Very VERY VERY UPSET!!!?

Question

I have a boyfriend and we have been seeing each other for a year & a half now. We've been having "problems" lately that aren't getting ANY better!

We go out at most once a month. My boyfriend smokes pot and has done shrooms as well (once) but he says he would do it again. I smoked pot with my boyfriend twice I'm not a big "fan" of pot smoking and after that all he ever wanted to do with me is smoke. Lately he has been "claiming" he has no money to pay for the both of us so the last two times we went out which were twice this month I had to pay for myself! He used to ditch me to smoke pot though he hasn't done that as much recently. Tonight was a very VERY important night to me it was my cousin's wedding and I wanted my boyfriend to be there with me. Instead...he went out and got drunk with his buddies at "another party." He always wants to just lay around and do NOTHING! And when I choose not to have sex he gets almost "angry." and like in a bad mood. (to be continued)

Last summer he had a party in which i was in tears begging him not to smoke pot that night. I was crying I said i would feel REALLY uncomfortable being there with him smoking pot. He told me he wasn't going to let me ruin HIS night and wouldn't allow me to come to his party. He has NEVER brought me to any parties he has attended because he said there would be weed there so he was just looking out for me. Back in December a man pulled a gun on me while I was in his car and when I called my boyfriend to come pick me up he made me PAY HIM $5.00 because he had no gas and then said that I should have just got back in the car with the guy and I was overreacting about the whole situation. He doesn't call me as often as he used to, everything seems to be about HIM!

Anyways now I know a lot of this has been negative but there are some good things about him too. He always sticks up for me when people are putting me down and whenever I'm sad due to something other then him he's always there

He will listen to anything that I tell him and won't judge me based upon it. He's not judgmental at all. He's kind he's helped me pass my courses I'm taking and without him I would have failed. He's spent over an hour sometimes helping me. He makes me my favorite meal almost every time I come over and every time i need a hug he's there to give me one!

I apologize for the length of this I'm just VERY UPSET!

well after him not showing up for the wedding it really drew the line for me. He told me he hates weddings didn't feel like going and didn't show up! Instead is out getting drunk at some guys house!! That drew the line for me! I was almost in tears because this was my cousin's wedding and I was dateless
(I had to leave early from it by the way) well I met this man at the wedding...who seems almost "too perfect" and i ended up having a pretty passionate make-out session with this man. I don't think if i was in my right state of mind I would have done something like this i was just so upset. Another REASON i was so upset was because I'm moving 2 hours away next year and my boyfriend said he feels that there is no point in putting a lot of "effort" into this relationship if I'm moving next year. So all of that lead me to have a very passionate make-out sesssion with this man.

The man's name is Steve. He's really nice kind guy he doesn't do drugs swims and lifeguards during the summer for some extra cash along with his job. The only "strange thing" is he has NEVER had a girlfriend nor went out on a date and he's 20! I'm not sure what to do! And I'm not sure how to tell my current boyfriend that I cheated on him! PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

I think you need some serious counseling.

Answer 2

Okay sweety its okay

This is why pot is so bad, it takes away all motivation to do anything at all. I've seen it happen too many times now. No motivation seems small at first but as you've just demonstrated it gets worse and worse.

This relationship won't change unless he gives up pot, which he doesn't look like he's going to do any time soon. He might be great in every other way but the fact is pot is doing this damage to him now and its not going to go away any time soon.

Get out of that relationship and find a guy who doesn't do drugs. Find a guy who'll want to spend time with you in a sober untoxicated state. Find a guy who'll be with you at important events like a wedding, find a guy who will come and get you from a horrible place just because you're his girlfriend. My boyfriend if I rang up would come running, even if I gave him no reason at all. You need guy who'll be able to do that for you too. You deserve no less.

Make a list of things you need in a relationship, put no drugs right up the top, it never ever EVER works out.

Answer 3

Ok. First of all, make yourself a nice cup of tea. Sit down. Relax.

Better??

Ok. Your boyfriend, regardless of the "nice" things he's done is a gold-plated SOB. And I thought that BEFORE he made you pay $5.00 to come and get you after you were mugged. WTF is that??

Secondly, This Steve guy?? You did NOT cheat on your boyfriend. You needed comfort...he was there, the afore-mentioned gold-plated SOB was not. His loss.

So what if Steve has never had a girlfriend?? Sounds like he's been too busy. And what does it matter to you anyway? If you're moving 2 hours away, and your current fella has started distancing himself from you, again, it's his loss.

So. Kick the current beau to the curb. Go out, have a good time, whether it's with the lifeguard or not, and get on with life!!

What a jerk. You're gonna do fine, Kitten. Just don't let any other man treat you so disrespectfully! How dare he! Oh, now I'M pissed!!

Hugs & Kisses
Sandy

Answer 4

Just tell him that you want to break up. I know that he has some good in him but he smokes pot and he will do it again. It will ruin his life and it will change his life.

I can totally understand how you feel about your bf. One incident can change everything and ruin the relationship. My last relationship ended because my ex didn't turn up for my aunt's funeral. It was even worse than your case! We had an argument over it and he even insulted me. I was so hurt by his actions that I didn't feel like loving him anymore.

I'm glad that you now have another great guy in your life! Its good that he doesn't have a gf before. You can be his first love! Think about that. Isn't it great??? Hahaha...Enjoy your new relationship! I hope you will be able to find happiness.

Answer 5

Okay, you seemed to have alot going on here but I will get right to it. You are unhappy, and although this guy has some good qualities, his bad ones seem to outweigh the good by far. It is time for you to go bye bye, especially since he has made it clear that you are not a priority to him, and once you move he will not be there for you. As far as the new guy, it is strange that he has not had a girlfriend but, you may want to see what he is about. I do feel that the lack of experience on his part may not meet your needs. Right now you need to find a guy who knows how to treat a woman and is ready to meet you on your level. Good luck because it is hard out ther playing the dating game.

Answer 6

Let me just say that you need to get away from this dude. He is headed down a dangerous pathe and will drag you down with him. He is a "pot-head" and I know from experience that area lazy, and never want to do anything and their temperment is terrible. If he has already done shrooms, chances are he will begin to do the harder stuff as well, like meth, coke, maybe even crack. Of course he may not have any intentions on doing those things, but no one ever does. TRUST ME........You have to get away from him. He will wind up being a junkie unless he puts this stuff to an end.

Answer 7

this one is a no brainer....drop the pothead loser, you have absolutely no future with a immature jerk like that. you will always take second place behind drugs in his life. today it's still pot, what will he graduate to next ?
don't make this decision based on having met Steve, make it based on self respect. don't tell the jerk a thing about the make out session, it's none of his business. do you know everything he does while he's stoned at the parties he attends without you ? Steve or no Steve, put this behind you and move on with your life. there are plenty of Steve's in the world...good luck.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have been through alot..But you need to go with your heart..Things happen..My opinion is,,If he really cared then he would try a little more..He is not willing to sacrifice his pot for you then you need to do what is best for yourself..In a relationship it takes two to make it work..And you making out was a bad thing because it sounds like to me he was trying to get what he wanted by saying what you wanted to hear..If you really like this new guy then you will take it slow and not give in so easy..In any relationship it takes time to build..It takes time to fall in love..And it takes time to fall out of love..it just cannot happen in one night..

Answer 9

I skimmed most of your long long question. OBVIOUSLY you need to dump your loser bf. All you have to do is say hey I cheated on you and I would like to break up with you. Then you never go back to him. Be with Steve at least he isnt a junkie alcoholic who doesnt give a damn about you.

Answer 10

OMG+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Answer 11

You should be very upset with your self.

Your friend has shown his true colors & where you stand in his life. He will never be the person you would truly like him to be.

Get over it & move on.