I've been with my current boyfriend for almost three years. Things started out great, like they usually do, but went downhill from there. He has started to constantly put me down and now everything has become my fault. He's at the point of being emotionally abusive. I know he has been unfaithful at least 3 times maybe many more. We do have a son together and he is a great father. I feel like i owe my son the chance to have both his parents together. I just don't want to do anything to hurt my son, even if it means being unhappy. The worst thing is now their is this guy I used to work with and i've seemingly become more interested. i saw him last night and he came over to talk to me while he was workin and he touched my arm and got close and i went completly stupid. I know he likes me just not to what extent. I honestly like him too. I think i know what i should do but I'm afraid i could make a rash decision. any advice????
2007-04-29 02:17:40 · 10 answers · asked by mommyshlee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is not better to stay in an unhappy relationship "for the sake of the children". Kids are very intuitive and can pick up on the vibes of angry parents...and they normally internalise the fights and subtle animosity as somehow their fault...you deserver some happiness for once...the father of your son has cheated on your before! If this new guy seems like a decent and genuine man then go for it...don't settle for second best.
2007-04-29 02:25:35 · answer #1 · answered by GirlsAreStupid!ThrowRocksAtThem! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer is not meant to put you down; I just get really passionate about these topics.
Why is it, that women feel the need to put up with these types of things? If the shoe were on the other foot, men would be out the door so fast, but women....We put up with so much.
Why do women feel that they have to endure abuse of any kind for the sake of their children? Your child can and will have a great relationship with his father if it is nurtured. Children grow up, and they learn to understand the ways of love and relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship the BEST thing you could ever do for your child is to leave now. You have a son, and I know it would kill you if he grew up and became what your boyfriend is.
Why, oh why, do you settle for a man who will cheat on you? A person who cheats has no regard for themselves. He certainly has no respect for you or your child. How can you go on with this man, knowing he has shared something so sacred with someone else; the very act that brought your precious child into this world? It seems like you are reaching out already with this other guy, and even though there may be an interest there, I would suggest you take a step back before you end up the cheater! Two wrongs don't make a right. Make a rational decision about your current relationship. It all comes down to what you are willing to put up with. If you feel you deserve a man who will abuse you, cheat on you, and set negative examples for your child, that's your business. I know you deserve much more than that.
2007-04-29 02:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by truthislight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl it sounds to me like it's time to break up with the first guy, but not time to think about a second just yet.
Your son will adjust to the new living situation. Yeah it's great when both parents can be together, and happy. But if they are miserable and your boyfriend is constantly putting you down, what kind of example is that setting for you son? What kind of man do you want him to grow into?
You would be better off being on your own, learning how to be happy and boosting your self-esteem a little. Don't fall into another relationship right away, instead learn how to be happy by yourself, then find a man that compliments the life you have built for yourself and your son. Being a single parent can be tough but it can be very rewarding.
2007-04-29 02:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by sadie m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not stay with a man who puts you down, who cheats on you, who`s abusive for the sake of the children. How can the children be happy with an unhappy mom and a disrespectful father. There is no such thing anymore, these are the modern times and women don`t need to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of the children. You can be happy and your children too without daddy living with you.
Do one thing at a time. If you have no hope for the father of your child move on...then once you`ve settle down on your own start the search for a new man. Don`t do both at the same time it will not serve you well and your ex will use this to make your separation difficult.
2007-04-29 02:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's emotionally abusive and he was unfaithful? C'mon girl...there's no question. I know you love him and I know you are used of him, but you would def. be better of without him.Your son doesn't need a family like that. Believe me. My parents got divorced when I was little, but thank God they did...I know I was much happier...Your son doesn't need to watch you suffering and his father abusing you...It's not good for you and it's also not good for your son. He can only be happy, if you are happy. You should take care of yourself and only then you'll be able to take care of your son. And he will always have his father, if you stay with him or not...Hope I was helpful...
2007-04-29 02:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by Minnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you stay !has he started hiting you yet he wants you to leave because he is trying to kill your esteam you do not have to stay with a man because he a good father he can still be in your childs life without out all the abuse you are taking from himleave befor it gets worse but make sure you have all of your stuff together dont leave and get out and them start filling bad because you left Put your faith in god he will help you and stand up for you and your boys i have 3 son and left my husband when they was very small i am ok and you will be also
2007-04-29 02:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by lfw0255 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a predicament, but not uncommon when 2 people decide to shack up with no commitments. Man gets what he wants with no strings and she gets immediate, if temporary, acceptance and comfort.
NOw what to do?? First, STOP MAKING DECISIONS based on some giddy feeling when you talk to a new guy.. TAKE A COLD SHOWER.
Then truly assess your situation with "current bf". Get out if necessary to protect you and your child, NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE HOTS FOR BF#2.
Good Luck
2007-04-29 02:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like ur son is surrounded by love despite the issue with ur boyfriend. that is wonderful.
u dont need the abuse. i would say move on, at least emotionally.
there is no reason a boyfriend cant become a roommate, who happens to be the father of ur child.
2007-04-29 02:30:13 · answer #8 · answered by miss lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny!! i dated a guy for three yrs too!! everything was great the first three months..... thin he startd not listening to me treating me like **** and calling me names.. ignoring my calls leavn with friends not calling me..... breaking up with me everyother day and the worst thing out of all of it was that i stayd with him that long leting him do it!!!! leave him be4 it gets nasty.. (it already has!) i know itll be hard to let him go maby bc u love him or you have been through alot with this guy but im beter off now without the guy that i was with!! HES NOT FOR U!! he dont treat you with respect and no girl should ever ever ever!! haft to settle for anyone!! trust me on this one being sad for a month or so bc u broke up is beter thin another year with him! trust me.. goodluck:) ps.. no matter what he says just tell him its over
2007-04-29 02:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by becca m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the main thing is that your happy and it sounds like you deserve so much better. life is to short to be with somebody that doesn't treat with respect and if your with him for the sake of your son than that's unfair on you. I'm sure your son wants his mum to be happy. follow your heart and have no regrets. good luck x
2007-04-29 02:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋