He just recently got divorced. Some of his ex-wife's mail still comes to my boyfriend's house and I live with him. She calls him all the time to borrow money. They still have some joint accounts like utility bills, credit cards and her name is still on his mortgage. Also, his name is on her car title. I don't know if I'm freaking out for no reason but I think she's too dependent on him. Plus, what is taking so long for them to split up accounts. I would hate for her to "accidentally" ruin his credit by not paying her car payment on time since his name is also on her auto loan. What do you think about this? Should I say something to him?
2007-04-27 07:03:28 · 24 answers · asked by Steph 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Heck yeah! I would feel like he's too busy worrying about his ex-wives problems then he is about me!
2007-04-27 07:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They just got divorced right?
Cant turn the off switch on both. One wanted it, the other probably didn't. And even if it was the ex-wife, emotions, dependable behaviors are there still, time will change that. Whether you like this or not, you are on the outside looking in regarding this relationship. Even though its over.
Finances? Yes, good point. Sometimes in order to get people off of accounts/deeds, it has to be closed and then a new one open. A LOT OF WORK, hassle and time. Also a car through a car dealer WILL NOT allow the other person be removed from the title unless it is refinanced. Bank accounts have to be closed in order to remove peoples names maybe not all banks do that but many do.
Should you tell him? I bet he knows, but yes TALK to him about it, calmly. Want to open a can of worms? Nothing like a "Oh you had a divorce and this person can hang this over you to shut someone off"
In short, its touchy, tread carefully, and be supportive
2007-04-27 14:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that easy to separate some accounts, such as the car title. My brother is divorced but his truck is under his ex-wife's name. It would cost significantly to have the title changed over to his name (he's still paying for it). Also with mortgage, it's not an easy as pie process to remove someone from the mortgage without some fees and a good waiting time. I think in your case, your b/f is just stuck waiting for the accounts to separate - it takes time.
2007-04-27 14:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by Delita 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, how long have they been divorced?
You could start off the conversation not arguing with him, but just telling him that he should take the initiative and try to break things off completely with her. Going off on a tangent about how it might ruin both of your lives, including your relationship, would be a downward turn in the conversation. You are right in saying that she does seem dependent on him, but remember that sometimes it does take a while for certain things to end (even if the relationship has already).
2007-04-27 14:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by No. 41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one, but since you said it was just "recently" that they got divorced, you need to realize that splitting all of that stuff takes time.
However, you still should be able to talk with him about it and find out what his intentions are with all of it. Hopefully he's working on getting it all split to where she can't hurt his name/credit.
I'd assume that the divorce decree would have addressed all of this and that there would have been timelines in place. Has the decree been issued already?
2007-04-27 14:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by Bobbie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He need to get her name off their bank accounts and house if at all possible. A friend of mine got divorced and her ex-husband ruined her credit because she didn't get her name off the mortgage in time and he let it get foreclosed on.
2007-04-28 08:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not be living with him. They still have a lot of emotional ties that take time to go away. I think you need to ask yourself why you are living with a man who just got a divorce? You can date him for awhile before you rush into living with him.
2007-04-27 14:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by rn2b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with him? I would definitely say something about it; if they are divorced then they need to cut their financial ties...It's not right for either one of them to have bills/loans under the other's name/credit.
2007-04-27 14:10:03 · answer #8 · answered by Buggaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot is in play here....how long have you been dating? If I were you, I would express how you feel, but dont make it as though it is an issue. Let him feel like he can talk to you about it. It is really a matter that he has with his ex. Maybe this was an agreement they had. You will just have to talk with him.
2007-04-27 14:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by Miss. American Nightmare 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope if she left any underwear behind when she left that you washed them before you jumped into them. It sounds like you jumped into the bed she laid in with her ex before the sheets got cold.
You have jumped on what is known as the rebound express and you will probably find it to be a rough ride. It will probably be a short ride also.
2007-04-27 17:17:20 · answer #10 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought it was just me!!!! fabulous. someone else is in the same boat. and its kinda complicated to bring it up and say well honey can you like officially split up now? lol, ask him for one of the utility bills to open an account as you will need a proof of residence... or something, he might get the hint, otherwise, say
Babe, we need to talk.
lol
good luck, i'm watching out for thise one i need to know if anyone has better ideas
2007-04-27 14:08:40 · answer #11 · answered by rumbz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋