Live in bf has yahoo ad, lied about it, left evidence, got caught. Gets calls, hides to talk. says meeting with these women as "not a date" Says needs to talk to someone not as close to his problems, too stressful to talk to me because I get emotional. Been together 3 + years, live together, not married but basically have blended family, ex wife makes life hell for everyone, multiple stressful situations of his that I stick through. We both wanted me to stop working for the summer to be home with kids so kids can go to activities they want. Now afraid all I will be is a babysitter while he cheats, which he feels isn't cheating. He blames my weight as reason to look. My weight is now more than it was while I was losing weight in relationship, but still less than it was when we met. Stress from his ex and all the fall out of the divorce, new custody battle, a house fire and financial concerns plus he wants dinner late at night all have led to weight gain. He says lame excuses.
2007-04-29 02:52:02 · 31 answers · asked by Lynne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is testing the waters to see if there is anything better on the market at this time. Get rid of him if he is doing all that than he is looking to find new romance elsewhere.
suro
2007-04-29 02:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by suro25 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lynne, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and smells like a duck, is it a swan?
If these kids are your kids, take em and go. If they are not, give em back and leave or kick him out.
He makes issues of your weight and has covert phone buddies and online friends he meets, then he is stepping out on you even if he isn't screwing them.
You are his babysitter. This goes beyond whether or not you are the fat, needy girlfriend. Sounds like you have a pretty low self-image, so I suggest you find someone to discuss your problems with, and if you are concerned about your weight and the loyalty of your man, then there is only one person who can change those things..you.
Just don't go at it half-assed. Go all the way. If you want to lose weight, take all the money you would waste on the man and buy a gym membership and a personal trainer to ensure you don't stop going.
2007-04-29 03:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Glenn J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an @rsehole! Get out now while you still have a shred of dignity left! He is not only treating you like dirt by looking for other women but he's using the oldest and dirtiest trick in the book by trying to turn it around on you! Someone who loves you would never hurt you and damage your ego just so that they can get their own way!
Face up to the fact that this guy is a scumbag who is taking you for an idiot who will just stay with him and put up with his cr*p if he keeps chipping away at your self esteem and making you believe he is doing you a favour by being with you.
This sort of thing is so cliched and predictible and is usually done by selfish b@st@ards who have never grown up.Let's face it, this guy thinks he's cleverer than you and can get you to do exactly what he wants!You should give him the shock of his life and kick him out!!! Then maybe he'll realise that you aren't as stupid as he took you for.
This guy has absolutely no respect for you and he probably doesn't have respect for any woman! Get rid of him and find some self confidence and eventually you will find someone who really loves you and is not just trying to manipulate you.
Good Luck x.
2007-04-29 03:11:20 · answer #3 · answered by wattie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like a form of cheating.... emotional rather an physical though; however can be very dangerous...
First of all, if he needs someone to talk to it should be you. Maybe you need to try to let him talk to you about problems without "getting emotional" as he puts it, then he'll have no excuse to go to these other women. If you can't talk about things sensibly and work out problems together then where does that leave you for the future?
Good luck
2007-04-29 03:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I just went through this myself , but instead of looking for sex he was on every dating site there was! Also he was paying for monthly subscriptions for these dating sites. I confronted him and he said he was talking to a friend.. Really.. I don't lie, sneak around , have to create user names or have to pay $80's a month per site to talk to my friends. Sadly confronting him only made him more careful . So if you were completely caught off guard my advice is get out! Cause he will no stop
2016-05-21 05:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's cheating, but I think you knew that deep down in you heart anyway. You probably noticed the change and didn't want to accept it initially. I think if the two of you could work on the relationship (if he's interested), then try to reconcile and put the spark back in it. Otherwise, don't stick around just because you have kids and years invested because you will be unhappy in the long run.
2007-04-29 02:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by Unique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have our own definition of cheating. To me having drinks is a date, kissing is cheating. Going to bars or making a yahoo ad is shopping. The bottom line is that the guy is over you and is just hanging around until he finds someone new. Why make it that easy for him? Loose some weight and find someone with a little more class.
2007-04-29 03:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like your relationship is in jeopardy due to his behavior then you must take steps to leave what seems to be a very emotionally abusive relationship. Your weight does not seem to be the issue but a deflection for when he gets caught doing things that are considered "cheating" or "wrong", there for he gets defensive. I feel leaving is your only choice before things start to get psychical.
2007-04-30 08:13:42 · answer #8 · answered by justnataliek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being treated with enormous disrespect, and you are being emotionally abused by this man. Also, yes, he is cheating. There is no excuse for this behavior--not your weight, or anything else.
The question is what you do about it. You will certainly receive a lot of advice to leave, and I agree with that. But I also hope that you will get some individual professional counseling. (I doubt he will go to couples counseling.)
Good luck with this.
2007-04-29 03:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn,that a difficult situation...I guess in this case not to make him feel comfortable...you're too mummy with him,make him dinner,stay with kids...is there something that you like in all this or is it all just cos you got used to him...He wants to see other women to boost his ego,that he still didn't loose it...I mean blaming you for his problems is not a solution.Either you have to make a big decision and step out of the role of baby-sitter for him and his kids and start all over...or suffer the consequnces and getting worse,maybe evenend up cheated and used...sorry,but that is my opinion...hope i didn't make too painful
2007-04-29 02:59:14 · answer #10 · answered by domnika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are his intentions with these women? If he gets calls and has to hide to have the conversation, something is wrong! Why do you have to stay home and babysit; can't he stay home while you go out and have fun with friends? Use your eyes for a minute and not your heart. I think you see all you need to see to make the best decision for you and your family.
2007-04-29 02:58:23 · answer #11 · answered by truthislight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋