My husband and I are friends with two other couples, A and B. Sometimes couple A will invite couple C on outings without asking if it's okay with us or couple B. The problem is that couple A is the only couple that gets along with C - the rest of us can't stand them! Is there any (polite) way we can ask that couple A stop including couple C?
2007-04-28 02:27:00 · 12 answers · asked by daisykateybug 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Honestly, you have multiple choices here. There is you guys, the other couple B. Why don't you guys hang out without couple A sometimes?
If either of you guys are having the event or doing the inviting, then yes you have every right to explain to them. I would tell them that you enjoy their company but sometimes find 8 people to be too large of a group. And when this other couple is invited, you've noticed that couple B doesn't particularly make conversation with couple C and that couple A's time is completely monopolizes with couple C. Sometimes you feel after one of these events that you really didn't get a chance to talk to them and wish sometimes they wouldn't invite couple C.
They may not invite couple C quite as often that way.
However--if couple A is doing the inviting and the events--you don't have any say. If it's their party they can do what they want to.
But if you or couple B is hosting, then you could politely inform them that you invited them to see them and prefer that they not invite anyone else without asking first.
With your question, it is really difficult to tell who is being rude here. If they are inviting people without asking, or if that is the way it always is with your group--does everyone invite other couples whenever they want? If so, there is no reason why that couple would have to get their choices approved when no one else does.
Also, is there a reason you dislike couple C? If they are just annoying, you may just have to deal--but if their behavior is seriously disturbing--just pull the couple A aside and explain to them that while you understand they are friends with that person and recognize that couple C needs their friendship, you don't like being around them. They should respect your request.
2007-04-28 03:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If couple A or couple C is planning the outings, and you are simply invited along with couple B, then there's absolutely nothing you can do to remedy the situation - short of deciding not to attend outings that either of the couples have planned.
However, if you are planning the outings, then you can speak with couple A. Just tell them you'd like to plan an outing just for couple A and couple B, and you notice there's a lot of tension when couple C comes along. If couple C appears for the outing, then it is couple A that has been rude, and you'll just have to determine whether you want to maintain that friendship.
However, if couple B is planning the outing, if they indeed feel the same way, they'll have to be the ones to approach couple A and ask that couple C not be invited.
2007-04-28 11:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by JenV 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can have complete control over the event is by hosting the event--that is, inviting couple A and B to dinner (or whatever it is) at your expense. That should make couple A think twice before inviting others (assuming they have any sense at all)
2007-04-28 12:31:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might (gently) tell A that the rest of you just really don't get along with C. That you would prefer if C not join you.
Now if couple A invites you to an invite and also C then you just have to suck it up and be grown up about it.
2007-04-28 09:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by LX V 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop inviting couple A to events. They will get the picture.
2007-04-28 09:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them! Say, "Excuse me Mr and Mrs A, I have to be honest with you, I don't care much for Mr and Mrs C, so we would appreciate it if you didn't bring them along when we invite you out with us. If you can't respect that then we will have to stop inviting you."
To easy. When dealing with adults sometimes it isn't even about polite or sugar and spice, sometimes you just have to be honest and hope for the best.
2007-04-28 10:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Miss B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like something from Junior High. You're adults, try to behave like them. You need not bond with Couple C but just try to be social when they are around. I'm thinking, given your childish attitude, that Couple A prefers C to you.
2007-04-28 12:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have a real reason to dislike C, such as their morals clash with yours, or they put you in danger, or offend you, then say something to A. Explain that you like to decide the guest list at your events. Suggest they make their own plans with C.
If you just think they're annoying, get over it, they may need your friendship more than you realize.
2007-04-28 09:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its you that's not getting the message that couple A is trying to send.
2007-04-28 09:36:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to couple A , and tell them the truth.
2007-04-28 09:31:14 · answer #10 · answered by iamlgnd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋