I am 27 years old my boyfriend who is 25 is refusing to live with me because his parents would not approve...Um is it just me or is it 2007. For that matter I feel that you should live with the person that you plan on marrying. Isn't that a good test to find out if you are really going to be compatible in the long run? his parents have this hold on him that is ridiculous. Is this a sign? I am so frustrated!! He won't listen to me.
2007-04-27 16:34:30 · 11 answers · asked by Romosta 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe I should add a few things to my question. We have been together for basically 3 years. I am working at a job I hate. ans through that job I have an apartment. He is in a very stressful living situation with a older lady and he is miserable. I am going back to school and need to get a different job. He can not afford to live alone neither can I. So it comes down to helping one another. Yes we have had sex. So if it is morals.... that wouldn't make sense....right... It's hard to explain. My opinion doesn't seem to matter. Shouldn't my and my parents opinions matter? I am not saying my parents would love us to live together but they understand the situation.
2007-04-28 04:20:12 · update #1
he is a mommas boy... he is too old to not be making his own decisions.....i mean come on dude!!!
let him know that it's either you or the highway......and mean it because if you let him get away with this, it will only get worse.... and they will be running your business, even after you marry him...
2007-04-27 16:38:19 · answer #1 · answered by Vanessa ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, he is probably showing you a lot of respect. It may be 2007, but there are people in this world who still have old fashioned respect for good old fashioned morals.
I will go out on a limb here, and guess that you have not had sex with him either. This "hold" that you speak of, if sex has not occured, is actually living up to the respect that he was possibly taught by his parents. Sounds like you actually have a potential for a man who will cherish you to the end of life.
Living with someone in todays age doesn't prove any ability to have a relationship, only that the two people are more willing to sleep with one another without the benefit of marriage.
If sex has not entered your relationship, he really does respect you, and is not willing to give in to the temptations that would be presented if living with you.
The test for compatibility is actually called dating. when dating you get to find things out like responsibility, honor, trust, friendship, integrity, and many other character traits.
I wish you both the best, and hope that I am on the right track with my thoughts.
2007-04-27 16:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every one of the question you asked is a highly personal thing. It's really what you think, and what your boyfriend thinks. (note, I did not say, it is BETWEEN you and...)
Apparently, it is not necessary a good idea or bad to live together before marriage. I have seen a study where divorce rate was no different between two groups.
I agree as much with you that at age 25, he should have his own opinion and act on his own accord.
2007-04-27 16:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he may be using his parents as an excuse for his own morality. He is not comfortable moving in with you, the year has little to do with anything. He may not think that living with you first is proper, and if that is the case, you need to appreciate him for telling you that it is a problem. If you can't accept his judgement then why bother getting married.
Not living with him doesn't lessen the relationship at all.
2007-04-27 16:51:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is 2007, but I do think you should wait until you are married to live together, it will be so much sweeter to come home from the wedding and make life together at home.
His parents aren't being ridiculous, they're doing what they think is best for you and him.
2007-04-27 16:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by raysgirl15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has different feelings about that issue so I would respect his feelings if I were you. I would like that someone respected their parents and wanted to keep a good relationship with them. If you're planning on staying with him and working through everything why not marry him, but only when you're both ready.
2007-04-27 16:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by Randy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two schools of thought when it comes to moving in with the person you "hope" to marry...
1. Move in with each other, get to know each other, and see if you could handle all ways/habits/quirks of the other person for the rest of your life.
2. DON'T move in with each other, because anything too premature in a relationship will cause it to fail/not work out in the long run.
I think you hinder the growth of a relationship when you move too fast. If there are any doubts with both parties, then HELLO!!!!!! He's NOT READY. Because if he was TRULY ready, no one could convince him otherwise.
Chill out. Let the relationship blossom. Are you in a hurry? because you don't want to push him away.
;)
2007-04-27 16:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by Valerie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had no choice but to move in with my now husband when we were dating, and his parents did not really approve, but I had no other choice, and yes, I think living with someone is very important before marriage. My sister in law is miserable, they lived together AFTER marriage. You really think you know someone, but you have no idea until you live with that person.
2007-04-27 16:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by rain_galefer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you,it's a good test before marriage. If he's not going to live his own life, be prepared to always having to go through his parents if you two decide anything in life.
2007-04-27 16:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion is that your bf shares his parents; values and also thinks that living together is not appropraite before marriage. he is using their approval as an excuse. he is entitled to his opinion and values. if your values do not match up in this area, then it is time to move on to someone who shares in your values.
2007-04-27 17:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by magnolia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋