I am in a backwards relationship. It is an agreement we made together a long time ago. I work and he stays home with the kids. I do help, especially on my days off, by cooking and helping around the house. But since I work full time should HE have primary responsibility over the home? It seems like nothing gets done around here! He says he does but I don't see it. We always have dirty dishes and dirty clothes every where and its always cluttered. What do you think?
2007-04-29 03:31:31 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He should be doing the housework. But with your help when u can.First u need to show him how to do everything. This way it can be organized.Like what day to do the laundry and how it should be done.My son works all day and goes to school at night.I cook he does the dishes.He mows and I do the laundry. He takes care of the living room and I'm stuck with the bathroom. Thats how I do it at my house because we both work. Since he doesn't then he should be carrying most of the load with the housework,Good luck Another thing is u should tell him this is what u expect him to do.No negotiation!!!!
2007-04-29 03:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A dirty house is just what it is like if you tend to spend time with the kids. Why don't you sit down and make a schedule? That way you will both be doing equal work. Being at home full-time doesn't necessarily mean ALL the house work. You didn't say how old the kids are. If they are all in school, he SHOULD be shouldering the majority of the work. If any are still at home, you need to help a great deal more.
Why aren't the kids helping some? If they are over 3, they can help.
2007-04-29 11:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I agree w/this. If the tables where turned than most man expect it out of the woman. there is no reason he can not pitch in and do some of the housework, that way on your days off you two can enjoy it w/your child. If you haven't already sit down and let him know it would mean a lot to you if he helped out a little more with the housework. Don't let it seem that he is not doing a great job as a parent or his defensive side will show up. good luck
2007-04-29 10:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
DUH! Yes he should be on top of that stuff while you work your rear off. I have the same thing.... I work full time at a very physical job. That said.... the shoulds do not always happen and men have a way of acting stupid or not doing something thoroughly so that the women will step in. Now I know that is not always the case, but I sure have had it up to here if you know what I mean.Maybe you can help him get organized. Get bins for the laundry and have him think of it like a job. It is ... his job.Turn on some good music and get the vacuum rolling while the clothes are washing. He needs help to establish his systems for making things go smoothly.
2007-04-29 10:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think you were swindled. Usualy when the man stays home, it's because he has to. Meaning he just cannot find work, and the woman is already making good money. It's a necessity thing. The fact that it was an agreement you came to beforehand, tells me he's just a lazy loser. I bet he plays video games all day or something other than watching the kids anyways.
Tell him to be man and get a job.
2007-04-29 10:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by Joker 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you are been taken like a fool, sorry to say.
you said it yourself, what agreement? it looks you are the only one keeping your end of it. He should be taking care of everything, and making sure it gets done right, including laundry, cooking and cleaning. Just think, if you would be a stay home mom, would he fulfill his part? would he provide all for you and your kids? I bet no, he wouldn't....so what kind of agreement got yourself into?
I been in such situation, he did almost everything, including ironing, and also flirting with the neighbors, cheating on me etc etc, eventually I left him, .. the only thing I thank him for is my son...that is it.
if you can, undo the agreement and demand he gets a job, you will not be the first family with two working parents and a kids at care center. You will then really know what kind of man you got!
2007-04-29 10:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by Pi 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You need to sit down and talk to him about your situation. I am this kind of relationship too. I work full-time 11pm-7 am come home get the kids off to school, then shower and to bed.. It is HIS responsibility to get house work done, dishes laundry, toilets whatever done, he starts dinner then when I wake up I finish dinner, take my girls to dance class, scouts and whatever else needs to be done. You just have to work as a team..
2007-04-29 21:17:48 · answer #7 · answered by Holly 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes. Not only should he do everything that you have mentioned in t}your question but also he just take the time to go out and pay all of the bills with his money (because he is living with you in your apartment) and also he needs to take out the trash every single day.
May I suggest that you call him up unexpectedly and find out what he is doing.
2007-04-29 20:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by conde_c_b 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you were the one expected to stay at home you would be required to do as much so I think you shoudl go over what needs to be done. why should you go to work to pay the bills and coem home and clean. That leaves you with alot less time wihtthe kids. If theres two parents in the house you shouldnt have to bring home the bacon. cook it. and clean the pan
2007-04-29 10:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you were the stay at home mom, he would expect the house to be sparkling clean and dinner on the table when he gets home. There is no reason why you can't have the same expectations. Your bf needs to quit making excuses and start cleaning and cooking.
2007-04-29 10:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by ..... 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋