How do you give the perfect spanking?

Question

For example, should there be both a period of firmness followed by a period of softness or even affection? Would it be more memorable if the Spanker wear some sort of authoritarian uniform. Should the spanker speak, or stay silent like an executioner? Could a public spanking be more memorable or should it be a special private thing. How would I even know what the correct tempo and severity be? Here is one idea...SMACK!...caress...caress (the learner gets up to leave but gets pulled back over my lap) caress...slap...SLAP, SLAP...tap, WHACK! Grip hard...caress...slapityslapityslapityslapity (two hands at same time)...slopityflapityslopityflapity (bannana being used). And I haven't even considered what the learner should wear!

Answer 1

I have to say that I think both lili_dela_vallee's and PhilipK's answers seemed off to me, because both take the viewpoint of a very specific side of spanking. I think that I can offer a viewpoint that is both more universal in scope, but also simpler to consider. This is also the philosophy that has made me as popular and successful of a spanker as I am today.

The trick to giving the perfect spanking is..... to know your spankee.

Not all spankees are created equally. Does your spankee have an inherent need to be spanked, or simply a strong desire? Is it discipline and punishment that she needs to be a good girl, or is it a sexual reward for how good she already is? Does the spanking need to be hard? Soft? Fast? Slow? Somber? Playful? What part of the bottom is most sensitive? Does she prefer private or public spankings? It might be any of these, a combination of several, or none at all.

The "perfect spanking" is different for each person that might be spanked, leading to the possibility of thousands of ways to give a "perfect spanking." There is no simple answer, other than to learn what works for you and your mate, and go from there.

I think of spankings in terms of six characteristics. These are erotic, sensual, playful, therapeutic, disciplinary, and punishment. At any time, a spanking can have any combination of one or more of these characteristics, with the exception of disciplinary and punishment, which can never cross.

One of the most common spanking that I"ve given is a spanking for when a young lady is being a brat. A "brat" is a spankee that misbehaves in small, playful ways to get spanked for it. She'll often put up a gentle fight to be put over your knee, and whine and "cry" to be let up. This spanking isn't erotic, like PhilipK's, and isn't disciplinary/punishment, like lili_dela_vallee's. It is merely lighthearted play. If you ever attend a spanking party, this is the most common spanking that you'll see given. You won't see punishment or erotic, except on rare occasion. (At the last large spanking party that I went to, there was one person that just couldn't stop talking about orgasms from spanking. While a sparse few actually enjoyed this talk and his attempts to play with them sexually, the majority ended up being disinterested in him, because he was so single-mineded in his spanking. He's become something of a running joke among them, now, and is referred to as the "Big O.")

Once you try to assign any specifics to the "perfect" spanking, then you make it imperfect for a good number of possible spankees. If you prepare yourself to listen to what the spankee wants, either by talking, or indirectly by reading into her behavior, then you'll be much more successful as a spanker, and known by your peers as being able to give the "perfect" spanking, no matter what that means.

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How do you give the perfect spanking?
For example, should there be both a period of firmness followed by a period of softness or even affection? Would it be more memorable if the Spanker wear some sort of authoritarian uniform. Should the spanker speak, or stay silent like an executioner? Could a public spanking be more memorable or...

Answer 3

There can't be hard and fast rules for the 'perfect' spanking. It all depends on the two individuals involved, on mood, circumstance, time and place, on how intimate they are with each other and a dozen other imponderables. The Spencer Plan rules quoted by Lili dela Vallee are interesting but - to me - rather outdated and far too rigid. For example, the insistence that the spanking should take place in silence, with the woman not permitted to plead or protest. What if both of you enjoy that kind of thing? Personally, I love a good response - yelps, gasps, promises of good behaviour (however implausible) and pleas for forgiveness are all part of the sweet music of spanking, and add enormously to the erotic fun of the experience.

That said, there are certain elements that for me - and in most cases - make for a perfect spanking. It should be given otk (over the knee) and on the bare bottom. I always like to begin with a hand-spanking, starting out with fairly light spanks, just hard enough to sting, and gradually getting harder - not only for the intimacy of skin-on-skin, but because it provides the ideal warm-up, and a hand-spanked bottom blushes so beautifully. And I like to pause every so often for rubbing and stroking - and for more intimate caresses if we're on those terms.

Once she's been well warmed up (I'm talking M/F here, since that's my thing), it's fun to go on to paddle, hairbrush, slipper, tawse, or whatever I think she can take and that turns us both on. And - as noted above - I like to know from her yelps, squeals and wrigglings that my efforts are being appreciated.

Afterwards? Certainly not walking coldly out of the room, a la Spencer Plan, but tender aftercare. Hugs, cuddles, kisses, some lotion to soothe the fiery bottom cheeks, and - more often than not - passionate sex. Perfect? Pretty close to it.

Answer 4

OK TJ, My over seas spanker, Mr. Philip K said it best and he really should get the best answer this time. His spankings sound delicious and I hope I can visit London sometime so I can recieve a proper one. However, on very rare occassions I reqiure a very severe punishment spanking... so if that's your thing, then I suppose I will be visiting Australia some day. Or perhaps you can deliver both types?

Answer 5

perfect spanking=swinging back for good momentum...following through from your elbow...sorta sliding as the spank actually occurs...then directly after rubbing for a few seconds before repeating.
OR a paddle is always good

Answer 6

Never really thought much into this. All I know is that when I'm on all fours, my husband's behind me and he slaps my bare left butt cheek, it's never hard enough for my liking. I ask for it harder, and he obliges. Just one good, hard "whack" is perfect in my book. Few seconds, another hard whack. This goes on for a minute or so. Yes, it's painful, but I liken it to the pain of getting a tattoo...it hurts, but it's a good hurt.

Answer 7

I'm going to quote from the Bible and it only talks about spanking for children from parents.

Read Psalms 23:4 before thinking about trying to understand whatever else the rod signifies in the Old Testament.

I'd stay away from it if I were you.

Answer 8

It depends on the individual. There are guys who enjoy lying across the lap to get spanked, guys who like to get their pants pulled down and smacked with a large book, etc. Many spankees love to be told how naughty they've been too. Umm, have fun with your, um, endeavors.

Answer 9

LOL I really hope you are talking about adults here, and a consensual encounter.

If you go check out BDSM sites, you will find a myriad of methods and opinions.

Here is some interesting information that was posted to a list I am a member of. It was originally written in 1936:

HOW A MODERN SPANKING SHOULD BE GIVEN

A question many people ask, when first taking up modern discipline, is: "How
long should a spanking last? About how many slaps should be given?"

There can be no definite answer to such a question. I do not recommend any
certain stated number of slaps. The idea is always to continue the spanking
until you believe it has been effective without at any time resorting to
unnecessary harshness or uncalled for severity.

It has been found that comparatively mild slapping, applied to the buttocks, can
be made to sting effectively, without doing one particle of damage or leaving
any evidence of unpleasant, harsh treatment. The object is to sting the
flesh--make the whole spanking surface hot and tender--so that the repeated
application of the descending hand is severe enough to make the recipient
realize she is really being disciplined.

By spanking the buttocks long enough, first in one spot and then another, the
woman experiences enough stinging discomfort to get a real lesson out of the
experience. Her flesh is not harmed--it just becomes pink and sore enough to
make her realize she will be very glad when it is over. As most women cry very
easily, if the spanking is prolonged just a few minutes--even in this careful
and really mild manner-- a few beneficial tears are often shed before the
discipline ends.

Here is the program most couples follow:

When a spanking is to be given, the wife is directed to go to her room and get
ready. This means she is to undress and wait up in her room until her husband
comes up to discipline her.

When her husband enters the room there should be no delay in carrying out the
discipline. She must not argue about the matter--beg to be let off--or show any
sign of resentment. She must obey without a word.

It is best not to say a single word during this period.

The wife should quietly place herself across her husband's lap--after he seats
himself on the edge of the bed. Holding her in place, in the age-old spanking
position, he begins spanking her. His duty is to do
a thorough job-- taking the utmost pains to do it right.

The spanking over--and still without speaking--the husband should let his wife
up, then quietly leave the room.

It is the wife's duty--after dressing and drying her tears (if the spanking has
provoked any) to go to her husband then, thank him for administering the
discipline--and kiss him.

If this seems hard to do, you have lost the true spirit of the Plan and you must
MAKE YOURSELF DO IT in order to win it back!

Friendly relations should then be immediately re-established.




IS SUCH DISCIPLINE REALLY HELPFUL?

There can be no question of it. While women know that Spencer Spankings are SAFE
SPANKINGS--they are still spankings. And any spanking hurts enough to convey a
good-lesson.

It causes the lady to think twice before repeating the offense she is punished
for! It is an experience that makes an impression something that is remembered
beneficially.

Women are for it because it gives a QUICK ADJUSTMENT of the difficulty--without
a tiresome lecture or scolding. Few women, after becoming used to spankings,
would discard the idea for anything in the world, but they will all tell you
that the discipline is effective, and something certainly to be avoided if you
can!

That is why it is effective.


HOW A MODERN WHIPPING SHOULD BE GIVEN

If the husband is to be whipped, he is directed to go to his room and get ready
for the punishment

He must obey, without a word of complaint or without uttering a word of
argument.

He should undress--then stretch out full length on the bed, face- downwards. He
must wait in this position, until his wife enters the room--whether she comes in
immediately or keeps him waiting several minutes--as some women do.

As soon as she enters the room, and without speaking, she begins whipping him.
Her job is to whip him efficiently--effectively "but humanely. She must observe
all the rules carefully--but she can, at the same time, make the session quite
effective and truly beneficial.

Some women use a wooden paddle only. Others employ a strap. The great majority
use both. The paddle first-- to warm up the skin good--then the intelligent
application of a leather strap.

A man's belt is often used. Many wives require that this be placed ready for use
when the man takes his whipping position.

A modern whipping does a man good for several reasons First of all, there is the
beneficial humiliation it causes. It is an act of complete submission. Just to
stretch out obediently and get ready for the punishment does him good. Before
the paddle is applied a single time--before a single stroke of the strap is
delivered--the discipline starts being effective and beneficial for this very
reason!

It is an act of surrender--and being a willing gesture of submission-- it does
more good than millions of spoken words would possibly do!

Don't think for a moment that modern women are not learning how to make their
whippings effective, too!

Just because they are using common sense rules that safeguard the practice from
assuming any aspect of brutality--don t think for a single moment that they are
administering "play whippings" or that they can't make the discipline something
to be sincerely dreaded!

If the idea seems silly to you--if you feel it is a foolish notion to believe
that any woman could whip a man effectively "especially under the rules and
regulations -laid down by this Course--you are in for a distinct surprise!

You do YOUR PART, and you can depend on it, SHE WILL LEARN TO DO HERS.

((((((((((NOTE: There were very long and involved contracts included at this point, to be signed by the participants. I deleted them for the sake of brevity since the whole article is so long)))))))))))


Copyright 1936 Dorothy Spencer

Answer 10

First the spanker and the spankee should get naked.
The rest will sort itself out.