfriends who've told me they wished they'd waited. We as women tend to get hurt more often because we gave up too much physically or not enough for a guy's taste. Sex is supposed to be an emotional thing not just physical... unfortunately many don't see it that way and someone is bound to get hurt when that happens.
My husband didn't wait... he knew when we got together that I was waiting till I got married. He told me early on (we were good friends before we dated) that because of all the drama (and let me tell you there was massive drama) and because I was waiting for our wedding he'd wished he'd waited too.
It's not easy... I got hurt plenty of times but when you get to your wedding night and your new spouse knows that you went through along struggle to give them that one time only gift.. it is an amazing thing.

Answer 9

That is an old belief that carries over from the 1800s and before. Men and women were not even supposed to kiss until their wedding day and that only after the minister said "You may kiss your bride" There are a lot of beliefs from years past that are still talked about today but not practiced. If you and your other are in the mood, then go for it. However, I do caution you to remember what you said. Support your significant other, care for her and any babies that may result.

Answer 10

Who gave you the idea that there would be no sex in heaven? People life does not and should not revolve around sex. I think there is something to be said in a positive way about sexual purity in both a male and a female. There are hundreds of answers to list as to why you should refrain from sex until marriage besides purity. I have heard the biggest reason to refrain from sex until marriage is that if you have sex before marriage than once you are married the joy of sex deteriorate quicker than normal. Then you will find out early in marraige that it is not a joyful experience but it is something that either the husband or wife is "bored" with and some women even feel ashamed later in marriage because they didn't refrain from sex before marriage. How about the "Date Rape" thing. Many times that happens because one person thinks it is ok and the other says it is not and wants to wait. Finally, the old "protection" think is a cop-out. Not everybody that has sex before marriage always uses protection. There will come a time when you have the urge, do not have protection and emotions take over and you have sex anyways.

Answer 11

pre-martial sex is a sin in Christian religions and in Islam.

Something I told my kids was that everytime someone has sex with a different person, they are giving away a peice of their heart and when the time comes and they find their 1 true love they cannot give him/her all of their heart because they have already given peices of it away.

Peace to you