2007-04-27 11:14:15 · 21 answers · asked by princess 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was never able to say no before. And my kids were spoiled and always got their way. Everytime I said it, I felt guilty for denying them anything. I learned to say no for my own sanity and for their behavior. I am proud of myself for being able to say NO. This has taught them their boundary lines and they now know that I won't buy them whatever they want.
2007-04-27 11:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to use no some of the times. It's more of a question of how you say it, and how often. Save the no's for thiings that are absolutely non-negotiable. Say no when perceived danger is involved.
For others things I use a different approach ; for example, I'm in a toy store and my son wants a toy. I don't say no. I say "yes, another time." I truly mean it that there will be another time. This gives the child hope. When you get home help the child put his/hers desires on a wish list. This is a very useful life skill. It teaches your child to be visionary- to prioritize what he/she really wants. With older children what they really want they are willing to work for.
Another scenario is a baby or toddler told no all the time and given no alternatives or explanation. The early years are the foundation of language development. If a parent/caregiver says to a child no and don't all the time, and especially with no explanation or alternative, well these children often end up being delayed in language.
So there's a time and a place for no. Use it wisely and sparingly, not arbitrarily. The no's will have more meaning for the child when not overused and they don't set off unnecessary triggers for the child. The parent feel s good when saying no because it's used sparingly. Pair no with an explanation-however brief. Discuss alternatives with the child or help him/her put desires on a wish list. By the way, a wish list can be done any time during the year not just close to a special occasion.
2007-04-29 11:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that saying 'no' when justified is a must in parenting
but once boundaries are laid down and accepted by both parents and children that is when the real relationship with all the joy and fun can begin
kids do prefer to have boundaries (ie someone reminding them 'no' when they get close to crossing the line) and tend to feel more secure than those with no boundaries and hence get on far better with others - both their peer group and with adults
i think with parents who don't like saying 'no' are self indulgent and are storing up problems for their kids in the long run
2007-04-27 19:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it all the time. Depends on the question, usually it is involving money (i.e buying something) Saying yes all time will only send the message to your child that they have control, so when you do say no they are going to have a fit. When you do say yes let them know you are doing for a reason (reward for grades or behavior) My 18 yr. old thanked me the other day for telling her no when she was growing up, she goes to school with kids who's parents give them everything and don't say no. 1 happy no saying mom.
2007-04-28 17:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by nebraska_mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word no isn't of all that much value. I try not to use it. Our philosophy is not to have well-behaved kids, but to teach our little boys to be men. Instead of "No cookies, dinner's almost ready." We say, "Sure, you can have a cookie after dinner." Instead of "No, leave the TV alone." we say, "We are watching that. Here, push the buttons on this toy instead."
Our boys are intelligent (read: too smart for their own good) and while they can be opinionated and stubborn, they listen and cooperate very well. We are teaching them that we respect them and their ability to grow and learn and that they can show themselves and others respect and consideration freely. Seems to be working, check back in a few years though.
2007-04-27 18:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by Momofthreeboys 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I tried and tried not to use the word NO, but it never worked for me! lol.
Today my son is 6 years old and he'll forever as me for something I just can't give him and he's not a whiner but insist that he needs the "thing". SO, I will tell him No once and if he keeps it up I continue to tell him, "I said no once, and now I'm ignoring u!" ...its over
But, overall saying no is hard not to use but saying yes once in a while has its rewards
2007-04-27 21:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by α∂νєηтυяє ιѕ нєяє 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No is a word that we all hear through out our lives.. Children need to learn that they can't have everything they want.. it's not always easy to say no... even though children don't believe it....
And when a parent hears. ... that's not fair.. . I try to remind my sons that life in and of itself is not fair.. if it were we would all live in mansions and have all the money we needed for everything!
2007-04-27 18:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by gin_in_mi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every child needs to hear "No" every now and then. It shows them that you are in control and the parent. A parent who doesn't say "No" is looked at more as a friend not a superior.
2007-04-27 19:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by haroku266 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No is one of the most popular words we all use everyday. Just like the word yes.
I say no when it is appropriate.
2007-04-27 21:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kimmie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say no to my 4 boys all the time.
no, you cant have that i cant afford it/you havent been good like you promised.
no, its not ok to give up because something is difficult,
no is important, no isnt always something to be used like discipline it can be used as incoragement and be postive.
i pitty parents who seem to find it hard to say no i realy do
2007-04-27 19:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋