do you think this is fair for a 12 year old?

Question

i'm turning 13 in june..

-perents died at the age of five
-liveing with grandperents [loved perents waay more]
-called names everyday nonstop
-outcast
-gets critisised for likeing her own music
-cant foucus on school when her social life is spiraling downward
-afraid of everyone
-dosent have many friends since afraid to lose them
-hates her famliy as her famliy outcasts her
-one of only friends dyeing of cancer and being mean to her now
-the only guy she liked has given up on her since she was afraid to comit and lose him too
-crys herself to sleep every night
-wakes up crying
-ppl start rumors about her starting rumors when she never talks to anyone
-a creep is stalking her and wont leave her alone
-abused emotionally in anyway you can think of
-been abused phiscly by ppl at school and more
-dog [only true friend] just died two days ago
-fed up with everything
-prays to god every night..i dont know why i'm still suffering
help me

Answer 1

Oh man.

Sometimes it gets bad. And what you have to believe, no matter what happens, that someday it will get better. The suffering is only temporary.

I kinda know what you are going through.

I lived with 5 different families and went to 12 different schools.

I was always the new kid and always bullied. Had few friends.

At the age of 5 my stepmother would not do my laundry. I had to take it down the street to the laundrymat and do it myself.

Was beaten with just about every household object you can think of.

Ignored and abused. Shuffled off to another relative every year.

You know 1 thing that got me through it? Knowing there were kids who had it worse than me.

I know it's tough. I know kids are brutal. They just don't understand how cruel they can be.

I hope and pray that you can hang on. Have you talked to anyone else? Do you have a relative you can trust?
How about the school counsler. Teacher?

Whatever happens, don't give up. It's people like you and me, people that have been to the edge and come back. We have the strength. We are much wiser for it.

I've included some links to some of my poetry. It was the other thing that helped me survive the pain.

I know that you don't feel like God is there, but he is. I can't tell you why he allows bad things to happen, only that it helps to believe. At least it helps me.

And as far as a boyfriend, you are too young for boys. Do you think a boy is going to save you? Fix you? No. You have to fix yourself. Because no one wants to work that hard. And you don't need the heartache of boys right now.

Good luck little flower. Someday the sun will shine on you.

A~

Answer 2

Hi Melissa,
It sounds like you've experienced a lot of really hard stuff. With regard to being afraid to lose people, you need to let go. The most important thing to remember is that whatever happens, you'll be OK! Whatever life throws at you, you can handle it! When you know that you don't need to be afraid of anything. Try reaching out to someone in your area (perhaps there is a community youth project) talking about it and having that support is really crucial, you can't keep these things pent up inside of you. It's also important to focus on what you do have. The more you focus on these things the bigger they will become and the smaller the bad things will seem. You (presumably) have the sunlight, sight/hearing, food. (Things which a lot of people don't have) The world around you can be a beautiful place, choose to see it that way. I believe you would greatly benefit from watching 'The Secret' if you have not already seen it. Again, talk to people (your grandparents, teachers, your friend) If you feel sad, try writing your feelings down in a journal or writing the things you wish you could have said to people down in a letter, this can help you find closure. But most importantly, make your mission in life to be happy (or at least at peace) despite your misfortunes. Also, I have gone through similiar things to you and would love to be your friend, you can email me directly at [e-mail]

Answer 3

Many kids are in your same predicament ,
Only sometimes they are in a government facility .
Make every effort to focus on school and get a scholarship .
This will be your ticket to a good life .
Now is NOT the time nor the age to commit to a guy ,
You will only end up with a baby and your life WILL become total hell then .
This is school time so you can make a good life for yourself as an adult .
What about your other relatives ?
Can you talk to a pastor at church about getting into a non-hostile home so you can do well at school ?

Your entire future hinges on you being able to get an education because the alternatives are way uglier .

Our prayers are with you .

And FYI > friends are the people you get along with as you pass through life ,
Avoiding friends because of loss fear is futile ,
Start accepting friends , as YOU are making yourself an outcast on that count .

<

Answer 4

It's not fair. I know how you feel. You deserve better. Don't let your agony make you an angry person who takes their pain out on others. You need someone you can talk to about all this - an adult who can help. Talk to your school counselor, a therapist, a religious leader - whoever your are comfortable with. You need help carrying this load. You cannot do it yourself. Other people will be happy to help you with this burden.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Make plans now for what you want your life to be like. Save money in a really safe place. You may have to wait until you are 18 to change things, but you can do it! Be strong.

Journal your thoughts and keep them in a safe place, like a document that you protect with a password. Writing your feelings down will help you release your pain.

Good things come from brave acts. You have to trust people. Make new friends. Maybe their parents can help you if your grandparents can't?

I wish you love and luck. I care.

Answer 5

First off Honey, I am so sorry that you lost your parents. I can't even image losing them at such a young age. I just lost my mom a few months ago but I am an adult, doesn't compare to your lose.
Your age is a hard one. Kids are mean, people are mean. You have been through something so hard and it seems that you have not gotten the help you need to get better.
I think that you should try to talk to someone. Maybe a counsler at school?
You need to remember that you are not going to lose people left and right. I understand why you have this fear but trust me it is not that way.
Please find someone to talk to. A local church maybe?
Life seems really bad right not but it will get better, I promise. Focus on the future and what you want out of life. You will make it. Just have faith. Keep praying. God is bigger then your problems and he will take care of you when no one else will.

Answer 6

You ever heard the prayer "God grant me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference" >?

Some of these things were out of your control. Your parents dying. Your next of kin not being a fun family to be raised with. your dog dying. I am sorry. These kinds of things hurt the most, and we can't stop them or change them.

However, there are ways to address other things (like being bullied at school. Like allowing yourself to be victimized without standing up for yourself. Like letting your depressed cynical mood, your lack of self esteem, and your mousy demeaner and victim mentality turn you into a victim over and over again.

You are so beat down and depressed about the things you couldn't do anythign about you quit fighting the things you should and could be trying to do something about.

You COULD make a good friend or two
You COULD stand up to a bully
You COULD report abuse when it happens and make alot of noise instead of accepting it


Don't let the things you can't change beat you down so much you quit trying to make your life better in the things you can actually do something about.

Answer 7

if you ever need to talk to anyone feel free, i went through hell at school as well, and when i was younger i had a lot of things go wrong for me, and i felt like my world was ending, i even tried to end it, but i came through it, i began to realise that there is good in life as well. my now best friend always says to me look at the positive in things, (the other day my car got towed and i lost my keys so it cost me $280 of money i didnt have so i had to leave it at impound yard and my bf said to me, there must have been a reason you didnt drive home today, maybe a accident or something), so i am pretty sure everything in life is for a reason. i also have a cousin dying of cancer, it is horrible, but we make the most of the time we have together and she knows she will dye soon, but it makes it more special to them, i even had her as a bridesmaid at my wedding, she was in alot of pain but i could see she was having the time of her life, its all we can do is keep positive for them. i was very much bullied at school, i am 22 now and just last month one of the girls that bullied me contacted me to appologise and everything. so just stay strong and at the end of you hard patch i am sure there will be some good times

Answer 8

omg this is so sad. omg I feel so bad. and im so sorry. but life IS NOT fair. try to make ur life better, and walk with ur head up high. have u ever heard this ..."what doesnt killl u makes u stronger"? well this is true. try and get a diary/journal if possible to write down ur feellings. dont worry life will get better. I kno it did for me.....OH and ALWAYS look on the positive side of things, and try to take to someone close to u about ur problems. good luck and I hope this helps

Answer 9

I'm so sorry:( I'll be your friend:) If you want, email me at [e-mail]

Don't worry, be strong, join school activities, meet new people, be your self and don't try so hard. Talking to a counselor can help alot too:)

Answer 10

Face it ..sometimes life sucks! People die..they go away ..they can treat you awful. You cant control it ..but you know what you can control? Yourself! You can learn to be strong and tough with out being bitter. You can't change everything about what is going on around you. Don't count on god to change things..find the things in your life you can change and work on them ..things you cant change except and move on.