I need your honest opinion,on something?

Question

My b/f is 46 yrs old and he wets the bed,check this out not once or twice but once in a week,he is not on any kind of medication or drinks alcohol. he thinks that i don't know about it because he will gets up immediately and puts a bath towel on the wet spot,because of that am turned off,he wants to know y am not having sex with him.should i tell him the truth the reason y am not having sex with him. please give me an idea on what to say to him without hurting his feelings.thank u.

Answer 1

i would talk to him b/c obviously he may have a serious medical problem. right now it's not a/b the sex. there could be lots of problems like failing kidneys,prostate cancer,or diabetes. i'm not a dr. but when a man doesn't have control of his urine it's usually a medical issue. be kind and sensitive and tell him you're worried a/b his health and want to make sure he's ok. be gentle and supportive not negative,that will only make things worse. nothing's worse than a man whose pride has been hurt. i hope it isn't anything serious.

Answer 2

Jeez there was a time when you wet the bed yourself but do you think your parents stopped loving you because of it? What are you afraid of..that you will get it? It's a medical condition not a sexually transmitted disease. Believe it or not it may even be treatable but you can't do it for him by making him self conscious or nagging him about it. You open your mouth, traumatize him, it may mess him up for anyone else...he needs a better woman cause you aren't being supportive at all. Now everyone on the net that knows you can google your screename in the search engine and find all your questions and answers as well...so everyone will now know thanks to you. You have most likely embarassed and humiliated him to everyone that knows him. What an awful thing to do to someone.

Answer 3

I think that you should talk to him, mostly to find out if he has had this checked out by a doctor. If you really care about him, tell him that this is nothing to be embarrassed about and that you want to help. If you can't explain how you are feeling, you will never be comfortable. Don't sacrifice your comfort for someone else's because it won't make a healthy relationship. For me, even if he is just a friend, I would question what was going on for the medical aspect. Good Luck!

Answer 4

When I see the word "honest" in a question, I feel compelled to answer. Having said that, I sympathize with your husband. He is suffering from this more than you & more than you will ever know. I can't comprehend why you haven't asked him about this. He is desparate to talk about this, but he doesn't know how. He is ashamed & scaird you will reject him. But that's exactly what you did. You closed your eyes, ears & legs. Because you told us his age, I can say that he needs to have his prostate checked. He may also have "hyperactive bladder". These are treatable conditions! Talk to this man with sensitivity & understanding & work this out together. I would also reccommend counciling on communication skills for both of you......Please do this.

Answer 5

You might have to hurt his feelings, but you have to talk to him about this problem, and your thoughts concernig it.he might not be aware of why it's happening, even though he's thoughtful enough to put a towel over it. But some times men (I think women, too) drink more liquid (of any kind) than they should, then go to bed (wether late or not) and try to sleep longer than usual or even as long as usual, but when they have a feeling as if they're starting to go, they arn't always aware of it. But usually out of awareness they are able to stop it in time, get up and go before too late, or at least before completion. The simple solution is often, drink less liquid when the time to go to bed, is near. Or don't drink any.
On the other hand, some times it's a matter of drinking too much liquid at a resturant, during dinner, which might be a late dinner. But definitly discuss the matter with your bf, and maybe the two of you should see a doc. If it turns out to be deliberate, (although it generally isn't) then dump him.

Answer 6

He has a bladder control problem, some guys do at that age.
Be honest with him and tell him you know about it and want to help.
Talk him into going to a dr. and getting an examination, see what can be done to help him, he isn't doing it on purpose, and you have to know it has to be very embarrassing for him as well.
Take an active position and help the man, not sit around and prtend the problem is not there.

Answer 7

The next time he metions you never being turnned on, tell him that you hae noticed he's wetting the bed. It's a touchy situation, but he probably knows you know, you're sleeping in the same bed for God's sake! Speak with him about it offer support if the relationship is worth it to you.

Answer 8

Yes I believe you should tell him. Maybe he was born with this problem and should get it checked. There is I believe medication to control your bladder. Just ask him if there's anything wrong and if he doesn't tell you, you should let him know that you are aware of his issue and that you both can go to the doctor to get medication for it. Hope I helped!

Answer 9

right i use to wet the bed about once every 2 month and i just had a bladder infection. so just sit down with him and say i think you ought to go to the doctors because i think you may have a bladder infection. you'll both feel uncomfortable but isn't it Worth it? just do it as nice as possible and act understanding. tell him you had a Friend who use to do it or something to make him feel less uncomfortable because its not as uncommon as you think! Hope that helps!!

Answer 10

I would bring it up in a loving manner. Just explain to him that you would feel embarrassed, too and you want to help him try to find the root of the problem so it does not continue. Just be supportive and loving, he won't get his feelings hurt if he knows you are his support system. Good luck.