Jehovah's Witnesses - should you shun me?

Question

I was raised as a JW and baptised. I used to pioneer. SEveral years ago I simply stopped attending meetings. I lead a wholesome life. I have broken no rules. I am not disphellowshipped nor did I disassociate myself. Yet I am shunned. I've been yelled at in the supermarket by people I once considered close friends.

Why? Is there scriptual backing for that? Shouldn't I have been invited to the memorial at least once in the last 4 years? Shouldn't the elders have at least contacted me? Why am I being shunned?

I'd like to add that I am absolutely NOT disassociated or disphellowshipped.

I am not *intentinally* trying to mislead anyone. I should have clarified that the yelling incident happened a couple of years ago and since then I have been shunned.

Most of the JWs responses show such lack of love to me. Which is what I am trying to emphasise in my question. YES i know how to get to the hall. But why has no one made attempts to find out why I don't come along. Its hypocritical.

Only one JW showed love and true compassion in their answer. Agape. I wish her all the best. She is in the minority of JWs who genuinally care about people.

Answer 1

I'm not a JW but found the answers interesting. Especially the JW answers. Have none of them thought to mention the need to pray for those who leave - to seek God's direction as to how they could encourage them back into the fold? If even one or two could say that they regularly pray for those who stop attending, that would be a spiritually healthy attitude to adopt. Mind you, I remember reading a long time ago some Watchtower article that said JWs were NOT to pray for certain ex-members at the Kingdom Hall. They might have committed "the unforgivable sin" [against the Holy Spirit]. To pray at a meeting could give the wrong impression that they had not committed such a hideous sin (though how any individual JW could possibly know whether someone who slid out the back door had sinned against the Holy Spirit was not explained.) Maybe that's been changed now. I hope so. It would be lovely to read a JW answer saying, without judging, that they'd pray for you and trust God to help you.

Answer 2

Jehovah's Witnesses do not 'shun' people who are inactive.
However, just because you don't write a letter doesn't mean you haven't disassociated yourself. If you told your mum that you didn't want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses anymore then guess what, you have disassociated yourself.

As far as the incident in the supermarket you have to remember there are always three sides...your side, the other person's side and what really happened. Obviously there were some strong emotions being expressed, and your once close friend is human just like you are.

You obviously were hurt that you didn't receive an invite to the Memorial, and I am sorry about that, but if you really wanted to go to the Memorial, why didn't you? As you know, there is always an open door at the Kingdom Hall. It is your relationship with Jehovah. Romans 8:35-39 tells us that nothing can separate Jesus and Jehovah's love from us... There is only one thing that can stop them from loving you, and that is your own willful rejection of their love.

Answer 3

I have to agree with achtung_heiss when he says “questioner may be **intentionally** misrepresenting matters around her interactions with the local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses and with individual Witnesses.”

I noticed the part where the questioner stated that she did not disassociate herself. Yet she is shunned.” So if you’re still associating with those who are still serving Jehovah how is it that you are shunned?

Point to questioner….Since you were a pioneer you already know whether or not there is a scriptural backing for why you were “yelled at” and SINCE you grew up in the truth AND pioneered you already know that you don’t just sit around and wait for someone to invite you to do what the Bible says. You just get up and go do it, like going to the memorial. Also since you were raised in the truth, are baptized AND pioneered you already know that the elders do not go out policing and making sure that you are doing what Jehovah asks of you.

I am answering this question under the assumption that the questioner is trying to discredit those who STILL choose to server an oh SOO loving God, Jehovah.

Oh yeah and I put the ** on Intentionally.

Remember Luke 15:7 I tell YOU that thus there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who have no need of repentance.

Answer 4

Hi Pamela. I hope that someday you will realize that it is Jehovah that we are serving and want to pleased. Remember what Jehovah said in Proverbs 27:11? He said, "Be wise, my son, and make my heart rejoice, that I may make a reply to him that is taunting me."

You mentioned that you were a Pioneer. As a former pioneer, you know that we do a lot of personal study which makes us become very familiar with the Bible. I don't understand why you are asking if there is any scriptural backing in regards to how some of your former close friends are treating you. Yet, like what others have said, there are 2 sides to a story. I'm not saying what your former friends did to you is right---.---

I'm glad you are not disfellowshipped and frankly, I would have considered you as inactive but the way you posted the question about your situation made me change
my mind. I feel that (i hope i'm wrong) well---- seems like you have disassociated yourself.

A person who is inactive even if they become so weak that they no longer share the ministry with others and stop attending meetings, and they are not bringing reproach on the Christian congregation, they are still to be regarded as our spiritual brothers and sisters.

Yet, you posting this question in the way you did....brought reproach not only on the congregation but to Jehovah.

I know it is hard to serve Jehovah when you have been discouraged by other members of the congregation. I know because I've struggle with that as well. But I am still serving Jehovah despite of that. Why? Because I want to be wise and make Jehovah's heart rejoice and may Jehovah reply to Satan, that is taunting Him. Pamela, if you still have that love for Jehovah, do not let the "weakness" or imperfection of some members of the congregation stop you from getting close to God and having that bond with Jehovah again. Times are so short...and Satan is doing EVERYTHING to get people to turn away from Jehovah.

You are not being shunned. Don't let Satan make you believe that you are....because you are not.

(sigh deeply)........... i know i did not exactly answer your question but i took this chance to give you some sisterly advise.

Answer 5

I know plenty of inactive Witnesses. I don't shun them. I am very friendly with them. I always encourage them to come back into the organization. I don't know what is happening in your case. Remember, there are 2 sides to every story. How do I know that the elders did not try to contact you. And besides, since you know what you should be doing, do you have to wait for someone to come around and find out why you miss meetings? Wouldn't it be nice to put forth SOME effort to come back?

Instead of posting your concerns in an open forum where you no doubt will receive stupid and erroneous advice, contact the local Kingdom Hall for help.

If I can help, you know how to contact me.

Answer 6

I dont understand how and why a baptised witness,who used to pioneer no less would ask such a question on such an open forum??
What prevents you from making the first move to reconcile with Jehovah?
Why dont you contact the Elders and ask them and ask them instead of asking a bunch of worldly people?
Why would you want to bring reproach to Jehovah this way?

Answer 7

This so-called "question" seems puzzling.

How does one simultaneously "shun" another and 'yell at her in a supermarket' (at the same time, apparently)?

This rather obvious contradiction seems to indicate that the questioner may be intentionally misrepresenting matters around her interactions with the local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses and with individual Witnesses.


One who is genuine and sincere in looking for association with Jehovah's Witnesses should certainly not avoid the Kingdom Hall, or insist on waiting for a formal invitation. At congregation meetings there a Christian can listen to bible-based talks, listen to the audience participate, even himself offer comments when the speaker asks a question. Before and after the meetings, attendees enjoy communal song and prayer and an interchange of encouragement.

(Romans 1:11-12) For I am longing to see you, that I may impart some spiritual gift to you in order for you to be made firm; or, rather, that there may be an interchange of encouragement among you, by each one through the other’s faith, both yours and mine.

(Hebrews 10:24-25) And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as you behold the day drawing near.


In any event, Jehovah's Witnesses do not pretend that all of their adherents (or even all of their congregation elders) are perfect in all their inter-personal decisions.

(Ecclesiastes 7:20) For there is no man righteous in the earth that keeps doing good and does not sin.


Perhaps there has been some terrible misunderstanding whereby this questioner is believed to be disfellowshipped. Perhaps a person with a name similar to the questioner actually did formally disassociate herself from the congregation.

Some rural congregations are very small, and it may simply be coincidental that many or most of the local Witnesses are struggling with intense personal and/or family challenges which distract them from their Christian responsibility to encourage their spiritual brother or sister.

(2 Corinthians 11:28-29) There is what rushes in on me from day to day, the anxiety for all the congregations. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is stumbled, and I am not incensed?


A remote possibility is that many or most of the congregation have "marked" this questioner because of a pattern of behavior which proves her to be "bad association" but which is not serious sin (such as employment as an "exotic dancer"). Such "marking" is personal rather than congregational, and applies only to socializing, rather than to spiritual fellowship and simple conversation.

(2 Thessalonians 3:14-15) But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter, keep this one marked, stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed. 15 And yet do not be considering him as an enemy, but continue admonishing him as a brother.

(Leviticus 19:17) You must not hate your brother in your heart. You should by all means reprove your associate, that you may not bear sin along with him.


Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/19951101a/article_01.htm
http://jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

Answer 8

Okay, your story fell apart when you said you had not disassociate yourself.

As a witness, you would know that no longer attending meetings means you have disassociated yourself.

So I have to question the rest of what you say. What congregation did you attend?

Disfellowshipped
August 1982
Corning, CA

Answer 9

The sad thing is that, once you get into the nitty-gritty, Jehovah's Witnesses are not the holier than thou religion they want people to think they are. You're right - in fact, if you ever look through the literature they give elders you'd see that they are actually told to call up people who stop going to meetings and see what happened. No matter what, all members of a congregation are supposed to be uplifting and supporting, and are supposed to encourage you to come back. It's problems like this within the religion that made me leave, because I saw simply too much hypocrisy.

Good luck in whatever you decide for your future.

Answer 10

John 14:6
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Pray to Jesus for all your ?'s and He will answer you. There is freedom in Jesus. The truth will set you free.

John 8:31-32
31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Here is Ex Jehovah Witnesses testimonies & why they left.
http://www.witforjesus.org/jehovahs_witness/testimonies/jw_ex-jw.php

Numbers 6:24-26
24 “The LORD bless you and keep you;

25 The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

26 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’