Should I lie to my kids about the world we live in?

Question

My friend was appalled that I had the news on in front of my 1, 5 and 9 year olds. She thinks kids are too young to understand what they see on the news and they shouldn't be exposed to such things.
I feel as though they should be exposed to the goings on in thier community and the world. I don't want them to be sheltered from what happens in this world, good or bad...and I help them interpret what they see through conversation and life experiences.
I'm not an idiot - I do not and will not allow them to watch adult themed movies/TV shows or play video games featuring violence, etc. But I WANT them to know that there is a war going on and I want to talk to them about and have them make up thier own minds about it. I want them to know that people have the capacity to harm/kill others and that you always need to be aware of that. I'm not going to lie about the world to my children.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject and how you handle these things.

Answer 1

no they are going to find out i maybe wouldnt scare the 5 yr old thoh nightmares could occur

Answer 2

I'm pretty much right down the middle here.

I really don't think making sure very young children understand the dangers and evils of the world benefits them much. Developing their sense of security matters more than making sure they understand early on that the world is bad (or that there is true evil in the world would be a better way to put it.) Children will grow up and learn the sad truths of life soon enough. Why should we make sure they deal with difficult situations if they don't absolutely have to?

A young child lacks the ability to process and deal with information objectively. Their world is small, and it focuses on them, their family and friends, and their activities. Learning about atrocities that they can hear on the news can lead them to believe it will (or probably will) happen to them. A prime example of that is the way children across the nation reacted to 9/11. A LOT of children believed they or their parents weren't safe, and there were a lot of articles and news stories about how to help these kids deal with what had happened.

I think a good idea would be to limit the exposure of the two younger children to the news. The older child may be old enough to be able to hear the news, and with a little help in some cases, understand that much of the news would not effect him or his life. Let's use the example of school shootings, which could easily be the most fear-inducing news topic for children. Even an eight-year-old can have trouble understanding something like statistics. School shootings seem to happen very frequently, but the child may not understand that statistically, the chances of someone coming to his classroom with a gun are practically non-existant.

I think the best course of action would be to limit the amount of news your children are exposed to, and to keep from them entirely stories that can just be too traumatic for them, such as school shootings, violent or graphic details of murders, etc. And keep it short. The six o'clock news is one thing. CNN, with the repetative video and commentary, is quite another.

This is one of those cases where telling the truth is not always telling all you know. Keeping certain things from them for now is not the same thing as lying. Lying would be if you said or implied that there aren't bad people or bad things out in the world. That's not a good option, but neither is telling them (or exposing them to someone who would tell them) everything about the evils of the world.

Answer 3

Well I disagree with having kids watching the news at 1, and probably would wonder about 5, that is my OPINION. I am not a clinical psychologist and therefore can't tell you what harm you are doing if any. I am not a Pediatrician so can't tell you how it effects kids. I also wouldn't call NOT showing them the new "LYING" to them. Did they ASK to start watching the news? I highly doubt it. You wouldn't have been denying them anything they wanted to not FORCE it on them. See how bad I can make YOU look when I focus simply on the bad end? That's why I question you informing them of these things. When they have a conversation they will only get one end basically as you are probably the only one they would be talking about it with. I would probably wait a little more to start have them watching the news so they could REALLY have conversations about things. I am really interested in things when it comes to politics and that area. Yet I wasn't watching the news at 9. Wasn't watching it until late in my teen years probably. It didn't interest me. If the kid will really be interested in something they will gain that interest as time goes by. They won't feel like you lied to them either. To be fair I don't have kids and as I said this is all MY OPINION, so they are YOUR kids and it is up to you to raise them in the way you feel is correct.

Answer 4

You can't really LIE to the kids, but you can shield them from certain things, such as the news, which nowadays, kids really shouldn't be exposed to too much. While it's a good thing to be open with the children regarding certain issues of the world, you can't just allow them to view everything about it. When the VA Tech massacre occurred, I didn't want my kids seeing the news stories about it. However, my husband and I did talk to our son about it, not going into major detail, as he's just turning 8.

As for the war going on, my son is well aware that it's going on, and my daughter... well, she's not even 5 yet, lol, so she doesn't have a clue. It's okay to know that there is a war, just don't go into detail about the killings that go on during one.

Lying to your children is not the way to go, by all means... but not telling ALL is another. Discretion is the key.

Answer 5

My children are 3 & 4. I often find that they have heard or saw something on TV that I wish they had not, but the truth is, life is not all roses. Just last night on animal planet, my daughter wanted to know "Why the men taught there dogs to bite each other?" The world is a crazy and at times mixed up place. And although I would love to shield them from all the cruelity that may be going on, I know that it is an impossible dream.

I try to explain things to them so they can understand. I do maybe try to sugar coat the really scary things, but I do believe that being honest with your children is the best way. Good luck

Answer 6

It's a tough call, but I'd say your 9 yr old is old to know hear about wars, violence, starvation and all that, but your other kids are not.

Children don't get much of a childhood today, with all the increased pressure at schools, the paranoid parents who won't let kids play outside, and things like that.

I tried to let my son be innocent and free from these concerns as long as possible. That really ended on 9/11 when he was 6. I felt he really needed to learn all about that since it would be a major impact on his life and our country. But for the most part kids that age don't really need to see the ugly side of humanity and the world. Let them enjoy their childhood as much as they can, and they'll be able to adjust later when they need to. At least if they end up having a tough time later in life, due to all the trauma the world causes, they can look back at the haven they had as children. Pity the adults that can't do that.

Answer 7

You know your kids the best- However the news today does include a lot of violence and sometimes graphic depictions of events which may be too much for little ones. We record shows and news and "prescreen" most things before we let our kids watch them. You are doing the right thing in exposing them to the realities of what is going on and not keeping them completely sheltered- just use caution as to how much each of them can take in at their age and keep open communication with them.

Answer 8

As long as YOU are talking to them about it, other wise they become desensitize and it will not effect them in the way it should, kids see death and murder on TV don't have the 'remorse or feelings' attached to it. It is good that they are aware of what is going on but at the same time the way the news presents it is like doom and gloom. The positives are HARDLY EVER mentioned on the news...or even in the paper so that too could have a negative effect,...totally agree with teaching kids God is in control of the situation...there is always hope for a better place and people getting help.

Answer 9

I agree they should not be sheltered...that's why you are there to explain to them and show them the ways of the world because seriously...news is media and I don't always believe in what is being said on the news and they (the media) seem to expose (a lot of certain topics) whatever they want YOU to pay attention to at the moment. Anyway, what is the rush in kids knowing about the going-ons in the world? Believe it or not, kids do have enough things going on in their own lives that they worry about (but can't put them into words yet) and add other peoples' worries and sufferings and pain too? They will learn stuff as they get older anyway. Why not let them be kids as long as possible because they only have very short time to be kids! After that, they have a whole life ahead of them to worry about things going on in the world.

I do think that it is too young for your kids to watch the news. I'd wait until they are at least in their teens and even then, I'd take the time to explain to them that just because all these things are going on in the world, don't get paralyzed to doing things that they want to do to make their dreams come true.

I STILL have family meetings with my three teenagers and just last week, we talked about global warmings, school shootings, guns, child molesters, drugs, gangs, their values and beliefs, etc. I have never sat down to watch the news with them but I do discuss things going on around them with them.

Answer 10

I think it's better that they watch the news with you or someone that can explain (on their level) what is going on. I see nothing wrong with letting them watch the news. They are going to hear about some of the issues from other kids and may get confused.
My daughter let my 7 year old granddaughter stay up the other night to watch American Idol's "Idol Gives Back". Not so much for the singing, but to show her that there are alot of kids that don't have it as good as she does. She was enthralled at the footage from Africa and the kids right here in the U.S. She never knew any of the poverty and conditions existed. She even commented to my daughter that she would eat her broccolli when she was told, now that she knows that some kids don't even have that.
Children need to be aware of the world they are growing up in. You wouldn't want them to grow up naive.
I think you are doing right by your children.

Answer 11

I think that this would depend on the child. I do not let my son watch the weather reports when we are having bad weather because he is afraid that he is going to be killed, and no matter how many times you explain that a tornado is not close enough to harm him, he does not understand.

Some children can handle news and it does not affect them, but I have seen it affect children. My best friends son is scarred to go into the college where his mother goes to college because he is afraid he will get shot now because of the VT shootings. He is twelve years old.

On the other hand his sister is just a year younger and she is not affected by it at all.