Me and my BF have been together for almost 6 years. I'm 26 & he is 31. He has never made it a point to let me meet his friends. In all of the time we have been together I have only met some of his friends once a few years ago because we bumped into them when we were out somewhere together. He didn't even introduce me. I also know he has a lot of chick friends too. I haven't met any of them either. When he hangs out with his friends I am never invited along even though they bring their girlfriends along too sometimes. It didn't bother me so much at first cause the last few years I have been so busy with going to college full time and working full time that I barely had time to myself. I've asked him several times if I could meet his friends and he always says maybe next time or I just want to hang with them by myself. Is this normal? He's met all of friends. What do you guys think? Any advice would be great.
2007-04-27 17:42:56 · 22 answers · asked by carrie s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is married or lives with some other lady. He is hiding something. And the fact you havent caught onto this before now astounds me.
2007-04-27 17:46:18 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to where you said "It didn't bother me so much at first cause the last few years I have been so busy......". The relationship developed into what you wanted and he has been happy with status quo. Now you are not so busy and wanting the relationship to change. This does not suit him because he was happy how things were.
There is a school of thought starting to emerge as to where a person who is very busy will accept a 'okay' relationship because it really does not require the time committment for it to survive. Perhaps this is what has happened here, only you can answer the question.
For 6 years this man has been able to have the perfect 'life' of having his girlfriend and his friends without any of the usual complications ie friends not liking you, you not liking some of his friends. Or, everyone liking each other and then they become our friends instead of 'his' friends.
You need to sit down and talk about what has been happening for the past 6 years? And what expectations you both have of the relationship now.
If you are both going through confusion as to what is happening see a professional relationship counsellor. One thing I do know is that the 'male of the species' do not like changing the rules when everything was okay as it was.
Good luck, hope this helps a bit.
2007-04-27 18:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
flow lower back to the place you mentioned "It did no longer worry me lots on the initiating reason the final few years I even have been so busy......". the dating developed into what you needed and he has been happy with status quo. Now you're no longer so busy and wanting the dating to alter. this does not greater healthful him by using fact he became into happy how issues have been. there's a school of concept beginning off to become to the place a individual who's extremely busy will settle for a 'ok' dating by using fact it fairly does not require the time committment for it to stay to tell the story. in line with probability it fairly is what has occurred right here, in straightforward terms you are able to answer the question. for 6 years this guy has been waiting to have the suited 'existence' of having his female chum and his acquaintances with not one of the often going on problems ie acquaintances no longer liking you, you no longer liking a number of his acquaintances. Or, all of us liking one yet another and then they grow to be our acquaintances somewhat of 'his' acquaintances. you may desire to take a seat and communicate approximately what has been going on for the previous 6 years? And what expectancies you the two have of the dating now. while you're the two dealing with confusion as to what's going on see a expert dating counsellor. one element i be attentive to is that the 'male of the species' do in comparison to changing the regulations whilst each thing became into ok because it became into. good success, desire this facilitates somewhat.
2016-10-13 23:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he does not want you to meet his friends for some reason. No..that is not normal especially since you have been with him as long as you have. Has he let you meet his family? Maybe he is afraid that if you meet his friends someone will tell you something that he does not want you to know. Sit down and have a serious talk with him and ask him why this is and tell him that you would like to share his life with him and since his friends are part of his life that you would like to meet them and go with him when he spends time with them.
2007-04-27 17:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd be wondering if he wasn't proud of me, was cheating on me (i.e. "has a lot of chick friends") or if he was hanging with hoodlums or all of the above. At any rate this is not a healthy relationship girl. From one girl to another, get out of this relationship. He sounds like he's hiding something.
2007-04-27 17:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by The_Juniper_Tree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not normal... maybe if it were six months or stretching it a year.. but after six years and he still hasn't integrated you into his life?
To be honest, I'd seriously ask him what the problem is after six years. Does he not want anything further? Is there some other reason?
Sounds fishy to me.
2007-04-27 17:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by DSatt57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing now what I didn't know then, when the gf shows up at a social gathering with his friends, she'll develop opinions of his friends. Usually not good ones. That's when the friends start developing this sense of negative vibe with her. The friends start hanging out less and less, until all you have left is each other. He will be friendless, and you will be the one to blame.
2007-04-27 17:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not normal at all. It doesn't sound like he is going to change either. I don't want to be cliche' and say "leave him" but, honestly can this really make you happy the rest of your life.
2007-04-27 17:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by silent*scream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to quote Chris Rock here. Ladies: if you've been dating a man for four months, and you haven't met any of his friends, YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND.
2007-04-27 17:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, not normal. he is hiding something and is afraid his friends might "let the cat out the bag" set up one day a week that he goes with "his friends" and tell him u you want to go to, but change the day every week. sorry, but there is something weird about that
2007-04-27 17:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by alredy_t8kn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋