Is my relationship almost over?

Question

My boyfriend an i have been together for a year and three months, and living together for 7 months. Lately he's been saying things like he thinks im about to leave him, and he thinks that im not happy. I have always made noises in my sleep and he gets mad over that. He says that im moaning and who am i dreaming about. Half of the time i don't even remember my dreams.He gets mad if he sees me using my cell phone which my friends usually text me joke after joke. He's accused me of cheating on him and i haven't. The last relationship he had, the girl dogged him out, and i think that he expects me to do the same. Sometimes when we have arguements, i accuse him of living in the past, which he does. We can't expect to be happy, if he sets low standards for us based on his previous relationships. I am happy until he starts this crazy sh** with me. I think that maybe he accuses me of these things because he is guilty of something and chooses to blame me?? So should i stay or should i go??

Answer 1

Hmm, I'm thinking you've already talked to him, but if you haven't, try doing that. Let him know exactly what you just stated here. He needs to realize that there are two really significant things, aside from love, that are extremely important in a relationship: trust and communication. He doesn't, or at least is acting like he doesn't have much trust in you and believes that things won't work out because of you. Also, he's going about this in a very immature fashion. He's assuming the worst with out really seeing if that's how it is on your side.

I'm not sure if your relationship is really "over," but maybe it's just at the point where he is expecting something out of it and you're just not understanding what it is because he's too busy accusing you of things you didn't/don't do. Talk to him. See what's going on in his mind and if there's anything you can do. Otherwise, this'll all get too annoying and you'll get fed up with being blamed for things that aren't true. Relationships are about being happy, not stress.

Good luck and I hope you both figure out what's best for you! :)

Answer 2

I think its time to move on. When you dont trust someone then you are always going to be in doubt. Perfect example: ME! My bf really cheated on me 5yrs ago and gave me herpes and everytime he doesnt answer his cell phone, or he is acting a little weird my first thought is he's CHEATING. I am still debating whether or not to stay. If its like this now its always going to be like this unless I make the choice of walking out now and not later when its too late. good luck!

Answer 3

Just before you get out of there you should ask him what is his real problem. He is describing seemingly little things about you that he doesn't like. That sort of thing usually starts from something bigger.

For example Suzie says something mean to me one day... I'm upset and start talking about it to my friends,

me "suzie's mean to me today"
other "she is mean at times"
me "and she smells, and she once wore this dress that made her bum look big, and she goes on and on..."
other "yeah she's a real *****"
me "we shouldn't be friends"

Its like we have to convince ourselves that she truly is horrible by getting "evidence" about her being bad. The stupid thing is, before hand this "evidence" wouldn't have bothered us at all, we are just using it to justify to ourselves the main point... which is stupid, but human.

These excuses seem pretty petty, hello moaning in sleep, using your cell phone, projecting behavior onto you.

My brother used to be the biggest player man whore ever, he loves his latest girlfriend and lately he's been paranoid that she'll cheat on him because he always cheated on his other girlfriends. He's half expecting it too happen. So there's a really good chance your boyfriend is projecting what his ex's did to him because it happened before, that's his experience, he's waiting for it to happen again.

You need to sit down with him and have a long talk with him and ask him what his real problem is and see if you can help him get over it. You might you might not.

The important thing to find out is whether this is his personality, or just him acting strange for a while. If its his personality to insult you and pay you out, then you need to get out of there and find someone who treats you nicely.

Answer 4

Love and happiness will make you stay and try to work it out by proving to him that you won't dog him out you just have to take it day by day but if you love him or don't love him and you are not happy then you can't be together because eventually you will leave him

Answer 5

Ur right hes had a dodgy past and hes taking it out on u... his lack of confidence in himself and u is ruining ur relationship.

Go away with him for a couple of days make it clear that u need to talk about ur realtionship. I think at the end of ur break both of u will be clearer about where ur headed.

Answer 6

Tell him that you can't go on this way. Let him know that if he doesn't changes his point of view and possesiveness, then you might have to leave him. Don't push it on him or raise your voice. Have a quite conversation and walk out of the room. Thats all.

Answer 7

Stay for a while and sit him down to calmly discuss this situation instead of getting into a huge fight about it. Then if he can't understand and still treats you like this, then leave him.

Answer 8

i didnt even read the whole thing and i think you should go because it sounds like you are still trying to figure stuff out and he doesnt trust you. if you are faithful and innocent then he has his own problems. dont let him drag you down because he is a little nuts.

Answer 9

You're not going to get anywhere with this guy. He too involved with his own insecurities. Be wise and get out of this relationship, before it gets worse.

Answer 10

Yea