How do you help a family member when they have cancer?

Question

My sister-in-law age 37, just found out the other day that she has melanoma stage 4. She has two boys age 10 and 15, no insurance of any kind and a husband of 11yrs that is soo torn up by the news of his wife. I want them to know I am there for them. They do not want to talk about the "what ifs", but reality is at any time something bad could happen. How can I help them with what they are going through? They live in Texas and I live in Alabama, so seeing them is a problem with distance. I am planning a trip to see them in July.

Answer 1

Dont give up, my dad had cancer too, stage four pancreatic cancer and was given 3 months, he went on other 11 months, why we went to a nutrition specialist, and recommended a huge intake of vitamins, one in particular Vitamin-C. Cancer lives off of sugar, so when a person takes a huge intake of Vitamin-C, cancer cells think they are eating sweet, but are eating acid, so they die. Oranges and limes are fruits and tend to make the cancer think they are eating sweets, but the fact is that those are sour fruits. I know that there are cures out there, but the government does not want you too know, because they will lose lots of money on the medical side. Best of luck and stay positive.

Answer 2

With stage 4 melanoma, I hope you have time to wait till July. I don't say this to be alarming, but I am a hospice nurse and that's a pretty late stage in the disease. I know they do not want to talk about what ifs right now, so all you can do is be ready when they do.

The best thing financially they can do is apply right away for disability from SSI so that your sis-in-law can get on Medicare and/or Medicaid to cover some of the medications she will need. That will also cover hospice care when it becomes necessary, although most hospice organizations have some provisions for charity care. That is definitely the best way to go for the end times, in my opinion. With Stage 4, she probably already qualifies for hospice, and if she signs up with one, they can help her with the SSI, Medicare, etc. But I realize they may not be ready to do this yet, so you will have to play it by ear.

And there's always prayer.

Answer 3

Coming on here & talking to those who have abeen down that road is a good start. For now understanding these folks as a family are in shock. They need time to wrap themselves around this problem they now face. Right now you can do little but to give them some space & time. Let them know that for now you are a phone call away if either of them need to talk. Then step back & give them some time.
A visit at this time may not be what they need, but in time yes. Call often & hear what they say . That will help you see the way to go. Pray for them. They caan use a lot of that, all of them.

Answer 4

You are on the right track. If You live far apart, visiting and letters may be the best thing! Also, from the folks I have toched with cancers, respect their wishes about discussing it all. Let them bring it up if at all, and just try to make positive memories in the moment! Bring stuff to develop pictures while you are at their house and scrapbook the last night you are there together all the pictures you took durring the visit. Do it together! just stay sweet for them and your brother, that is all you can do, and it is a great accomplishment to just love them now without words!
Blessings...

Answer 5

You do what you can for them. Take the boys out so they have quiet time together. Look up oncologists in their area if they need that. Fix a meal or 2 when you are there, and fix and freeze a bunch before you leave.

And if/when the time comes, put them in touch with the local hospice organization. A friend recently died of cancer, and the local hospice was amazing. They were set up to do anything for her and for the family that they couldn't do themselves. You will be amazed at how much they help.

Answer 6

Time is of the essence in this case, it is most likely that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes and further effecting the blood enzyme LDH levels as well. The conventional treatment is chemotherapy. And tests are been done with the following drugs, cisplatin, carmustine, temozolomide,tamoxifen, aldesleukin,dacarbazine and stem cell research. A natural product used externally would be emu oil and internally would be emu oil gel caps.

Answer 7

Call everyday, send cards and ACT NORMAL. The worst thing would be to act sorry for her and make her feel worse then she already feels. It's a horrible part of life and people need support to get through it. Let her confide in you, tell you about her day and how she is feeling. Talk about your trip in July with her and make plans about what you two will do. She will appreciate it and you will hold those memories of her.

Answer 8

see some cancers are very slow slow progressive you can consider like non progressive as squamous cell carcinoma !But cancer is cancer and one has to die sooner or later !Dont say this to any cancer patient this i am writing to you for your understanding !You can help him to come out from this very rough phase of life making him under stable and keeping close relations and finding out ways to make him please and pleasurable !Ask your doctor what is the LIFE still available to him for to LIVE.One should do everything to minimize all pains and discomforts to the patient rather than to prolong the LIFE.Religion is the best solution to this !Keep him attracted to religion and make him more and more religious !Prayer is the last and only thing we can offer ! God bless you and him too ! Always YouRsmE

Answer 9

in the past four years ive lost my Uncle, Grandma and Dad to cancer. the best thing i can tell you do is spend as much time with her as possible. hospice was involved with all three of my family members and they were amazing. if her doctor says theres no chance of survival, call them. trust me, they are angels on earth and they treat you like family. Very helpful.

Answer 10

hey, find somebody with a rife machine. it has a very miraculous recovery rate. i live in tx. my mother has that machine, and she has cured several people in various stages of cancer with that machine. look up the rife technology, it's been around since the 30's. if they are in my area, she can make an appt. with my mother who works with cancer people and their $ situations too.