Bachelorette Party Dinner Question?

Question

I know people have discussed that it's perfectly okay to have each person pay for their own meal and drinks, and chip in collectively for the bride. However, my friends insist that you have to split the bill evenly, and that is proper etiquette. However, I disagree because I think that the bulk of the bill ends up being alcoholic beverages, which I can't drink. In the end, they're making out pretty well. I personally think if anything, it's bad etiquette to expect someone to front the bill (excluding the bride's tab) for their meals and drinks, especially in the case, where a person doesn't/can't drink Can anyone enlighten me here and tell me whether my way of thinking is correct or what. Also, how am I supposed to tell them that I can't afford to do that when it's automatically expected as "proper etiquette"?

Answer 1

There is no proper etiquette for spliting bills, because it is not proper etiquette. But if you want it to be fair have everyone calculate what they ate and drank, and split the bride's bill evenly.

Answer 2

I understand how you feel. Normally when I go out with a group of people and do the "split the bill evenly" thing, they have had many drinks. Your way is much better. I would think that you could suggest to the waitress or waiter that you all have a separate tab. When someone orders a drink, she can hand her tab to the waitress. That way everyone has her own bill and the bride's bill can be divided.

There is no proper etiquette for this except that not much should be said about the bill in the guest of honor's presence. Separate bills would work and then you can just pass the bride's bill around and everyone can include enough for her share of the bride's bill and tip.

If you can talk to the restaurant about this ahead of time.

Answer 3

I think the days of "proper etiquette" are long gone. Proper etiquette would mean the Brides parents are paying for the ENTIRE wedding, and I don't know one wedding where this has happened! If you are in charge of the dinner, you should decide what is appropriate for the party. Your idea is not out of line and seems entirely appropriate. Perhaps middle ground would be to have everyone evenly split the dinner bill only and drinks left up to the individual to buy on their own. I personally think your idea is the easiest and les confusing of the two.
As far as expaining this to the party, well, I don't think any explanation is necessary. Simply tell them that the easiest thing to do is for each to pay for their own dinner and drinks and the party will collectively ensure that the Bride's bill is takne care of.

Answer 4

If it's a dinner party that the 'maids are hosting for the bride, then they would all pay for their own meals, then pay collectively for the bride, and this typically means splitting her bill evenly. Since you're all co-hosts, you shouldn't be required to split the bill for the other hosts' meals. You can either do it this way, or you can state what you can afford in the beginning before the planning. That way, the venue can be centered around what you can afford as a group, and work from there, not backwards. You might have done better speaking up before the place was booked, or other details made, by saying something such as, "I can contribute XX dollars to this event. Can we find a way to make the event amenable to everyone's budget?"

Answer 5

Etiquette is all about making people comfortable, and evenly splitting a bill that was not really even doesn't follow that guideline; therefor, it's not "proper etiquette" no matter what your friend says. When splitting a bill, doing it evenly is simply for convenience sake, but the practice of going "Dutch Treat" does not mean that.

If your friends continue to insist on splitting the bill evenly, as a fair compromise, I would suggest splitting the meal ticket evenly, but have everyone pay her own bar tab.

Answer 6

This is a party, and this party is a gift to the bride. Therefore, if you can afford to participate in splitting the bill evenly, do so, and think of it as a gift to the bride, or as an act of charity.

However, if you honestly can't afford this, or if it would truly be a hardship for you, speak up before the party. Speak to your friends, or e-mail them, and tell them what you told us. If they are truly your friends, then they will understand and not force or coerce you into paying for drinks you didn't have.

If they don't understand this, you'll have to decide whether you'll help pay for the drinks anyway and perhaps give up a movie or a meal out that week or month, or if you won't go to the party at all.

Perhaps you can arrange beforehand for one generous-hearted friend to pick up "your" share of the drink tab.

Answer 7

The rule for any party is that the hosts pay for the guests. It's up to the organizers of the party to decide who are the "hosts" and who are the "guests".