THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you...
I've changed my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday,
Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday!
You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have been friends for a very long time...
let's say we stop?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay
2007-04-27 10:28:15 · 15 answers · asked by bernman101 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Here's another one:
HELLO!!!
When we first met, it was with HELLO.
Now that I'm here with you, my life is now one big HELLO!!!
(Without the "O")
2007-04-27 10:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by Gamer_Nikko™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are all good. I've seen these from emails I've gotten.
Are we supposed to choose a favourite one here???
I like the first one actually.... =) It's funny!!
2007-04-27 10:39:22 · answer #2 · answered by angelique1225 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the Happy Birthday Uncle/Dad can be used here in Massachusetts by my nephew...lol...His father left his mother and then married his aunt...so....lol...oh yeah, now he also has cousin/brothers...lol...
2007-04-27 10:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by Red Sox lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never seen these before thankyou for posting them, they were all awsome brought a smile and laugh to me today!
2007-04-27 10:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny ones! lol!
2007-04-27 13:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2007-04-27 10:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by troubledyouthafg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could actually use some of these. lol
2007-04-27 10:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by mommysgirl78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must be a card freak
2007-04-27 10:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by robertman30s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha Wish they would make some of those
2007-04-27 10:36:55 · answer #9 · answered by re_nec_ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are funny!
2007-04-27 10:32:33 · answer #10 · answered by aspergerskitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋