How do I handle my 9 year old son correcting my parents for swearing frequently when they are speaking?

Question

They use profanity constantly in everyday speech.We don't swear in our home,or allow it. My son loves his Grandparents but after a time just blurts out " Could you stop Swearing?". Everyone gets silent for a while then nothing changes. Am I being disrespectful to my parents for not stopping him? I teach him to speak up for himself. I had frequently asked and reminded them we don't like that language when he was a baby and that didn't change anything either.

Answer 1

GOOD FOR HIM, and shame on your parents, I would tell them if they cannot control their language in front of their grandchild, then they can no longer see him, potty mouth is contiguous

Answer 2

LOL I would love your kid.

I think at this point, you've gotten him to a good place. Now would be a good time to explain "different rules in different houses", if he already doesn't clearly understand that. Basically, he's responsible for what comes out of his mouth. In his family, there is no swearing, because it is bad, disrespectful, rude, etc. Even though you don't like it, Grandma and Grandpa seem unable to control their mouths when they are around your family. They're old enough to be firmly stuck in the habit of swearing. What you can do, though, is to tell your son that it's just fine to tell his grandparents that he is uncomfortable around them swearing, but that while he's visiting their home, there's not much else he can do. In these circumstances, it would probably be better for him to try to learn to let the swearing slide when possible, simply because if he can learn to accept that part of his grandparents, visits to see them can be a little more enjoyable, rather than uncomfortable. Let him know that this does not change the rule that HE is to keep a clean mouth, but even though you and I feel like he's right, there's just not a lot that can be done about Grandma and Grandpa's language.

When you're talking to him, I would talk in a way that lets him know that you are on his side, since you are. This is basically your "sometimes it's best to let certain things slide" talk. He does have a right, though, at any point to tell his grandparents it makes him uncomfortable when they swear. They have the right to swear, he has the right to not like it.

Keep fighting for them to at least ATTEMPT to watch the language around your family, but if they didn't keep bad language in check when he was two, they're not likely to stop when he's 9.

Answer 3

Sounds like he has had a great up-bringing. Your parents did a good job with you too despite their swearing. I am sure they are aware of their swearing and they should be reminded that there are times that it is inappropriate. For instance they would not swear in church, would they? or at a funeral?
They know better, and if it needs to be brought to their attention here and again, so be it!!!!!!!! Kudos points for your son..

Answer 4

good for you and him! not only are you teaching him to stick up for himself, you're also teaching him how to do so politely. now might be a good time to teach him that people don't always honor our requests. it's unfortunately, but your parents don't seem like they're going to change. you can teach your son that he has a choice. he can stay in the room and try to ignore the swearing, or he can excuse himself when the conversation gets especially graphic. he cannot control other people, but he can control his own behaviors and choices.

you are not being disrespectful. your parents are.

Answer 5

Good for him. My brother is an alcholic (sober 2 years now Thank God) but, my kids spent a good part of their lives only seeing him drunk and often. They use to tell him, "God does not want you to drink beer and get drunk and you are gonna go to hell if you don't stop" At first we were kind of shocked and thought it was disrespectful but ya know what...they were just telling the truth. Kids tell the truth sometimes better then adults. They lie good to when it benefits them. I think you should let your son continue to speak for himself on this matter as long as he is doing it in a respectful manner. "Grandma could you please stop swearing. It really makes me uncomfortable and I am to young to hear words like that" My dad use to cuss like a sailor in front of my kids. After them saying stuff and after me saying stuff he has a clean mouth now for the most part.

Answer 6

I think all of you have done something wrong in this situation. The grandparents shouldn't be swearing around your child, your son should not be telling adults what to do, and you shouldn't be allowing this to continue.If this happens at your house, you need to insist they stop.

Answer 7

Your son is proving his respect to you by going with what you have taught him. It would be very easy for him to ignore it or try to join in. Good for both of you. I had to deal with the same thing with my mom as well as racial remarks.

Can you try telling your parents that your son has become uncomfortable being around them due to their speech? Point out that even though he is only 9 he deserves respect as well as they do. Long story short, ask your parents if they would rather choose to use profanity over seeing their grandchild.

Answer 8

Sounds more like you need to correct your parents, not your child. Good for him for standing up for his values.

Even if you believe swearing is okay, swearing in front of people whom it offends is clearly not okay. It offends your son and he's standing his ground. You're obviously a good parent to have instilled this confidence in him.

Perhaps you could speak with your parents, back up your son and let them know you understand they swear but you'd prefer they not do it around your son.

Answer 9

Punish your parents, not your son. Obviously your son does not like it. Tell your parents to stop, and if they do not, punish them by not taking him over there for a while. They will realize that if they want to see their grandchild, they have to stop swearing.
My mom did this to my grandparents. They were rude, and even tied me to a chair when i was 3. So, my mom refused to visit for about a year. They learned their lesson. They no longer are rude and they accept our company.

Answer 10

Good for him for not repeating it, for actually listening to what you say and following it, and trying to enforce it. You should be proud that you have a good boy that speaks up for himself and doesn't follow the leader.

Your parents are being rude and disrespectful by not trying to curb their language in your child's presence, especially after he has voiced that he doesn't like it. Of course, he isn't supposed to try to tell them what to do, but they should be respectful to him too, and you've told them about it too.

He has the right idea and I would only make sure that he says what he thinks in a respectful manner, but otherwise, I would support him. He is only showing you that you taught him well.

Answer 11

I would ask your parents yourself to stop it. I hate it when people swear in front of my kids, but I think a child has no right to correct and adult, let alone their parents or grandparents. At some point they have to learn people are who they are and will not always be who they want or think they should be. Respect for adults and others is a dying trait in todays kids. It is your responsibility not his.