I live in Florida, the wedding is in New Jersey. I have helped her every step of the way in planning her big day. She mentioned to me last night her shower is Sunday. I was surprised to hear about it and she evidently heard my disappointment in my voice. She made the excuse only people from New Jersey were invited. I am truly hurt....am I wrong?
2007-04-28 07:59:58 · 20 answers · asked by goober 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
thats really messed up...... let them understand that if you were not invited at the same time as everyone else then you do not want to be a part of that party.
2007-04-28 08:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by john s 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Not really because she has little control over the one who is planning that shower. It could be however, that you could give her a shower of your own...and invite others that didn't come to this one. If you were left out,...so were probably others.
Sometimes you can go in with one or two friends and give one of your own....her mother and bridesmaids would still be invited again....but you could do something different, and she would appreciate it....you could do it a few days before the wedding, if you get there early.
Don't take it personally. Whoever planned it, made the decisions more than the bride....and they just figured you wouldn't want to come so far for a shower.
You also could send a gift to the shower....no one will ever turn that down....just ask her mother or someone who is giving the shower and if you could send a gift. That would be a really nice thing to do
2007-05-02 02:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by samantha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are your feelings.. so you are not 'wrong' to be hurt.. however it's rather silly to feel that way. Would you really have traveled all the way from Florida to New Jersey for a shower? I'm sure that the hostess only sent invites to people who she actually expected would be coming, and it's quite likely that there will be more than one shower... would you expect to be invited to all of them?
Relax.. don't blame your friend.. and look forward to the wedding! If you don't get invited to THAT.. you have a reason to be hurt!
2007-04-28 17:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was only polite that you recieved a coutesy invite, they knew you wouldnt be able to make the trip, but yes you should have recieved an invitation.
However, the bride did not commit this infraction the hostess of the shower did, so dont be angry with your friend. And its entirely possible that the hostess didnt send one thinking that it would look as if it was a gift grab instead of a polite gesture of inclusion.
You'll have to get over this, you cant change anything now. Just file it away for the time when you host a shower of your own for someone, now you know to include every single person.
2007-04-28 16:21:41 · answer #4 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she was being realistic. Can you make it from Florida to New Jersey for a shower on Sunday. Consider cost time distance etc. You may feel hurt but maybe she was just thinking of why invite you if you obviously cannot attend.
2007-05-02 13:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a bit rough on you that is for sure. It would be one thing if the shower was only for older women and there was a Hen's night for the young girls to all get together - but if this is the only celebration, then it is a bit mean.
Perhaps she was trying to save you money on travel and accomodation?? That could be a positive way to think about it??
Try to remember she is probably getting a lot of pressure from family and things who tend to forget who's wedding it is and what the wedding is for... she may have had directives to "keep numbers down" or something like that...
Chin up.
2007-04-29 02:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by Jodes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the bride usually gives the hostess a list of people to invite to the shower, so yeah, you might feel disappointed by not getting an invitation. Is she having another bridal shower in florida? are you going to the wedding? how are you getting there? are you 'in' the wedding or are you a 'convenient' assistant to her there in florida? yeah, you should feel insulted. I would.
2007-04-28 15:10:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm getting married march of next year ...i have fam moving to japan this summer. now i know that theres no possible way there coming back but never the less there will still be an invite in the mail for them . its the thought that counts. she doesnt sound like shes thought of you at all. you have every right to feel the way you do!!!
2007-04-28 15:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by ninamt01 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, you shouldn't. What she probably meant was that she didn't want to make you feel obligated to come since you live so far away. My family is going through something like that right now and really its all out of convenience. I'm not saying its right---they should have allowed you to make your own decision on coming, but don't take it the wrong way. I'm sure she didn't mean anything insulting by it.
2007-04-28 15:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by katmusic 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yes
2007-04-28 16:01:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way,
What kind of excuse is that?
She either forgot to invite you or chose not to.
Both would be insulting to you.
That is the sort of thing i couldn't forgive someone for
unless they had apologised before and given you an appropriate reason and explained it so I understood.
Especially as you helped her to plan it, God!
I am sorry for you.
2007-04-28 15:09:02 · answer #11 · answered by Dan 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋