I promised my daughter a spanking if she gets a bad report card, can I back out of doing it? What should I do?

Answer 1

Think positive, maybe your daughter is going to get a good report card, then treat her to an ice cream sundae..

Treat her to one even if she gets a bad report card....

Answer 2

I think that the problems that are caused by a parent backing out of something are when the child has whined/bargained his way out, or the parent just ignores the offense.

There are probably a few times in every parent's career that they make a threat they are NOT going to carry out. It is better to say something than to carry out something that was too severe or was just inappropriate.

Okay, what you should say is something like, "I know that I told you that I'd spank you if you brought home a bad report card. I've reconsidered that decision, and have decided that it would be better to _______."

Also, punishing for a bad report card is punishing for the RESULT, not the offense. For instance: Sometimes I've heard parents tell their child repeatedly not to run around, and the child disobeys 20x, and finally knocks something over, so the parent punishes the child for knocking the item over. Punishment should not be for the RESULT. In this case what the child did wrong was run around when told not to. The child should have been disciplined for disobeying, not for what happened.

SO, if your daughter is refusing to do her homework [or whatever] and this is causing failing grades, then she should get in trouble for not doing her homework, regardless of the grades she gets on her report card. If the poor grades are caused by a lack of understanding the material, then she should not be punished at all.

Just my two cents' worth!!

Answer 3

It all depends. Is she getting bad grades because she does not understand the work or is it because she is being lazy? If it's a lack of understanding then do not punish her, get her a tutor, but if it's because she is being lazy then yes you need to follow through and give her a spanking. Over all Else please talk with her about her grades before you take action and then if you decide that spanking will help explain to her that she is getting a spanking and send her to her room. Do not deliver the punshment until you are calm. God Bless You and remember a spanking is not the end of the world........she'll get over it.

Answer 4

Above all do NOT "let her choose her own punishment" that is the worst infliction of the hippie parenting mantra ever to seep into the minds of otherwise rational people. You told her what consequences to expect should she receive a bad report card. She had the choice to either 1) get a good report card and be praised or 2) get a bad report card and be spanked. She, unfortunately chose option 2. She knew what the consequences of her actions would be and she chose to carry them out anyways. She has already chosen her punishment.

It is also very important though that she know that she will be praised and/or rewarded for accomplishing goals and achieving to the highest level that she is capable.

Answer 5

That's a promise you need to take back!!!!! You should never, ever promise your daughter a spanking if she gets a bad report card. Why would you ever want to instill that fear in her? If she has a bad report card, lovingly, give her the extra help she needs to better her grades. She should never be afraid of you. Be there for her always, to help her, not threaten her. My dad was like you & I was so afraid of him, especially when it was report card time. When I saw him come home, I'd hide in the closet & tremble so badly. I never got over my fear of him. Spankings aren't going to make her get better grades, believe me. Instilling fear, backfires all too often. If your parents threatened you, break the cycle now. When my sons came home with a bad report card, I didn't tell them I was disappointed in them, nor did I spank them. I just told them they'd have to do better next time. I also sat down with them & helped where I could. Try it, it may just work!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

The spanking part is totally up to you. If you told her thats what she would get if she did not do her work, I personally would follow thru with what I said.

School... Is her JOB. We have to go to work, they have to go to school. Period. If she is struggling with work because she is not able to do it, try getting her tested to use the resources At the school. They can put her in a slower class that takes more time with each unit. If she is being lazy also take EVERYTHING away. Allow her no privileges. Call her teacher have them send you weekly grade reports with the % and current grade on it, Every Friday. If she is doing badly, she can study all weekend, if not it can be a weekend of fun. ITS HER CHOICE.

My son pulled the "he didn't cares" in 6Th grade. I did this too him. He hated the every week report cards and emails i got and received from his teacher. If he didn't turn something in she emailed me. It changed his performance. I had them do the same in 7th. he is now in 9th. I dont have to do this.... he gets all A's with an occ. B . I dont expect all A's however I do expect him to try, and to turn in all his assignments.

Answer 7

Sure, you can back out of it. Why you would is beyond me though. Now you're teaching her that what you say holds no value and doesn't mean anything. Not a good thing to teach her. You should always stick by what you say. If you throw empty threats at her she's going to learn that she can do whatever she wants and get away with it. You really should have thought this through before saying that. I would have told her something like no phone or no tv, no computer stuff like that. I would never tell my child I was going to punish them in one way and then totally flake out on it. Then he's taught that I don't mean one damn word I say. Is that what you want your daughter to think of you?

Answer 8

Its a bad practice to say you are going to do something and then not follow through with it. Kids learn fast and will soon realize that its an empty threat and will no longer take you seriously. Now I'm not saying you should spank her how about talking to her and telling her you have changed your mind and she will be grounded until the next report card comes out or something like that but you have to follow through with it.

Answer 9

You can sit down with her and explain that spanking will do nothing to improve her grades and that you only threatened the spanking in hopes that it would be a motivation to make her work harder to do better in school. Tell her that apparently did not work and ask her what you can do to help her take her schooling more seriously.

Listen to what she says. She might have some good explanation for why she is not doing as well in school as you would like. Is she getting good nutrition and plenty of sleep? Does she need glasses? Is there a problem with her teacher or children in her classes? Are you providing her a quiet place to do her homework? Are you helping her with her homework?

Report card time is a good opportunity to have discussions about study habits and about future goals.

Good luck!

Answer 10

The question is, is she concentrating on her work and not doing well, or is she being lazy? Either way, I dont think spanking is a good solution.
If she is trying, and not getting it, then work with her, and praise her when she does well.
If she is being lazy, then when you check her homework, start a reward system. Try rewards like helping Mom with dinner, taking a walk with Dad. Treats generally backfire. I would show her your dissapointment when she does not do well, but not spanking or grounding, this may make her dislike school.
As far as this report card, I would discuss with her why it was bad, and what you can both do to make it better.

Answer 11

First I would find out why it is bad. Then if it is because of not doing homework and bad behavior then yes i would spank. But if it is because she isn't understanding the work then I would get her the help she needs. Try better study habits with her.