married for past 24 years.what should b done with a husband who is cheating continuesly for past so many years

Question

he is going abroad for the second time to c his chat mates chosing his chat mates then his family. i m here for my kids as my daughters r of marriageable age.what should b done with the man like this whose been cheating me for the past so many years? i m financly dependant on him so he always takes advantage of this. i always loved him he was my first love nd the last as i lost trust in this husband word. but i think he does not deserve a sincear wife like me so much devoted to her family nd he exactly the opposite least bothered. what should b done with the man like this who is a big cheater in every relation he has ? never been a good son,brother,father nd husband. only good to his chat mates nd ..........

Answer 1

After 25 years of my married life I sit here & help people to solve their family & legal problem, about which my wife is fully aware, even if I have to chat with some one concerning his or her family problem I do that too, but never after so many years with a dedicated wife this thing came in my mind to chat with other females at cost of my family life, no doubt I tell ever one I can be a good friend nothing more then that & any one is most welcome to visit me at my house in presence of my wife. This thing I'm unable to understand why your husband definitely of my age group is running after other females in this age & that too going abroad for this purpose? Either he is finding a way out to settle out of country or he is sexually frustrated to the extend he finds those females more attractive or he wants to get rid of you hence finding way out for this purpose? Any person in late forties or early fifties is more concerned about his own family specially education, career & marriage of kids rather then his own sexual fantasies which I find happening in your case. It looks very odd that a person having daughter of marriageable age running after other females, better it should be to first see his daughters settled down first the look out for his own enjoyment things if he is so much frustrated. You see I started this yahoo answering thing only last year in the month of November when my daughters marriage was already fixed & all issues regarding the marriage were settled then only I took time for some social work out here. I have been advising everyone to behave according to his/her age & status not to run after superficial issues such as chatting & all just wasting time that ultimately results into both waste of time & money. Sorry for your story but here even I will not advice you to take any drastic step now till your daughters get married, just try to keep cool & calm, try to make your husband understand his responsibilities rather his joy rides abroad, if need be try the help of some other elders of the family to convince him & make him understand his primary responsibity now.

Answer 2

First you have ask yourself if you want to live without him. In other words: would you be better off without him under the circumstances.
If you decide that leaving him is your best option then prepare for being on your own. Get training so you can be self supporting. Go to school. Start working somewhere part time. Don't just leave and expect money to just appear out of nowhere. You have to be able to earn money so why don't you find out how to do that.
Since he is supporting you, take some of the money he gives you and pay for schooling. I think it's more then fair to do this since he's been using you for so long.
When you feel that you are ready to be on your own then file for divorce. If he is not the violent type then you can tell him face to face that you are leaving and why. If you are afraid that he will hurt you than leave him a note.
If you can stay with family or a friend while you find a job and a place to stay than do that. If need to have your own place first than rent a place before your move out.
I hope that whatever you decide that you are able to improve your life.

Answer 3

The question you need to ask yourself is do you want a husband that cheats because cheaters never stop. If you want to be married to a man like that then just ignore it and go on as you are. However, if you think you're worth more than that then move out get a job and start living. Don't be afraid there are all kinds of nice guys out there who will care about you and be kind to you but just a thought a really contented life can be had by women who are self supporting emotionally and financially. Then they don't need a man unless they want him. I feel sorry for the ladies your husband is off to visit they are so desperate they will chat up a married man. Pathetic just pathetic. As for you.... you're only pathetic if you elect to stay and be another of his victims you can stop that at any time.

Answer 4

You've been married 24 years and I know it's really hard to turn your back on that. However he isn't going to change. He doesn't want to change, he knows you know about his affair and he doesn't seem to care. You can either accept him as he is or leave him. Do your best to find a job while he is away so that you aren't dependent on him then sue him for divorce. Seeing how you have been dependent on him for 24 years he will probably be forced to pay alimony but I doubt he'll pay.

Kick his no good cheating @ss out and move on with your life. You deserve better.

Answer 5

Honey,
If I were you, I think the best punishment to the ones who he's cheating with is to let them have him! Good riddance!
If you've been married for 24 years and he's always cheated, he's hardly going to stop now.
If you don't have the courage to end your marriage,then stay married, learn to ignore his deceits and enjoy your daughters - they'll be married soon so have fun with them while you can.
If I were you, I would divorce him, get the alimony and restart afresh. But that's me.
All I can say is : Keep the faith

Answer 6

I didn't even finish reading this, I didn't have to. Leave, seriously, he is cheating and choosing people before his family, why are you putting up with this? More importantly aren't you worried what your children may think as they get older, they will find this behavior as acceptable. You do not have to stay, divorce, get full custody of your children (normally courts will never seperate children from their mother), and sue for alimony. I know it sounds like alot, but if you can stay at your mother's or something till you get this done, you will be a happier, stronger person for it.

Don't put up with it.

Answer 7

you just cand do anything at this stage except to adjust with the same as your daughters are grown up to a stage that any step of your will ruin the life of your childrens,my question to you is why you realized this whole situation so late when you left with no option now you just do your duties and you are on the right track joined yahoo answers start chatting some day or later you will diffenetely find here some good friends in the mean time do your duties find some good matches on shaadi.com for your daughters after you complete your duties leave your husband atleast he should realize his faults god bless you take care

Answer 8

Tell him you want a divorce and start saving money to move out so your not financially dependant on him. I can't believe you were willing to stay with a man that has no respect for himself or you just because you need him to be able to survive financially. If you don't have a job get one and leave this man or just continue to be miserable being married to a cheater your choice.

Answer 9

geez honey you are a pretty silly woman aren't you.
obviously your 'so called' "husband" doesn't care for you or your family in any sort of way. so why would you be sticking around putting up with this?
honey when you get a divorce these days both people always come out with something...it's not like you are going to have nothing. you need to get yourself a job...and fine yourself a house to live in rent one...

good luck honey..it is a very hard thing to do. but there is no reason for you to be with him, is there?

unless u don't want to leave him, why don't you talk to him about going to see a marriage councellor...tell him it is either that..or nothing at all.....

good luck.

Answer 10

well, i know hoew you feel , but being financially dependent on him is not a reason for u to let him continue fooling u! i was in this situation b4 but not that he is cheatin g me, but being irresponsible, were married for 7 years now, am working out of my country to support my kids becoz he cannot make a responsible decision, and i will not allow my kids to suffer and not taste the good side of life just bcoz of his being irresponsible!!! what i am tryingbto tell u is wake up! move on i know u are not a disable person....u can make a living to support the needs of ur kids even thier wants. besides, they don't need an irresponsible father bcoz in what he is doing right now is he's not being a father nor a husband. we, devoted wife doesn't deserve this kind of husband BECOZ THEIR NOT!!!!