I was shocked, he took my car keys (it's actually his car) and refused to give me moneys. He already told me that if I try it again, he'll kick me to the curb.
It has been a week and he still doesn't show any sign of weakness. But I need car and moneys so badly. I don't know what to do. I'm scare if I start to have sex with him again then get mad at him again, I won't have any leverage on him.
I can't believe he react like this. This is first time I actually seriously try it. I've done it to other and it work great.
How could this not affect him at all but yet hurt me way more?
2007-04-27 05:14:05 · 32 answers · asked by Alicia K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is first time I seriously tried it with him.
2007-04-27 05:14:48 · update #1
In my opinion, no one is obligated to always be in the mood for sex and therefore shouldn't be treated poorly because of it.
However, it seems to me that you are using the withholding of sex as a form of blackmail. If you don't let me have what I want you don't get sex and this is completely wrong and in a way you are prostituting yourself out to your boyfriend.
If you want the use of a car and money then I suggest you start earning it the right way through the means of a job and responsibility.
2007-04-27 05:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by Lwood 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all why would you do that. If he made you mad or upset don't withhold sex. Let me tell you why. When do that for a while he'll tend to start looking elsewhere. Men are men wheather is a good man or a creep. Men like sex think of it often and fantasize always. That's the truth. So when he wants it give it to him and as long as he's happy you'll be happy. Now if he's hitting you or being verbally abusive then leave and don't look back but let me tell you money and a car is nothing -- men can come and go. Be true to yourself. If he is a good man then wake up and quit playing games. Grown ups have to do things we don't like sometimes but you wouldn't want him just shutting down on you when you want a little play too.
2007-04-27 05:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by crt35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are trying to manipulate him but it back fired. I suppose that you guys have a commitment that neither of you will sleep with other people but you want withhold sex from him because he made you mad?
And this guy gives you the car and moneys.
Hmmmm....
Most couples who engage in a healthy relationship don't need leverage on the other. Regardless, it doesn't sound like you have leverage over him anyway.
So, you may as well give in and have sex with him so you can get your car and your moneys.
2007-04-27 05:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by c_crum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what you get for playing games, and seeing a relationship as a power play instead of a mutual partnership. He has every right to keep his car, and there is no reason he should give you money except to pay for mutual expenses (rent, childcare, etc). If you want money, go out and work for it, like the rest of the world.
Your boyfriend is unaffected by your "sex strike" because he no longer wishes to put up with your games... and also possibly because he is getting it elsewhere.
I strongly suggest you break up with him, and spend some serious quality time on your own. Learn to be self-reliant and independent. A relationship that centers on just sex, money, and power is little more than prostitution; a relationship that centers on mutual affection, love, and respect is something worth keeping, and working for. Challenge yourself to be the best, and only accept the best in your life; don't limit yourself.
2007-04-27 05:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely disagree with with-holding sex from your partner as a "punishment" of any form. It is childish and just a bad idea.
His reaction is one that I can understand to a point. You are with-holding love from him, therefore he is with-holding what leverage he has from you (money and car).
You are both wrong.
The relationship is not based on just sex, but there are some serious issues here and you are not right for each other.
You don't PUNISH each other.
You work on problems and as an ADULT try to work things out.
2007-04-27 05:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you shouldn't be with him, he can't make you have sex and if he's going to take things you need away the relationship doesn't sound any good. Not saying witholding it on purpose is good, but at the same time you are not a slave and shouldn't be punished for doing something you don't want to do. He probably figures since he is giving you money and a car, your relationship is a job for you, and your job is sex. Maybe you need to grow up a little and not solve problems by witholding things too.
2007-04-27 05:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by akfjlkjfeijofoofososd 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two issues are going on here. First, why are you with someone who you would want to 'withhold' anything from, and the second thing is, if you've done this to others, the question is "why"? Witholding something from someone is like a form of rejection; he's hurt that you've done that and therefore reacting on it. If I had to 'do something" for someone to have a much needed item, I would be finding my way out of the relationship.
2007-04-27 05:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it sounds like you are using sex as a weapon...
Is that really what you want sex to be? A weapon?
I would hope it had more meaning than that...
I have dated a few like that, and I have dumped them instantly.
You are fortunate he is even giving you a second chance at all.
Doing that wasn't good.
His not allowing you to play games like that was good.
He simply refused to allow use of his car and money.
He has that right, it's his!
Tit for Tat games benefit noone.
Additional:
You have the right to not want to have sex, however using sex as a weapon is wrong.
I agree with theresathegreat above. Very well put!
2007-04-27 05:51:53 · answer #8 · answered by Rockmeister 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should dump the friendship. You're not together anymore and even if you were, you're NOT obligated to anyone to give them sex. Tell him to get it from the 5 that he cheated on you with. Have some self respect for yourself and find someone that will love and be loyal to you and only you. Ask him was he being sensitive to your feelings when he cheated on you? Why waste your time with someone who obviously don't have any respect for you and only wants sex....move on.
2016-05-20 07:56:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for him! He reacted that way because he is not a pussy, he's a man and he should stand up for himself when women try this tactic. All men should do the same thing if it happens to them.
He shouldn't have to take that crap, and I'm glad he shut you down. If he is letting you use his car and give you money, he deserves sex, and if he isn't getting sex, he shouldn't keep paying for it. Why don't you get a job and make your own money and buy your own car?
2007-04-27 05:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋