Too Young, Too Fast, Now What?

Question

What would you do?

My bf and I met when we were 16. We fell head over heels for eachother, and I moved in with him shortly before my 18th bday.

I'm now 23, we've been together for 7 years, and lived together for almost 6 years. No children, just us.

We bought our own home a year ago and ever since, I have felt so bummed out. After we moved in I was over come with this feeling of "thats it? now what?".

I feel so dissatisfied. And like maybe everything moved too fast. Yes, it's been 7 years but we're still soo young and looking back, I wish I had stayed at home with my parents longer. And I wish that I had maybe got a place of my own first.

My boyfriend is my best friend, but after living together so long there isn't much spark anymore. He's so settled, and I feel the complete opposite which he doesn't understand. And we haven't even married yet.

I feel like there has to be more to life then this. I need to know, but I dont want to lose my boyfriend.

What would u do?

Answer 1

Maybe what you need to feel fulfilled is to look for a life outside your boyfriend. You could pick up a hobby or take a class. Make new friends. Maybe you could give of your time to help others. Find something that helps give your life meaning.

I'm not saying to leave your boyfriend, but you don't indicate much of a life without him. He is not the center of your world, but rather a large part of it. You are entitled to have part of your life separate from him. It might even add to your relationship, knowing that there are parts of your lives that are separate.

Answer 2

So my question to you is...if you dump him and go and find another guy do you think it is going to be any different?
I do not agree with the fact that you moved to fast, except I still believe you should get married first.
You obviously love him deeply. Buying a house is actually a great investment as long as you didn't buy to much house that you cannot afford it.
You just need to learn to talk mans language. Men are animals of physical attraction. Are you still dressing the way you did 7 years ago?
Men are ego people. We love to be told how manly we are and that we are doing a great job at what ever we are doing.
Men need to be lifted up.
You yourself said that he is your best friend. Then treat him like so, spend time with him like so.
As far as you are concerned...you are living in your past. I lived there a long time. Take my advice and don't waste anymore time there. The object of life is to lay on your deathbed and say I have lived a full life and have no regrets.
Start looking to your future. Start planning your wedding, start planning to fill those extra bed rooms with kids. Maybe remodel a part of the house.
The only thing that is different is that your life is at a standstill. But that is your responsibility to keep it moving to the next step.
Take a vacation, just the two of you. Make the time to get away and spark that relationship. Start making a date night every week. Leave little notes for him in his briefcase or his lunch. Text him a "I'm waiting 4 u...hurry home 143" Message.
Now, I have talked about what you should do. The magic to this is..."you would be amazed at what we men will do for woman who does what I just described."
We will take time with you, we will listen to you (tells us though is you want an answer or not-HAHA), we will give you massages and buy you flowers, we will automatically begin to spend time with you and on you.
Why?...Because that is how God made us!
If you have found the one you love...there is nothing more to life.
I would keep him!

p.s.: The Grass is never greener on the other side. Spend time reseeding and fertilzing what you already have.

Answer 3

Well first of all you 2 are now grown up and yes i think you moved to fast but you still love your boyfriend otherwise you wouldn't be asking advise! I personally think you 2 should act like you just met and get to know each other from the start as you have changed! Ex: Send him a text msg asking him out on a date to the movies do the things you did in the beginning of you're relationship! Don't take your relationship for granted and do stuff that the other one won't expect! Candelight dinners stuff like that and put some effort into the small things that we so often take for granted!!!!
MOST IMPORTANT TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!
Good luck

Answer 4

Been there... done that...

Well, its over... its time to move on, you gave it your best...

What happens, when you were both younger, you shared the same ideas, same goals, now that you have both matured, things are different, you don't have the same things in common, you have different ideas of what life should be, and to make it worse your young, and you haven't been given a chance to be young...

Good luck, but from speaking from past experience, its pretty much over...

 

Answer 5

darling you have it good be greatful, stay where you are coz if you go out and explore u will regret it and your not missing out on much you have everything right in the palm of your hands.enjoy and appreciate what u have. next step is to get married and start a family and believe me its the most honerable thing in life...... but thats just from my point of view others may beg to differ...... good luck

Answer 6

Hey my friend......
You have waste 7 years with but didn't earn anything....
its time to leave him for a while for upgrade yourself(study) and also spend time with your parents, family and friends.....
You are now in a cell ,you need to get out of it to look for your better future.....
start your new life from now........don't wait till you regret....

Answer 7

Personally, I would get out of the relationship to have some space to myself. To rediscover who I am...

Answer 8

Sit and discuss.