im 12 and so sad. sometimes i feel like i cant go on. people ask me if im gay and im not and it really hurts. And i hate to snitch or tell on people. please help me!
2007-04-27 16:38:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
I understand how you feel. People can be really cruel to others and I know that you take what they say to heart. If you are concerned about your feelings, it never hurts to talk to a therapist. Speak to a trusted teacher, adult, or your parents/guardians about seeing a professional. I've been seeing a therapist and they help me sort out my thoughts, make sense of the way I feel or the way that people talk to me and give me a space to rant. It's really wonderful and it helps with the blues.
For now, concentrate on blocking out their comments. By reacting to them, you are fueling their fire. They want to get a rise out of you. If you don't say anything or walk away, they won't get what they want (which is to bug you). I know that it can feel upsetting, but these people have nothing better to do than pick on others and make them feel bad. They feel insecure and the only way that they can feel better about themselves is if they make someone else unhappy.
Also, being gay is never a bad thing. It's only when people use it in a derogatory (mean) way that it becomes hurtful. You know who you are and all the wonderful talents and skills you have to offer. They have yet to realize it.
Hold on, okay? Things will get better.
2007-04-27 16:47:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like a big problem now, but in a few years this WON'T be a big deal.
Now... To address the problem. If you want to turn jerks into friends, you need to always have a sense of humor. This will over-ride any fault that you have. People like somebody who can laugh at themselves, and don't be afraid to take a shot back at them. Learn some cool come backs and use them. Nothing too insulting though.
Don't be depressed. You are too young for that. The best way to solve a problem is to get through it. I believe that you can.
Here is a big thing... don't start out trying to take on a whole group. Kids are the meanest in large groups. Get to know each of them one on one, then as you become a little more familiar with them, you can deal with a few of them at a time. I have a feeling though, that if you get to know them individually, the will pick on you less.
Also, keep an eye out for nice things you can do for people. Most people do appreciate that and they won't be able to tease you as easily. Also, smile a lot.
Biggest thing though....
If you aren't gay and you know you aren't gay, they why let it bother you? You need to believe in yourself. Know that you are cool, funny and fun to be around and that if someone doesn't like that... it's too bad. It's all about perception, and if you don't see yourself in a good light, nobody else will.
Good luck and stay strong. I KNOW you can be a BMOC.
2007-04-27 16:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by wscarpelli@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a counselor, I can say first that it's never worth taking your own life over! Second, find people in your life that you can talk to. Parents are a good first step, but if you can't go to them, talk to a friend, a teacher you trust, a school counselor, and tell them about the problems you've been having. I'm sure there are a lot of people in your life that care about you and would help in a heartbeat! Talk to someone, and if you think it's really depression, seeing a doctor is probably a good idea. Also, there are lots of youth crisis centers all over the united states. You can google them to see what's in your area!
2007-04-27 16:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by HMBreest2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate, the same thing happened to me when I was twelve. In fact, middle school was a living hell. I dreaded every day, when a new nightmare of abuse for me would begin. (yes, lesbian was one of the terms they used...and no I am not a lesbian) Luckily, I got older...in college, everyone accepted me for who I was. Now, I am successful, happy, and people treat me with respect. That will NEVER happen in middle school where everyone is so immature and cruel. You need to understand that this WILL get better. You also need to understand that you do NOT have to accept abuse. Abuse is wrong, and you must involve an adult. Please tell your parents. They will stand up for you. You do not have to "snitch" on anyone, just tell them what is going on. Ask them to help you. They will help. Also, tell your school counsellor. The people who are abusing you need to be taught how to relate to other people...they are clearly very cruel and immature. Please tell someone, you do not need to be a victim. I am sorry for what you are going through and I really feel for you.
2007-04-27 16:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by greengo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are to young to be depressed but, other kids can be cruel to the point of depression. Is your home life ok?? Other kids just don't understand how they can be so cruel instead of being understanding of other peoples feelings. Are you not able to get a girlfriend at this time??If not don't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about what other people think and spend all your extra time doing homework or something to get your mind off of other people because you are not going to be around these people forever just remember that People who tease other people usually have problems of there own deep down and unknown to other people and some are just plain cruel. Try volunteer with older people at a nursing home or something and you can talk with them about stuff or you could just find a hobby in something that you like to do just to get your mind off of the stuff at school, like I said you do not have to be around these people forever.
2007-04-27 20:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through depression when i was about 12 as well, but for a different reason than what you are going through. I found that talking to an adult about it, and venting my feelings to them really made me feel better. Don't be afraid to tell someone that youre upset about something, because they can maybe really help you. :)
2007-04-27 18:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by Shelly H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, All you have to do is be social. Sociality solves everything. You just needa go to someone and say "Hey what's up" anything that will start a conversation. So if people keep asking you if your gay, tell them straight out and say "no i am not" so they know that it hurts your feelings.
2007-04-27 16:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you would be hurt that someone things that you're gay -- anymore than someone who confuses your name and calls you Paul if your name is Frank.
Its just a label.
Your school though, has counselling resources. Anyone who is depressed is helping themselves by seeking some type of professional assistance.
Good luck.
2007-04-27 16:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bless your heart, kids are cruel...but it does get better. Don't show weakness if you can help it. If you act like it doesn't bother you it will take all the fun out of it for them. And the next time they ask if your gay say"why do you keep asking me that...do you need a date?" that will shut them up! Hang in there!
2007-04-27 16:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by GI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to a teacher or counsellor. just remember that your only 12 life goes on thats how it works, some people are just mean, just ignore them. if there harrassing you then it isnt snitching, just tell someone. just remember you got a whole life ahead of you.
2007-04-27 16:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋