Have u ever did this to anyone?

Question

Finally, I said to my good friend that I want a break bcoz I have a few things in my mind and that I have to clear up and she did let me go!
When I was friends with her, I used to feel like a burden on her, bcoz she used to made an effort to be in touch with me despite being very busy and I felt like I am becoming a burden on her so I told her to contact me only when she is free and when she started contacting me when she was free, I felt as she was using me bcoz she used to contact me only when she was free and I used to feel like a door mat!

But still I was confused, I didnt know if she is using me or is it a fault of mind so I thought of maintainig some distance.
I had a breif conversation with her and I told her one problem that I had with her, she gave me a geunine explanation which is accepted as true.
But I am missing her terribly, did I make a mistake asking for some space, she is emotional and I feel I have hurt her.
I feel I have lost something very precious!

Answer 1

I get the impression that you're using this person as an emotional crutch. It sounds as if you haven't clearly defined your own identity to yourself, and maybe need to spend some time alone to accomplish that, as a goal.

It's fine to have friends, as long as they aren't your main means of emotional support. Learn to be independent, and when your friends aren't around, you won't grieve so. You also won't agonize over whether or not you're spending too much or too little time with them.

Answer 2

Maybe the approach is all wrong. Maybe she felt like you were latching on too quick and made her contact with you as minimal as possible because you were always all over her. (too much kissing and hugging too soon perhaps?) Maybe you should try acting more like a gentleman and allow things to progress between you more slowly. The island of Hawaii took several thousand years and many volcanic buildups to become the beautiful place it is. One cannot logically expect a solid relationship to form instantly. People are not boxes of potatoe flakes. You can't just "add water" and expect to be allowed to manipulate them into the person you are looking for. She might be the one for you, but maybe you just want her to be. Be smart. Take a more exploratory approach to things. And maybe, just maybe, you said or did something that made her really worry about being with you. Maybe she is worried about your health condition and passing on HIV to her, or maybe it's something simple like a difference of religion or your mannerisms. Honor her with the courtesy of asking, and then be a man about things and accept her answer without throwing a temper-tantrum. Even if she seemed interested at first, she might have changed her mind, she may not be interested in you the same way you are in her anymore. If that's the case, remember how overcrowded this planet is and keep looking for the right woman to share your life with. And remember that she is still the same nice person you became interested in, treat her with respect still. It will most likely be returned. Peace.

Answer 3

You know the problem is that I don't know the girl, so I can't really help. But, if you're feeling like that.... well, the best I can do, is say "follow your heart." But also think with your mind. Make a decision, though it is sometimes hard to do. And give it some time. Maybe you should take a vacation, don't talk to anyone you know, and then come back and hopefully your mind will be cleared.

Answer 4

The problem might be you felt like she was keeping you too hot,not giving you the chance to miss her or want to call her because she was always calling.It was'nt you being a burden on her. When she stops calling like she used to, by your request you felt neglected. So, what you need to do is show just as much interest as her, that way both of you will feel wanted and happy.

Answer 5

Short answer to this is you realise you were wrong. Either get over it or get in touch and literally C R A W L. you hurt the person but hopefully will reaslise you have learned by your mistake and will lead to a more solid, understanding friendship for the future. Best wishes.

Answer 6

Well, honestly i think its okay that u ask someone to leave u alone for a bit. I guess ive been in a similar situation. U sign in2 Msn and someone talks to u, u like them but make an excuse to end the convo cos ur busy or cba arsed to talk to them. Its a different thing to ignore someone than to like tem but ask for space.

Answer 7

Of she was using you you did the right thing. Sometimes you still feel bad about it even if the other person treats you like crap but losing a friend is losing a friend and you still have that emotional attachment and loss even if it was the right decision to stop being friends with them.

Answer 8

Perhaps you have lost something precious. You can try to get her back but it won't be easy. Be prepared for the worse.

Answer 9

i think uv lost a very good friend their you do know they are hard to find . so come onmake up with her ye dont have to be with each other every minute give your frind a chance ok

Answer 10

Of course it depends on your age, but if you love her - go get her! Don't worry about the past - apologize for hurting her and get on with your lives! We learn from our experiences...