What do U think about mother leaving 8 yr old alone for 2 hours?

Question

My sister-in-law allows her 8 yr old son to walk from school to her in law's house and stay there alone for 2 or more hours before his step grandma comes home from work. This uspets and angers me Very Much! Am I over reacting? I have 2 kids and I would NEVER leave either of them alone. Should I step in for his safety..........I think that CPS could even step in, but Im not sure???? Im torn..........please help!

I am a working Mom myself and my kids go to daycare and I get financial help thru gov. for it. My sis-in-law doesnt even work, but she lives out in the country. In my opinion she should get up off her butt and go pick him up........what do u think?

Answer 1

You're between the rock and a hard place.

I agree with you 100%, but but it is possible there is no alternative,as poor a choice as this is. As much as you're tempted to say something be careful, it could just tick her off and you'll have something unpleasant on your hands.
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Goodluck.

Answer 2

It depends on where you live. In my state their is no age limit to when you can leave a child home alone, but it's 12 when you can leave them in charge of another child. We had an issue with my step sons mother doing this so we called CPS. We were told that as long as the child is self sufficient, then it wasn't illegal to leave him alone. He was 9. We were told that you obviously had to have some common sense about it, but that at 9 it was OK. Call and ask if there is an age requirement to be left alone and go from there. It's certainly not a smart decision on her part. I'm nervous leaving my step son alone for an hour (even though his mother has no problems leaving him all day when she's at work) and he's 12 almost 13 now.

Answer 3

Calm down, and try to be understanding of the situation. Sometimes as mothers (parents), we have to make some decisions that are not the very best, but under the circumstances at that moment, it'd be the only choice we have.

My 17 year old son became a latch-key kid at age 9. When he got off the school bus, he walked home and stayed there for about 2 hours until I got home from work. He knew NOT to answer the phone unless the caller ID said it was from me, and he knew not to answer the door bell either. That is not to say that I wasn't calling and checking in on him constantly. If the child is responsible enough, I don't see it as a problem. A mother will have to know their child well enough to trust them to do that.

How far does your nephew have to walk to get home, and are there any other choices that his mom would have besides staying home from work?
Call and check on him if you can while he's at the in-laws place.

Answer 4

Personally, I think that it the mothers business. She is the one who knows whether or not her kid can handle it. I know I stayed home alone after school starting when I was 8. It didn't bother me. I was home from 3:30 till evening, like 7pm. I would do homework, eat, watch tv, talk on the phone and sometimes nap and did chores like dishes or clean my room. I didn't burn the house down or hurt myself. Kids are smarter than you think. She may have things for him to do to stay busy. I called my g.ma when I got home and she called and checked on me until she got home.

I do not think that you should step in. Calling CPS is almost always a bad idea. They could take the child away and that is going to do way more permanant damage than a couple lonely hours after school. Kids are very resiliant.

If it is that big of a deal to you, you can talk to the mom and tell her how you feel. Altho, I would not expect a welcoming responce.
But, ultimately I think you need to let her do the decision making for her child and stay out of family business; especially if it doesn't effect you or your children.
{Unless the child is being abused where you can see bruises or seriously neglected, like not eating, loosing weight etc. I am not hearing either one of those things.}

2 hours is NOT a big deal.

If you really want to make change, watch the child yourself or give her an alternative to leaving him alone. Offer somewhere else to go. If you have the money -- You pay for the sitter. I know that there are more pro-active things you could do to HELP her than call CPS which only make things worse. CPS breaks families apart, not bring them together.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

I know I am going to get slammed for this but I was a latch key kid. I stayed at home by myself day and night while my mom held 2 jobs from age 7 on up. Sure she would have preferred being more available but she was adamant about getting my needs met. We had a "system" she would call, let the phone ring twice and then call right back. It was our code. In today's age you could be burned at the stake for such "abuse"-no I wouldn't leave my 5 yr old alone but given the fact I have to pay $150 a week to have my child picked up from kindergarten and taken to day care for a few hours I could understand this mom's delima. I would like to suggest rather than calling CPS that you might take a more proactive approach. Be grateful for your situation, that the means are met so you can be available to your kid. Keep an eye on the kid/place and understand that we can not all afford to stay home. Save the call to CPS in the event of actual abuse.

Answer 6

we were called latch key kids when i grew up. At 8 I was home alone for a few hours everyday before parents came home from work. So i see nothing wrong with it as long as the child can handle the responsibility. He should be taking this time alone to do homework or something else constructive. to all those who thought or think this is a bad idea i am sorry that you dont think the kid can handle it. if you think what he is going threw is bad what about at 10 i was expected to watch my 3 younger brothers for a couple hours ata shot! the kid will be ok i swear! if anything it may teach HIM HOW TO BE A LIL MORE INDEPENDENT AND THATS WHAT WE ALL WANT THEM TO LEARN ANYWAY RIGHT!

Answer 7

I think maybe you should do your part and call someone. The CPS would definitely be a good place to start. Leaving a child alone for 2 or more hours is a big NO NO! What if some pervert notices what is happening with this child and takes advantage of it. The mother would be sorry then... Doubt full about losing the child, but going to jail.

Answer 8

Instead of getting angry, try to understand the situation and if you have the capability, offer to watch your nephew during those two hours of time. Either pick the child up from school or have him bused to your house--if its possible. He's family. Calling CPS may get him put into a foster home. That might effectively be worse than the situation he is in now. Where is your brother?

Answer 9

He lets himself in the house and just waits for someone to come home? No, this is not good at all. It is very dangerous. I am sure CPS would step in. Where I live, this is against the law. An 8 year old cannot even stay in the car while his mother runs into the store for a few minutes.

Answer 10

in the 70's i used to get locked out of my house at like 8 in the morning, we'd use the hose for drinking and wed play all day, just be home before dark. but that was then, i never left my kids home alone until they were 11 or 12, i think 8's a little young, but then i dont know the kid. whatever you do i wouldnt call a social service until you talk it ovr with all the people involved, geeez social services has a way of doing thinkgs and if you talk to the wrong person theyll have your kids in foster care before your done with them

Answer 11

Eight is WAY too young to be left alone especially for two hours! I would probably say something but don't attack her. Suggest a good friend or a teenager in the neighborhood to hang out there until his step grandma gets home.