There is this guy that I am pretty good friends with, we have so much in common and we are really good friends. We talk and laugh about everything together and he is such a nice guy. I know that he likes me, because we 'accidentally' made out one night and he was saying how he would like to be more than friends. I told him I couldn't do that now because of work (we work together) which is true, but the main reason holding me back is his weight. I know this sounds shallow, but I am a very healthy person, I work out at least 5 times a week, and I really value healthy eating and living and clearly he does not. He is 6'5" 320ish, and I am 5'6'' 125. I don't know what to do.
2007-04-27 06:22:21 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you like him for who he is inside, which is the most important thing. And normally, it's the other way around, so consider yourself lucky!
I bet this guy will want to go to the gym with you. Make it something you do together and the pounds will melt away.
2007-04-27 06:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by Allison S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is you have great chemistry with this guy. I understand what you mean. I work out 4-5 times a week and yes, I do prefer girls who are at least healthy weight. I think a lot of the people commenting may be a bit harsh on you. Working out and healthy eating is a lifestyle, not just a hobby. Yes, his weight is a problem. I suggest you ask him to work out with you. If he takes a liking to it, then he will lose weight with you. If he does not, then you got a dilemma. Either you accept him the way he is OR just let it go and move on. You can try to change people, but only if they want to change. Best of luck!
2007-04-27 13:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mav17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not attracted to him, then pass. If you are, then go for it. You need to be attracted to a person to enjoy sex, which face it, is a big part of a long-term relationship. I work out a few times a week and was in a relationship with a chubby girl. It did get on my nerves sometimes, and depending on your dedication (sounds high) to working out, will probably bug you also.
Does he know you're not into heavy guys? I let a girl i was into know that i didn't like girls that smoked and she ended up quitting within a month! With him being that big, you're looking at someone that WILL have a lot of health problems and that will definitely hurt you; I would try to get him in a gym regardless. good luck!
2007-04-27 13:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by chris m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth. it may sound shallow but physical attraction is crucial so is hooking up with someone who is not a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen. I told some big guy I liked that I would date him if he lost weight, he lost like 80 pounds and ended up dating some hotter looking girl.
anyways the quality of his life improved immensely and you dont have to be brutal but you should definately be honest if you truly are his friend. if you cant be honest over this, what can you be honest about ,with a friend?
2007-04-27 14:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by suqbus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance but let him see how much being healthy means to you and maybe he will make the effort. Even if he doesn't its still worth a shot to see if the weight is really a problem for you.
2007-04-27 13:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by 132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your interested, give it a chance, and no, you don't seem shallow. His weight doesn't sound healthy, and you should talk to him about it.
Explain to him that while you do like him, he needs to respect and love himself more before you can give him a chance to love you. That's not trying to change him, thats being honest.
Don't expect him to loose 200 lbs, thats not an easy feat, but he could stand to loose a little.
2007-04-27 13:29:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My main advice is : If you like him , you like him. If you love him, you love him! Looks should'nt hold you back, nor should the opinions of others! Who knows, maybe if he finds out working out is one of ur hobbys, he will wanna do it with you someday. It sounds like you like him for the right reasons, you have a lot in common, hes funny, hes nice, etc etc. He probably feels the same way about you, so looks shouldnt hold you 2 back! give him a chance. xD
2007-04-27 13:27:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really liked him it wouldn't matter. The fact that you are hung up on his wait just says that you are not ready for a relationship with him. You could be missing out on the best man you will ever meet and you would let something as little as a person's weight stop you, its immature and shallow.
2007-04-27 13:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by Merrill L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If It won't touch their mind,sadly nothing changes in their body .
If you are or become close, really talk about it and have him consider the health risks. Maybe he just needs good people to be around for a while .Be patient.
2007-04-27 13:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont just accidently make out with someone please lol I know better then that! You have feeling for eachother and they just showed themselves thats all. Now the weight thing is something that can change, if its his personality that you are attracted to then be with him. Make your mind up or else your just going to hurt him do not give him mixed signals!!
2007-04-27 13:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋