Do you think i have the right to be mad?

Question

Please read my situation and answer honestly.

Last weekend my boyfriend said i was controling, I know i am a little but some things i dont think im being unreasonable like drugs and such. Anyways last night we went to a dance together and he knew i dont dance, i went to hangout with my friends and have some fun. He said to me if i dance with him just once he will cancel his plans for tomorrow night and come hangout with me. I said to him i dont think you will. And he said I promise i will. So i danced with him more then once. Atleast 6 times. After the dance I asked him when are you coming over tomorrow? And he said im going to out with other people unless u have a problem with that? And i just said fine. Today he has gone out and doesnt plan on seeing me. Im Really frustrated with him. Last weekend he cancelled our plans for his friends, and i didnt get mad. But now that he has forgotten a promise im pretty ticked off. And he is know ignoring me and said i shouldnt be mad.

He acts as if cancelling our plans is no big deal. And when i confront him about it he says im way to controling.

Answer 1

i would be pissed off to the max! he PROMISED if you danced he would be with you....then backs out?
what a jerk! HE is the controlling one...
better straighten him out now, and dont let him get away with it or you will be sorry. he is using you and wants his way .....
so dont be a fool......he needs to show you more respect and if he loved you, he would want to be with YOU>......

Answer 2

That's funny how he calls you controlling, I didn't read anything in your description that made you controlling. What is going on is he's controlling you. Do you not see that? He's telling you come dance and I'll spend time with you, so you danced, did he spend time with you?? NO. He may not be controlling but he is definitely manipulating you.

Why are you waiting around for this loser?? You're probably sat home not doing anything while he's off having fun with his friends and probably not giving you a second thought.

You need to put him in his place. When you let a guy manipulate you basically you're giving him control, it's ok to lie to you, it's ok to treat you like crap and it's ok for him to disrespect you, which he's doing all three.

You need to make plans with your friends, you need to not return his phone call or answer immediately when he calls. Make him sweat, make him wonder where you are. Because if you're always available then he's never going to make an effort, why should he, you're like old reliable, he'll come and hang out with you when he can't get together with his friends or find anything better to do. Do you honestly want to be treated like that?? When you're not always available he'll start to get jealous and will make more of an effort to be with you. It's when you always make yourself available that guys lose interest quickly. He's lost interest in you. Even if you've got nothing to do when he asks you to do something, TELL HIM YOU'VE GOT PLANS, don't try to make it for another day, tell him you'll call him, then wait awhile.

Don't always be available anymore.

Good luck

Answer 3

Making ultimatums such as "I'll do this if you do that", is wrong. By the same token, Getting mad about anything is wrong. Dogs get mad. People get frustrated. Let him know you want to spend more time with him in a down to earth reasonable fashion.

You need to let him know that he's got his priorties confused. He knows that you don't dance so that should have been the night that he spent with friends. Then the next night the two of you could do something that you both enjoy.

Sure you have the right to feel any way you want. But remember the old saying "you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar".

Answer 4

it sounds like you guys have some communication problems. when he said he was going out with other people unless you had a problem, you should have said you did have a problem because he made a promise to you.
it also sounds like he's a bit of a loser, if he does drugs, would cancel plans with you to hang out with other people and doesn't respect your wishes (if you don't like things like dancing and drugs, that's your right)
maybe you need to be clear about what you want from the relationship. don't blame or nag him, just say "I want ____ and I don't feel like that is happening right now." Ask him what he wants from you. Maybe clarifying things will help. If not, dump him for someone who respects you and wants to be with you more than this guy.

Answer 5

You have the right to be sad/hurt, but not mad. The problem here, Sug, is you're manipulative and refuse to give into pressure, and refuse to compromise. Some men would put a girl like you on their knee for being so manipulative. I said some, not all! Ask yourself, why you don't dance. If you don't know how, then learn. Anyone can learn to dance. Ask yourself why you don't give into pressure and ultimatums. You should, in order to avoid getting hurt. Nobody in their right mind hurts or wants to get hurt. My advice is learn to dance,
change your attitudes and learn to compromise. Also never do anything hastily!

Answer 6

It seems to me that he's the one that is manipulatively controlling. If you don't dance then you don't dance, but he knew that you wanted to hang out with him. What he do, he got you to compromise yourself so that he not only received his dance, but got to hang out with his friends. Now im just speaking on this situation, I don't know the guy and it must be a reason why he thinks you're controlling, but from this situation he was wrong. You have a right to be mad, at yourself!! He done this to you before and when he asked you if you had a problem with him going out with other people you said, fine.

Answer 7

You said he forgot, so why don't you just remind him of his promise?

Oh okay, I see the rest of what you wrote. Well, if he knowingly is doing this, then you should definitely confront him and tell him he needs to shape up. It's not fair to you for him to continue to do this. However, only you can decide exactly how much you will put up with. You will know when enough is enough. You know what you deserve right? Now decide is he giving you what you deserve...do you deserve to be treated this way? If not, find someone else that will treat you better.

Answer 8

The only person you should be mad at is yourself. Why do you continue to hang out with a guy you do not share common interest in and don't even want to dance with just to make him happy? (if you don't like to dance, why go to a dance).

Answer 9

You not only have the right to be mad, but you have the right to dump him. Why would you want to stay with a guy that lies to you and does not want to be with you?

It's one thing to say 'i'm doing this with Bob sunday'...that is fine and healthy for a relationship. You should not see each other 24/7. But you don't toy with thing like 'oh I'll cancle my plans to be with you' or lie about it.

Answer 10

Hello, Forgive me honey but you deserve better ! Hold out for a gentleman..