i was adopted and found my birth mother we got along at first and then things just went real bad she burned my birth certificate and my file and i cant get them again.she will not tell me the name of my father and i was wondering if its still possible to find him ,i dont know my heritage i have health issues and id like to know.any advice would be very helpful,and i could have brothers or sisters out there..thanks ..
2007-04-28 10:21:39 · 6 answers · asked by Clea B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry that things did not work out with your birth mom, I have went down that road as well, it hurts. Anyway, you can apply for a duplicate birth certificate. You can also, depending on your state, petition the courts to open your file for non-indentyfing info including health.....good luck
2007-04-28 13:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were planning an "independent" adoption- one arranged by birthparent(s) and adoptive parent(s), not by an adoption agency. If so, I don't think there is a way to get money back. Birthparents cannot sign a consent to adoption until after a child is born for good reasons, and the birthmother often does not realize the full impact of giving up her child until she gives birth. That is the point at which the child, and the biological bond they share, become more deeply real to her and the adoption decision has to be reconsidered. She might well be having feelings she never anticipated, and is struggling to figure out what is the best thing to do for the child and for herself. Can you have some understanding and compassion for her in this situation? I hope so, because then you will have taken a major step in your ability to be a good adoptive parent because you have empathy for the courage and loss and emotional struggles of a birthparent making a decision for adoption. I'm sorry your own hopes were shattered, and you have had financial loss. Have you considered other options? Apply at an agency, wait, consider the kinds of children waiting for homes, see if that lower risk adoption (through an agency) works better for you. Have you considered foster care? You can love and care for a child, contribute to the child's welfare, and some foster parents go on to adopt. Are there children already in your world-- distant relatives, for example, who could benefit from your help and interest in their welfare? Adoption is only one way to enjoy the satisfaction of helping a child grow up--- there are others. I hope your dreams for your own happiness in life come true.
2016-05-21 01:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live in the USA? I don't really know the laws in the USA but I know many American birthmothers (I am a birthmother myself). I just wonder how you bmother could have your BC and your files.
Did you put pressure on your bmom to tell you the name of your birthfather? That might be the reason she burned the papers. Many bmoms do not want the bfathers to get involved in the reunion with their bson/bdaughter.
The reasons for that are many, The bmoms may have been raped, they may not know who the bfather is, they will have trouble with their husband if the bfather shows up,
It will to hurtful to have anything to do with the bfather again as he may have behaved like a jerk when she got pregnant etc.etc.
Many reunions have periods with pullbacks from either the adoptee or the birthmother (mostly the adoptee). If you are persistent and write your bmom now and then I am sure you will sooner or later have a reconciliation with her.
But don't ask her of the birthfather if she does not want to inform you about him, you have to respect her in that.
2007-05-04 09:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Alice H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow. i feel really bad for you.do you know for sure she burned your b.c.? your parents may know something, like the hospital where you were born. that is a place to start. keep trying to contact your birth mother. tell her about your health issues. maybe she'll finally grow up and give you the info you're entitled to. as a last resort, you could contact a lawyer and ask if there is legally anything you can do to make her produce this info. best of luck to you.
2007-04-28 12:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the births deaths and marriages in your state tell them your story they can probably direct you.
2007-05-06 01:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats so sad but maybe she love you and dont want to let you go.
2007-05-05 16:01:41 · answer #6 · answered by cute cherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋