Do u think I need counseling? People tell me I do, but I don't think so.?

Question

People tell me I "shelter" my 2 younger kids too much (4 & 6yrs old) and that I am codependent. I keep my kids close and I cry just think about them growing up and leaving me. Im pretty sure its because I lost my mom and dad two weeks apart 2 yrs ago and about 10 yrs ago I lost 2 other children during a divorce (LONG story, but husban had more money & better lawyer) I'm still very close to them and they are older now and understand ALL that happened back then. In fact, they both kinda don't care much for their dad now that they know whole story. Anyway, I also found out that I was adopted a couple yrs ago and that my sister was actually my mom. I just think lots of people have their problems & counseling isn't going to help. You just have to deal with it and hope that time will help heal some wounds. Shouldnt it be up to me if I get counseling or not. I think Im fine.

Answer 1

Personally, I think EVERYONE should have a good counselor...maybe the world would be a bit happier. ;) I think if you gave counseling a shot you'd find it extremely helpful. In addition to helping me get over some major catastrophic life events, my counselor is that "disinterested party" that listens to me vent and helps me focus on what I need to do in order to have a happy and successful life. I consider mine a "life coach," and see her every month or so, more frequently if I'm struggling with something going on in my life. While she never tells me what to do, she's great for bouncing ideas off of. I just wish I'd gotten over the stigma of being in counseling earlier...I probably would have been saved a lot of extra heartache.

Answer 2

I don't think that there is anyone out there that couldn't use a little bit of therapy. Therapy can be very constructive if it is something that you are open to. It does not have to be taboo, everybody finds ways of dealing with their problems. The point is just to make sure that you really do deal with them. I think that in your case, having gone through so many huge, life changing events, that sitting down and talking with someone who is objective and professional would really benefit you. A therapist is not going to tell you how to deal with your problems, but guide you in finding the answers that you are comfortable with, and how to make changes accordingly (an aspect in life that some may never embark on). Growth is always good, especially when there are kids in the picture. I would encourage you to atleast check it out. Also, codependancy is a very real issue that effects both you and those involved with you. I would recommend reading, or atleast skimming "Facing Codependancy". I think that you will find that alot of people have codependant tendancies to some degree. Reading through your list of life experiences, i feel that, for your own sake, you really need to validate yourself-- the things you have been through are real, they are difficult, and though they are things you may have accepted and have maybe even grown to appreciate, you cannot down-play them. You owe it to yourself.
Hope that helps some, and take care.

Answer 3

The stance that time will help may be great for you. But since friends are noticing that something may not be quite right, you ought to take a look at what your phobias and hangups may be doing to your children.

Take some time, step back and watch how you're raising them. Are your actions consistent with how you want them to view life? If so then, OK, you probably just need time. But if this is not how you want to teach them to view the world then finding a good counselor who can help you heal your life faster might not be such a bad idea.

Only you can make that call though.

Answer 4

Wow, you have been through a lot. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you though if you go to counseling. You could talk to someone (only if YOU want to) to see if a professional thinks you shelter your kids too much. I know it is hard to hear criticism from people when you are doing what you think is right.

Time does heal a lot of wounds.

Answer 5

Since your friends are concerned about you and feel they can't provide the support you need for your problems you might seriously look into going to counseling.

Why are you resisting? Do you consider asking for professional assistance a sign of weakness or are you afraid of being labeled "crazy"?

What if talking to someone would help you raise your young ones to become secure, confident, healthy and happy adults? or help you put your past in perspective and help you cope with your profound sadness over just the mere thought of your kids growing up and leaving your home.

Who should you talk to? would it be okay for you to talk to your Minister? would you ask your Primary Care Physician for a recommendation or from your friends or select a place to go from the yellow pages.

Think this over - it isn't a life sentence - no one needs to know. Share your concerns with your new therapist - find another therapist until you feel comfortable.

Answer 6

Need it?!

It would be better to say, "You've had it rough. I sure wish I could understand your life experiences and offer some assistance so you can get in harmony with life."
All I can say is, "It helps if you know people who have had similar experiences in life to talk with."
"Need it! No you don't need it, but if you go to a group where others have similar experiences you will see how tight you have pulled in the reigns and can slack up a little."

Answer 7

It is up to you to decide if you want counseling and if you don't think you need it you're never going to get it. I think it might be helpful considering some of the stressfull/traumatic things you've been through. What could it hurt? Why are you afraid?

Answer 8

i'm Catholic too, and to be straightforward I merely about left the church until eventually a gay-pleasant Priest talked to me at a function and instructed me that there are a number of contributors of the church that do not trust Rome's stance on homosexuality - and are completly supportive of open sexuality. I recommend you stumble on a extra pleasant Priest that you'll be able to communicate in self belief to. That being suggested, the reason your son would not favor counselling is because, to be frank, he's performed not something incorrect. you could help your son through being there for him, reassuring him (without making a huge deal about it), and providing a lot of hugs and making particular existence maintains on as time-honored. If he starts seeing someone and needs you to satisfy them, attempt your perfect to be open and inviting to boot. that could want to be the authentic attempt for you and your spouse: are you able to agree for his existence totally even as the time comes. in case you could, your son will be between the most blessed and grateful toddlers in the international. popping out of the closet - ESP. THE CATHOLIC CLOSET - might want to be very, very scary. you ought to truly income from the quantity of braveness it took on your son to inform you what he did and to confide what's probable his inner maximum darkest secret to you. I only favor my mom and father were extra accepting. Mine kicked me out of the homestead and nonetheless slightly examine with me. you've performed extra on your son than you'll ever comprehend, and in time your household will enhance and be healthful and rich.

Answer 9

It's up to you. If you think your fine then thats how you see it. If other people think your not then that is how they see it. Its all about how you see the world you live in and how you want your world to be or what you are used to and also how other people see the world they are in. Wouldn't hurt to try counselling especially if they pay for you ;)

Answer 10

I think you're fine.

An average American pays out huge sums of money to hear what they already know and understand.

So long as you know who you are, you don't need counseling. You need good friends, who will love you and support you, when you think this way. Friends you can talk to...:)