I have one maid of honor, one matron of honor, and two bridesmaids. I want to ask each of them to do something, without her feeling like a "maid." Do you have any suggestions? I know they want to help, but I don't know what goes into helping-it has been so long since I was a bridesmaid.
2007-04-27 03:42:54 · 8 answers · asked by Learning is fun! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Things will come up that you'll find you need help with- when that happens- ask. You'll be surprised how willing they are to help. I've asked each to do something relating to what I think is their interest/strength area. Also, I would never hand them an actual list- kindly asking them in person or over the phone is the way to do it without making them feel like a maid.
2007-04-27 07:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by blondissima622 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main function of a bridesmaid is to be a buffer and to follow the orders of the Maid of Honor. Talk to your maid of honor about how you want the day to go, if shes good, she'll head off most of the stuff before it even gets to you without being asked to because a good MOH anticipates everything and doesnt mind being bossy nor bitchy in order to keep your day as blissful for you as possible. I wouldnt suggest specifically tasking anyone to do something, just let them gather around you and help in their own ways, they will know what to do without being told.
Good luck! It must be only about 3-4 weeks until your day now, can you believe its gone so fast!
2007-04-27 04:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very smart to give your bridesmaids a list of things you'd like them to do, it cuts down on the biggest issue between brides and their bridesmaids--communication breakdowns. There are some generic things you can ask them to do to help you, but some things will be more specific to your particular wedding.
--address/assemble invites
--make phone calls to those who didn't RSVP
--assemble favors (if you're having them)
--pick out shoes/accessories for their dresses
--write out place cards for the reception
--help pick out music for reception
--help with decorating for the reception (if you're not hiring it done)
Just remember, whenever you ask them to do something for you, they have lives of their own, and jobs of their own, and chores of their own that they have to do as well. Be mindful of any time issues they may have. Also, remember on some things, you don't have to do it as a mass group, you can divide the invites up among you and 4 girls, and take them all home and assemble them while doing laundry and fixing dinner, and then bring them all back the next day or so. Good luck and congrats on the upcoming wedding!
2007-04-27 04:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have only a Matron of Honor. So far she is going to: sew her own gown, make the tin cans and old shoes thing for back of car, help me with dress and make-up in AM, hold bouquet during ceremony, when hubby lifts blusher for kiss she will arrange it nicely before we walk back down, give a speech at dinner.
2007-04-27 05:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Maria S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know we did with my groomsmen but I didn't have that much for my maids to do. But yes it is good if they each have a task. My groom had brunch with all the groomsmen on the wedding day and gave them each their assignments for the day.
One of my groomsman was in charge of my groom. He was I running ragged day of b/c he had not taken advantage of the opportunity to get the subwoofer for the dj and bring the dj equipment over to the reception hall the day before. So the best man was in charge of making sure my groom wasn't late.
Another 2 groomsmen went to pick up the fountain. It couldn't be picked up until noon and the wedding was that evening. So they went to pick it up and delivered it to the reception hall and set it up while I was getting my hair done. They also picked up the keg of beer for the reception and helped unpack the wine that needed to go in the fridge.
Another groomsmen was in charge of picking up the grooms cake and the antique car (it was his dad's car) that we were using for pictures.
I was lucky and we were able to deliver everything to the church the day of the rehearsal--so it all went into the bridal room the day before. The programs, the decorations. But I had one maid in charge of making sure all those programs made it to the church the day before.
The church had a wedding director who would be there when the florist delivered everything.
And I kept my sister with me at all times so that if anything suddenly came up--it could be quickly fixed.
One of my bridesmaids doesn't drive so I assigned a bridesmaid to be in charge of picking her up at the bus station and driving her back to the station the next day.
I wear glasses and a watch constantly. Well my mother didn't want me to wear my glasses down the aisle. Afterwards things are so busy that I had my sister in charge of a bag that said "Necessary for the honeymoon" (with my watch, glasses, anything else) and she ran that out to the car so that when we got to the hotel that night--we had it. Otherwise it might have been left in a pile of tulle.
Plus I know when I was a bridesmaid, I preferred having something that was My task. Gave me something to do other than just sit there. And your bridesmaids don't want you to be upset b/c something didn't get to the church. If they saw it and they could have picked it up, but they didn't b/c it wasn't their task and didn't want someone to think it was "lost". I was in charge of scuffing the brides shoes so she wouldn't slip.
As a bridesmaid you want to assist the bride in any way possible to make this day as wonderful as possible for her. If all you have to do is pick up one lil thing, you don't feel like a "maid servant" but instead a good friend, who helped relieve a lil bit of stress.
There are so many lil things that need to be done that you know need to be done 3 days before the wedding but by the day of--you are so busy with hair and nails that you won't even think of them much less have the time to do it--so yes it is best to go ahead and give everyone a task beforehand.
2007-04-27 04:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggestions:
-Help pick out accessories for their dresses
-Address invitations
-Help with suggestions for your music (First Dance,etc)
-Help to find Host Hotel for out of town guest
-Help to create newsletters for entire wedding parties to update each person on pertinent info and deadlines
married 11/27/04
2007-04-27 03:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by salesdiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am making a list of what they need to make sure they get before they leave, like my guestbook, top layer of the cake, ect... I don't want anything left behind.
2007-04-27 04:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't at all. I wanted them to be there to stand up for me and support us as a couple, so that's all I asked of them!
2007-04-27 04:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋