Wedding Etiquette?

Question

My sister is getting married in June. Recently my mom threw a bridal shower for her where I got her a gift. Now am I required to bring a gift to the actually wedding. I know people bring gifts to the wedding. The last wedding I went to there was no shower and before that I was a kid. What is the rule here? Do I bring a gift to the wedding or not?

First off to those who made comments that I shouldn't be cheap, stop making assumptions. I'm not Miss Manners so I don't know everything.

At the bridal shower all the gifts were gifts were selected off the bridal registry which was why I was confused.

Answer 1

A bridal shower gift is definitely separate from a wedding gift. You don't have to spend a lot on the gift...just make it something that has a special meaning to you and your sister. A favorite photo of the two of you together in a nice frame would work! Something like that will be very special to both of you now and in the future.

Answer 2

Shower and Wedding gifts are separate. Most people put a gift of money in the Wedding card, does not matter what the amount is, put in what you can afford, it will be appreciated. Most people use the guideline of when they are dining out and having a couple of drinks as the basis of what to put in a card, such as if you spend 25-50 dollars when eating out then put that amount and a little more if you can into the Wedding card. I don't like the idea of "presents" at a Wedding because I think they are more work for the bride and groom to have someone look after them, transporting them, and hopefully not breaking anything or losing the card from the giver....much easier to give cash/check or gift card in an envelope.
Your Sister will not be too worried about "another gift" from you at the Wedding she will be glad that you are able to share the day with her. If you feel you must give another gift and still cannot afford a monetary present, then try to help her in any way you can with the ceremony/reception, I'm sure she will appreciate you taking the time to help her.
Have a great time, and don't worry about the "gift".

Answer 3

Many people for my wedding brought gifts to both--as one was a shower gift and the other was a wedding gift. However, many people (especially those that did not have much money) did not--they gave us their wedding gift prior to the wedding and that was that.

Gifts are not mandatory. They are merely appreciated. Brides do not expect gifts and there is no such rule of a "cover charge" where you must give the bride twice what she spent on your plate. Some of the gifts I appreciated the most were from friends that really thought about my husband and my preferences. For example, one friend got a few of the cheap lil things off the registry that no one thought to get. The 1-3 dollar items and put them in a basket. Another friend got us some new voltive candles that matched the house as she knew that we had just gotten several candalabras for wedding gifts.

One gift I thought would have been really nice is something on the honeymoon. I know Carnival does the Bon Voyage packages, or you can give them a gift card for their sail and sign card. Many resorts allow you to buy a bottle of wine to send up to their room. No one thinks of gifts like that and I think that is super sweet.

If you don't have much money, Bed Bath and Beyond has tons of things for less than $10 that you could get them. I only drink Coke; my husband only drinks Pepsi. Most people don't know that neither of us are willing to compromise--so my sister got us a 12 pk of each so that when we got back from the honeymoon we each had our beverage of choice.

Or like the prior poster said--a picture frame of the 2 of you together. Or if she got a picture frame at the shower that she really likes but is a difficult size--you could take that frame and print out a picture that will fit in the frame and go ahead and put it in the frame for her.

I posted all our wedding pictures online so that everyone in the family could see them and order prints of any picture they liked. My lil cousin printed out a lot of those pictures (combined with the ones she had from the bachelor and bachelorette party, plus as a member of the bridal party she had been at nail salon and rehearsal dinner) and made a lil scrapbook of the wedding. It's completely different from the photographers album since it contains all that pre-wedding stuff.

It doesn't have to be expensive. As her sister, you probably know them better than anyone else. Get them something that is more about the two of them--something that perhaps only the immediate family would know--and it will be far more memorable than merely the amount of money you spent.

Answer 4

It varies from state to state and region to region, but there is a general rule and here it is:

Do what you can truly afford to do!

If you attend a lingerie shower or other shower with non-traditonal gifts that are not on the main registry, you should try to get them something off the registry too.

If the shower was given with china, stemware, household items etc. off their main registry, you do not have to give a gift again at the wedding.

In some states, it is traditional to give an actual item at the shower, and then a money gift at the wedding itself.

Ask around your area and see what most people do.

The bottom line is, though, that you can only do what you can do.

Answer 5

Normally at a bridal shower, gifts are personal for the bride. At a wedding, gifts are for the couple.

Answer 6

You're not required to actually give a gift at the wedding. Traditionally the only event you "have" to give a gift for would be the shower, because that's the point.. to "shower" the bride in gifts for her new home/life...

It's entirely up to you as to whether you want to give a gift. Seeing as its your sister, you probably would like to do something special, it doesn't have to be something off the registry either, you could do something special for her from you, like a collage from childhood photos/memories, or something that has special meaning from you to her...

Answer 7

yes.

the bridal shower gift is a personal gift for the bride intended actually as a send off from single life...

now a wedding gift for the couple is appropriate intended to get them started in life as a couple..

most people go with a check in a card which is greatly appreciated at the onset of marriage... if you choose this, deicreetly hand the sealed card to the bride or groom sometime during the reception party while giving a congratularoty hug...

if you choose a gift, try something personal for both... stay away from toasters, blenders etc... what do you know about thie home, or personal needs as a couple??? sheets perhaps... or a nice comforter?

have fun shopping...

Answer 8

Yes you do. The wedding shower was for the bride only. Most shower gifts are personal items such as nighties or bath oils or naughty novelty gifts.
The actual wedding gift is for the wedding couple. If you are working low budget, your best bet is to go with a gift card to a nice resteraunt or even somewhere like Wal-Mart or Target. Even if they get the things that are on their list, a gift card can provide them with a few weeks of groceries or odds and ends and come in very handy.

Answer 9

I thing if you can afford it yes but if i get a wedding gift for the shower iget a nice card and put about 50.00 in it just for her but give it to her befor the weddingto show her how much you love her.asister love is true let her know that you care You hav ealready spent money on one giftgive you sister a love gift
Good luck

Answer 10

I always tell my clients if they are going to the shower and the wedding to divide cost on gifts. For the shower gift it is nice to keep it in the 30-50 dollar range. Focus on getting them something for their house - example their bed sheets or towels. For the Wedding you will want to get them something from their china or giftware. It is always nice to bring two gifts but you can spend more on one and just get a card for the shower. In my opinion I would say yes to the two gifts just budget well.