My husbands family is screwy! whenever there is a death in the family it has to be kept a BIG secret...well, his parents are long gone & today his grandmother passed away (she was 95)My husbands sister called & told me (my husband is out of town) The grandmother didnt leave anything to anyone so thats not the issue...My brother in law said I should NOT be the one to tell my husband or my husbands children...I've been with my husband 14 yrs...arent "I" part of the family? I dont get these people! shouldnt I be allowed to say something??? there isnt going to be a service, but there will be that dreadful get together...what do I do...do I go & pretend to be a part of the family or stay home & not bother????
2007-04-27 07:45:21 · 6 answers · asked by east2west92 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
to Wolf~Well, my husbands mother NEVER liked me....probably because I was 12 yrs younger than him & he had just recently gotten divorced (after being married for a million yrs) As far as my brother in law goes...I was young, cute & had a good job (yrs ago) & he had the "hots" for me & my sister in law KNEW it...so that could be the cause of all the hostility between me & him...As far as them telling other people to "keep things a secret"...not sure about that...word usually spreads fast in this family...
2007-04-27 08:12:09 · update #1
Call your husband and tell him his grandmother died...... It is their problem if they like to keep secrets.... Go if for no other reason but to show support to your husband
2007-04-27 14:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Pearlinpc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your husband's family be as screwy as they want. Don't let that stop you from doing the right thing and paying your respects to his grandmother.
It sounds like the family is full of controlling drama queens. No one else can spread the bad news except them. They love the emotional chaos that comes with telling bad news like a death. They don't want you to take this opportunity from them. Irritating you by saying you can't tell your husband is part of their little drama. They can throw a hissy fit if you go ahead and tell him. I'm betting that if you don't tell your husband, they will say to him "Why did she tell you?" You can't win either way with people like this.
Don't let them get to you. Stay grounded and centered as they play their little games. Just continue to be you and ignore their game.
2007-04-27 14:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all sure what is going on, unless you have a lot of other evidence that they are shunning you. It could be just their family way. It could be that your disdain for them comes through loud and clear, and they do not want you breaking the news. This thing about keeping it a secret...are you the only one who they tell not to tell? Perhaps they are the problem...but it could be that they perceive you to be a problem. If they play these kinds of games all the time and you are not the only one told to keep a "secret" then they are....a bit unusual.
2007-04-27 14:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They certainly are weird, not wanting you to be the one to pass the news on to your husband of his grandmother's passing. I guess you aren't part of the family. Go and pretend to be part of the family. If you stay home, they will know their rudeness got to you. Don't let it get to you.
2007-04-27 15:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl do what you feel like doing and while you are at it tell your brother in law to worry about his family and not yours.Tell his sister that if she didn't want you to repeat it she should not have said anything to you about it.
2007-04-27 15:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by ladym 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do whatever your husband wants you to do. Remember you married him, not his family, and its sounds like you don't have to be around them all that much anyway, thank God.
2007-04-27 14:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋