Last night I was at a party and I met this girl her name's Alyssa. She's really amazing! She was sitting by herself at a table and seemed somewhat sad so, I decided to ask her to dance. She said yes. We talked a lot that night and we were walking I put my arm around her, and we were even holding hands. Things were great. The last song of the night came and she kissed me it was a perfect night...until after that....
She like jumped back and ran downstairs and sat down. I asked her what was wrong and she kept apologizing to me. Telling me she was sorry but she had just broken up with her current boyfriend and she wasn't exactly sure if they were even "broken up." She was crying. She told me how he treated her really badly was involved with drugs, wouldn't come to this party tonight and just started spilling her guts to me. It was kind-of weird.
She then said she doesn't want to lead me on and that things right not are VERY "complicated" in her life
(more to come)
2007-04-28 03:34:15 · 14 answers · asked by Albernino791 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She gave me her number & I text her asking her if she'd like to go out tonight with me and a bunch of other people she agreed.
But I'm very confused! I just asked her out on a date she said yes, but yet she's saying things are very complicated and she's not even sure she's broken up with her boyfriend! She told me she is looking for someone who will take her out and doesn't do drugs and isn't all about sex. I am that kind-of guy! The only problem is I really haven't dated any women before I guess because I've never met the right one.
what should I do?
what do you think about this girl?
2007-04-28 03:34:38 · update #1
Go out with her but... dont give into sexual temptation until her state of mind stabilizes. You dont want to get hurt or used.
2007-04-28 03:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you haven't really dated women before because you haven't met the right one. She told you already that her life is 'complicated' right now and she just broke up with her druggie boyfriend. You had a magical evening and she acts like she's the person who's looking for just the kind of relationship you're offering.
Why haven't you been dating lots of less-than-perfect girls? My fear for you is that you are so inexperienced that when you find someone like Alyssa, you expect so much from the relationship that she is going to be going from one bad thing to another.
You may overreact to attempts by her ex to get back in her life. She may be able to stay broken up with him without any help from you but you might try to play the 'white knight' and get yourself (and maybe her) hurt.
Then again, you might be perfect for each other and nothing unusual would ever happen. You seem naive and you may not be. She's bringing a lot of baggage - and it's not her fault. I'm only trying to point out the pitfalls since it was unclear what your question was about . You asked her out and she said 'yes' - it's just a first date so enjoy! Keep it low-key and for God's sake, get out there and date some less-than-perfect girls in the future!
2007-04-28 11:08:51 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk. talk. talk.
Be clear on what you both want and expect. If you want to wait to date one on one until she is sure she is "broken up" and clear on her goals, that would be a respectful thing to do.
Becoming her friend first will build a strong foundation for a longer lasting relationship instead of jumping into the sack right away. You are on the right track.
Any girl would love to have a respecting guy like you to love. Congratulations on the no drug thing. You will never know how they will affect your life down the road. Believe me, I am seeing those results now in others, 30 years after the fact. You are smart to stay clear and you will continue to be smart because you will not have damaged the one thing that will carry you through the rest of your life - your brain.
Good luck with this little sweetie.
Be honest, be kind, be open, and be true to yourself. You will soar far.
2007-04-28 10:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by mim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, things sound crazy tell you what friend you go out with this girl and have fun she's not your girlfriend yet but once you become bf and gf make sure this guy is long gone because sounds like she still cares for him and if he told her He will quit drugs and treat her better she will leave you in a heart beat try not to get too attached.
2007-04-28 10:47:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she really needs your help. You might want to just keep it as friends 'til the boyfriend thing is done and the two of you are sure about taking it any further. But a LOT of relationships start that way, best to take it slow and help get her out of that unhealthy relationship! The world needs more guys like you!
2007-04-28 10:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by gmoney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't suggest doing anything until she finalizes the break up with her bf. Even though he seems like a jerk, she'd be cheating and you'd be helping. Not only that, but what if she returns to her bf and you're left out. Not to mention that even if she chooses you, 99% its rebound.
You deserve better than a girl who's mixed up about her feelings. Cut the ties and find a girl who's single and 100% committed to you and not just using yout to lick her wounds.
2007-04-28 10:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that she's interested in you. She might have agreed to go out because it is kinda like a group date. My only advice is to be careful not to fall for her until the problems with her bf are solved because you could get your heart hurt.
2007-04-28 10:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A group date was a great idea- it puts less pressure on her. Try to take things slow and go at a pace she is comfortable with. I hope things work out for you.
2007-04-28 10:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by terasa425 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you already asked this question and should be patient and wait for people to answer the question the first time you asked it.
About the girl... You should probably keep your distance. If she still has a boyfriend you don't want to get involved.
2007-04-28 10:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by oxymoron1992 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think she has an abusive boyfriend and is scared of what he will do once he finds out...i could be wrong, though
i think she wants out and away from him and finds you attractive...
i also think she doesn't want to appear to be 'easy' by going from one to the other (him to you)
be there and support her, if you want her...just see if you can get her away from her boyfriend...obviously she is not happy with him and wants away or she wouldn't be there at this party with you
2007-04-28 10:40:31 · answer #10 · answered by uranus2mars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋