Do you think he's treating me bad?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and things were great until he got this new job. Now he works long hours from like 4pm to 2am sometimes and lately my friends think he's been treating me like dirt. He doesn't call most of the time and when he does, he's grouchy and when I say anything about our relationship he freaks and says OMG you're so annoying why do you ask questions you already know the answers to (even though I don't) it's usually like, ok are we moving in together this summer...etc. He used to do nice things for me, but now he doesn't do anything. It seems as though everything I say pisses him off and he's just been a jerk lately. I know he's tired and stuff but i don't know, and when I tell him things that bother me or hurt my feelings he just freaks out and then it just gets worse so finally I asked him if he even wanted to be with me anymore and he said yeah i love you. But he hurts my feelings every day just about, he yells at me and makes me feel bad.

Answer 1

Personally, I would give him an ultimatum. Either he shapes up and talks to you about what is wrong and then starts treating you with the respect you deserve or the relationship is over.

I would also stop thinking about moving in together....even if things get better. You need to give it some time to see if the improvements last.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

I have some questions how old are and do you work?
Myabe you should try finding out when is the best time to ring him a 10 hours day is along day at work plus the time it takes to get ready go there and get back that makes for a long day.
Maybe you should be limiting your time for serious conversation with him until the days he has off. On the days he is working limit the conversation small talk how was your day what are you doing etc.
You know he is tired and you have been tolerant just try to work out when the best time to talk to him is, often in a relationship timing is very important.

Answer 3

Been there done that honey! My fiance had a job running a restaurant/nightclub for a year last year and it made him a monster! He was pissed off all the time, working constantly, always yelling on the phone, always getting called in to fix something, he was absolutely miserable and took it out on me. I would have left but I just kept telling myself that it was becuase of the job. Well he finally started to realize that his job was ruining his life and I was reaching my breaking point so he left the job and got an office job. Now he says he's having the best time of his life with me and says quitting his job was the best thing that's ever happened to him. He has more than redeemed himself with me, but it took time for me to forgive him. It's up to you whether you stick it out for him or if you leave becuase it hurts too bad!

Answer 4

hey if you can get through this then you are fine.... think about it. Lets say you 2 get married.... You both are going to have to work. That leaves you with how much time together. There are always DOWNS in relationships and if you BOTH can get through all of those downs then think about how strong your relationship will actually be. I wouldnt say he is treating you like dirt he is just stressing over work.

Answer 5

You deserve to be treated better than that. Sometime you need to meet somewhere (not at either one of your house/apartments) and you need to tell him exactly how you feel. If he says he doesn't want to listen to it, tell him he has to or you'll end it right then and there. If he makes you uncomfortable during this talk, or starts threatening or harassing you... just leave. I hope that this works out for the best... but if it doesn't, just remember there are lots of other men out there!

Answer 6

Gee. It sounds just like you are already married. Perhaps you should consider going forward with your education and not bother with the raising a child problem; you have your whole life before you so why not wait on the child rearing thing until you can do it with a good paying job and yaddah?

Answer 7

well if he's been doing nice things for u then it's ur turn to do same now...
also u should see what's the best time to discuss about certain things... do not listen to ur friends...
u should not let ur friends interfere in ur personal life...
i would suggest that u show more concern for ur bf when he comes back late and tired...
u never know may be he has prob adapting to his new work place... he wants to concentrate on his career right now
and as i said u should not bombard him with questions when he's at office or he comes back home tired...
dont ask questions as if u r in doubt as he will certainly not like any trouble...
just be cool and things will be clear for u...
gd luck...

Answer 8

Dump him. You're in a one way/ one sided relationship. And don't even think of marrying him. You need to be out of the picture and then he'll either miss you badly enough to try to change his attitude and actions or not. You do not need to be abused like that. No one does.

Answer 9

I wouldn't move in with him! He won't get any better with time. You are seeing him for what he truly is. He sounds horrible. Make a new life for yourself, meet new people, but don't put any faith in this guy. He deserves to be alone. He can't appreciate you for who you are to him.

Answer 10

he's stressed out and tired and taking it out on your because you're the closest one to him. working that many hours can really drain someone. sit him down and tell him that you understand he's tired and stressed but you will not be his punching bag and that he needs to change or you don't see a future for you with him.