How do I tell her, that I'm falling for her?

Question

I'd asked this question before, but was unsatisfied with the very few replies...
I have a very good friend. Her and I are very close. We attend church together, I often watch her Warriors session, which is a drumming class, just because I WANT to, and more-over we often just drive around to talk.
We're kind-of-dating-kind-of-not. What I mean by this is that we both care for each other in that way. Hold hands, cuddle, etc. but due to her not having dated very many people in her life, she doesn't want to put the 'dating' label on it. Complex, much?
But yea, every moment I spend with her is the only moments I feel truly at peace. I KNOW I'm not in love with her, because that's a word that's easily thrown around these days, but I also know I more then care for her. I guess you could call it a 'Deep Infatuation'.
No matter what, even if we never went any further then where we are now, I just want her to know that no matter what, I'm here for her, and will always care for her.

I'd also like to add to the list of 'this-is-nots' that this is not lust either, because although I'm very attracted to her, I know how lust feels and honestly, I'm not worried about sex with her at all. I feel perfectly content with holding hands, cuddling, etc.

Well I told her, and she couldn't be happier. We went to prom together, and sat in her van untill 2:00 afterwards just talking, and she said it couldn't have been more perfect. Best answer to come later.

Answer 1

The story is totally irrelevant to what you need to do. You can play around with terminology and the meaning of "love" until the cows come home, but it won't change a thing about what you feel. Just take her out, open up your mouth, and say, "I'm falling for you." You'll know from her reaction what to do next.

Answer 2

Don't worry about the "dating" label. You don't need a name for what you have with her. Just be happy that you are "very good friends".

Now, if you go and tell her how you feel, do you think that it may scare her off or that she may begin to feel pressured that you want to push for something stronger with her? Don't push it. If she wants something more, she'll find a way to let you know.

Tell her this: >>>"every moment I spend with her is the only moments I feel truly at peace...I also know I more then care for her...no matter what, even if we never went any further then where we are now, I just want her to know that no matter what, I'm here for her, and will always care for her." That's beautiful and that's all she really needs to know right now about how you feel about her. If she feels like that too, she'll find a way to let you know if she wants you to know.

Now, for that "Love" word. Get up and go over to the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and say these words three times. I do not love (her name here). Go ahead. I'll wait.

Now, if you did that, you know deep down inside that you were lying to yourself, don't you?

Your a church guy. You know that God will lead the right one to you and you won't be able to do anything about it. Don't push it. If she's the one for you, she won't be able to do anything about it either. You'll end up together if it's to be.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

I mean if you have been friends for a while and you are both comfortable around each other, and neither of you are in a relationship currently....

I would do something romantic...I cant tell you what, because it has to be something that you know that she will like, that I couldnt know....whether it be you cooking her a dinner or something.....

then after you have done whatever it is....sit down somewhere and talk to her....tell her how you feel.....

I am only saying this because you make it sound like she somewhat feels the same.....if she doesnt, then you're gonna come off looking....well....lets just say you dont want to do that..

even if she has similar feelings to you....I wouldnt come on too strong, give her time to react to it....

Answer 4

I think she is a very lucky girl to have someone that cares so much about her.

You guys sound like you are getting pretty close, so I think that you should be able to say straight out to her what you have said in your question, that you are there no matter what and will always care for her.

Also, because she has not dated much, you should make it clear that even though you are telling her how you feel, you are not putting pressure on her to label you two as dating.

Making this clear will show her even more how much you care for her.

Answer 5

I think you should respect her decision to continue a relationship without labels. Calling yourselves "boyfriend and girlfriend" doesn't make it more special. If you care about her as much as you say, try it her way...complex is not always so bad. It will make your life a little more interesting. It is incredibly difficult to find a friend that you make a connection with like the one you described. Tell her that your going to be there when she needs you...the truth is always sexy to a girl. She will make a committment to you when she realizes how much you truly care.

Answer 6

I can already read on, and although this answer may be ignored, I can only tell you one thing, she will NEVER look or feel for you the way you do for her. There are certain lines you cant cross with a girl, and you are her teddy bear, when you want to be her knight... doesnt work like that pimpin. There might be some ways to make it work but email me if your interested [e-mail]

Answer 7

Just tell her wat you're telling us. Go for a long drive - stop at a nice lake or beach (wherever you live) and just sit down and tell her that you really care for her and will always be there. Tell her you will always care for her no matter what.
If you want to date her - then ask directly , dont beat around the bush - a gurl appreciates honesty and a guy being straightforward is a def turn on.
Good luck ,and do tell us how it went.

Answer 8

you gotta find out how she feels towards you, before you decide to open ur mouth. analyze all ur life and ask urself if you think that this might have a future and that you see that person living and/or having something serious with you. and if everythings falls right into place then go to her and tell her of what you have thought (dont be afraid). she will probably be more excited than you if it happens that she wants and feels the same way.

Answer 9

you know you're not in love with her and you said you're falling for her, then ask yourself what are you falling into? how does she act when you're around other women. maybe you can test her and tell her you're thinking about dating someone and see what her reaction is, you can always tell her you were just joking. but if you don't tell her something she might find someone else(yikes). or maybe you can tell her you can't date anyone else because you can't see yourself (hanging out, holding hands, cuddling etc...) with anyone else. if you really care for her, you should tell her. if your feelings are strong don't let her get away. but if you don't take the chance, you could end up regretting it forever

Answer 10

im thinking of this idea,but i'm not sure wether you like it or not..well,i just tell you..you said you are not in love with her but you care for her.....i think you should go to her and express your feelings toward her...you should say,you care for her...you should say your not in love with her because you love her more than you could describe..you should say,you can only feel the truly peace whenever you spend your time with her.GOOD LUCK!