How can I tell my dad that i don't want to visit or talk to him again without him flipping out becasue he has a quick temper.
I don't want to visit him but he wants me 2
2007-04-28 11:05:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Put it in a letter and mail it. Maybe when he sees his temper is scaring you off he will think about it.
2007-04-28 11:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you didn't ask for my personal advice, but you should still visit you dad. I once felt the same way about my dad. But there are so many children without a dad that you should appreciate the fact that you have one that wants you around. Also, when he dies, you'll probably regret the fact that you turned your back on hime. BUT, if you want to go through with this, just tell him how you feel over the phone first and if he asks to talk to you in person, agree to do so. I don't think there's anyway to keep him from flipping out, because news like this could be very hurtful. Just tell him how you feel, and DON'T let him interrupt while you're telling him, if he interrupts he'll object to what you're saying and you need to get your point across first.
2007-04-28 18:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by J. Rej 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely. My dad was similar and now that I'm an adult, my boyfriend is too.
The fact is dear that no matter how you put it, he's going to get angry about it. To avoid conflict with him, you have to somehow show this type of person that you're not afraid of them and can't be guilted by them. But you have to actually psych yourself out and believe it before you can be convincing.
If he's got a heart that you can access sometimes, then try getting him on the phone after you get back from seeing him and say, " Hey Dad, I really love you and I know you love me. I'm happy that we get to spend time together, but sometimes you get pretty aggrevated and I want to know if there's anything I can do to avoid seeing that side of you. I'm a kid and I don't realize what I'm doing to tick you off, but I'd like for our time visiting to not be crappy." Then the trick is: listen to his response and no matter what he says back don't get upset and say something you may regret later.
And don't back down. He may be the type that challenges your insecurities, so never flinch in his face and speak with confidence.
Good luck honey.
I hope for the best.
2007-04-28 18:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by censored_4_tv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter and send it return receipt requested.
Tell him why you chose to write instead of talking to him face to face. Tell him all the things that you need to tell him. Be respectful because he will analyze this letter to bits. Keep a copy for yourself, you might forget something that you told him and he will use it as a verbal battering ram against you.
2007-04-28 21:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by MissUnderstood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell you mother and let her help you with it.
But when it boils down to it, you have to tell him you don't want to visit him.
AND, you have to tell him why.
You can't get off that easy and not tell him why, he has a right to know.
He is the one that is your dad and paying child support and he needs to know your feelings.
He needs to know why from now on he has to send your mother money every month to take care of you but will not be able to be a part of your life.
2007-04-28 18:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him with another adult present or in a public place, and tell him exactly why. Often things like this are what motivates people to get help. And tell him, if he gets help with his temper, then you will start visiting him again.
2007-04-28 18:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by kmerian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he mistreats you, talk to your mom or a counselor. Something can be done about that. If he is really scary, it is your mom's responsibility to deal with him because she's the adult.
If he doesn't mistreat you, you should visit him because he's your father, even if he's not your favorite person.
2007-04-28 18:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you?
if you are over 18, you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself now.
however, if you are under age, then you can find a job or volunteer for some charity events and tell him you don't have time to visit much.
2007-04-28 18:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by myohmymyohmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure someone is there when you tell him such as an adult and explain to him why you dont want to see him and hopefully he will respect you and not blow off but if does an adult that you trust can be there for you
2007-04-28 18:10:10 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. It's called boundaries! Set your own time to visit him or make him come visit you.
2007-04-28 18:08:45 · answer #10 · answered by twest_dgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋