How to handle bullying?

Question

When is it appropiate to teach children to fight back? I am now 65 and am raising my 10 year grandson. I was bullied unmercifully when I was his age so I know how he feels.

I enrolled him in Taeknowdo about 9 months ago and he has done amazingly well. And a very strange thing happened. The bullying stopped after a couple of well placed kicks to the groin. I do wish I had known how to do that at age 10.

Bridgett, ty for the kind comments. Taekwondo teaches respect of others. I highly recommend it. I enrolled my grandson hoping he would learn to defend himself appropriately but i had no idea that the "bullies" would respect him. They now want to be like him. Amazing turn around.

Answer 1

This is a tough question to answer. My 15 year old son has been bullied. Just last week he was walking home from his friends house when he was jumped by 4 unruly teens. Unfortunately if we call the police he will get targeted again, but if we don't call they get away with it. Taekwondo sounds like a great idea, We have taught our son to be aware of his surroundings, don't feed into the bullies comments. They will stop if they are not getting anything from him. Sounds like your grandson is doing well. Keep up the good work.

Answer 2

Messing with their heads is always fun, and usually more effective. The only thing is, you gotta be precise with it, or it's worthless.

Such as, talking a bully down because you know what he's doing it for, be it low self-esteem, or whatever, and get it stuck in his head he only makes a fool of himself when he tries to be all tough and pushy on others. If it works it means any time he decides to try something, he'll stop on think that everyone's gonna look at him like they pity him rather than fear him, or so, and that'll be a huge turn off in regards to it.

Unfortunately, there's people out there who you simply can't fight with words, so it ends up getting physical no matter what you say, especially when it gets into that " flaunt your macho " crap.

Answer 3

The amazing thing about martial arts is that children are also taught respect for the individual. They learn when it is and is not appropriate to use such skills. You should be given a HUGE pat on the back for enrolling your grandson.

Answer 4

times are different than they were years ago...years ago, someone would bully someone else and the most it would result in was a fist fight and a paddling in the office...most likely everyone became friends again afterwards...

however, things are different today, this isnt *Leave It To Beaver* - that trip to the office will not legally result in a paddling, both kids will probably be suspended whether they both threw punches or not, and the bully gets off pretty easy, in my opinion...plus he learns that abusive behavior will not get him more than a slap on the wrist and a lecture, so he may decide to do worse later, like bring a gun into the next fight....the bully gets bragging rights and all of the other kids know that the one who got bullied is an easy target and all that he will do is *tattle tale*...making him likely to get more/worse trouble...

i think that all children need to learn self defense and to know that it is ok to defend themselves. of course, that does not mean to fend off a bully that is calling you names with a punch in the face, but if he punches you, and you feel that you are in a situation that you cant easily get out of...i feel you are well within your rights to punch him back. i think that you should tell your grandson to make all attempts that he can to walk away and settle it peacefully, even if he gets punched once, still try to walk away...but if it happens again, i think it is time stand up and teach that bully a lesson.

its your job to protect your child :) but when he is out of your site, he needs to know that it is ok to protect himself. good luck!

Answer 5

i can relate to the bullying. im in highschool and have endured it since preschool (REALLY long time). i was always told to just ignore it. last year (freshman year) it hadnt stopped. i was getting threatened to get beaten up (again) in gym class when i cold-****** the .....'jerk' for lack of a nicer term. needless to say, he left me alone all the rest of that semester and the one after too. then he left the district this year first semester. ive never been in any self-defense classes. i'd say awesome job to your grandson. i never had any help with it, so i just had to learn as i went. the taekwondo can also be used for intimidation purposes, along side strength and self defense. but he did very well done.