this guy alex really likes me
and he tells me i'm sexy
even when i'm around my boyfriend
and it makes my boyfriend really mad
so he hates him
and doesn't like it when i hang out with him
but i've been friends with alex since like 3rd grade,
so it's a bit weird.
well now alex wants me to go over to his house on friday after school,
and i KNOW his intentions.
how do i say no, i dont want to have sex with you,
but not ruin the friendship??
2007-04-26 18:43:18 · 34 answers · asked by onlyblonde1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just say no.
he doesn't respect your friendship anymore. what do you have to lose?
a selfish "friend" who disrespects your relationship.
it's one thing to hang out as friends, but it's another thing to hang out as more than friends.
i have a lot of guy friends and they all treat me like brothers. they all respect my relationships, and they get along with my boyfriend.
that's what real friendship is about. friends give you respect and the freedom to do what you want.
2007-04-26 18:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sibyl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you love him and all but that it's not in that way. If he's the kind of guy to play around than I wouldn't take this words seriouly. Don't go over to his house on Friday unless your going with some friends. For your boyfriend, tell him how you feel about Alex. That he's your friend and that you don't want to give up his friendship for just some words. Also make sure your boyfriend knows you care for him, only him. If Alex doesn't listen to you is his friendship really worth it? He should apreshate(srry I'm the worst speller ever) your anwser and listen to you, so if he really does like you he will stop harrassing you. Also he most likly only wants you for the sex if he's russing things with you.
2007-04-26 18:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by Enrica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable from both you and your bf's point of view. But ask yourself how important is your bf? And how important is your friend? Ya, probably a hard decision I assume. Just be honest and straight with your friend. Tell him you value his friendship,but that is all you want from him. Ask him to back off (nicely as possible) and the rest is cake. Either he will respect what you are saying or not. And if not is he really a friend worth fighting for? Sounds like your bf is too emotional about this subject to ask him to compromise. That would probably make him feel like you are choosing your friend over him. If your friend is a true friend he won't mind the compromise,because that is what friends are for. Take a deep breath and good luck! P.S. I wouldn't take him up on his invite though, talk to him in a very public place!
2007-04-26 19:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by bulldog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him straight up! Alex we have been good friends for a few years but there is NO WAY I want to have sex with you. So go out and find yourself another girl that wants you in that way.
I ONLY want to be FRIENDS, nothing more!
That should put things straight. And if you go over to his house on Friday you most likely will get laid. Whether you want it or not.
2007-04-26 20:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are old enough to know not to go to Alex's house. If Alex was really your friend he would not try to put the moves on you when you are dating someone. If you go to Alex's I think you will lose your boyfriend. Unfortunately, sometimes in life we must make choices that don't make us totally happy. Tell him you can't go to his house because of your loyalty to your boyfriend or you can invite him to your house with a family member at home. Then you will see if he is really a friend.
2007-04-26 18:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by debk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything depends on you. If you just consider Alex as a friend, you keep distance and have proper etiquette whenever both he & your boyfriend are around. Going to his place alone on friday night is not proper for you to do but if you like the idea, that is another story.
2007-04-26 18:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Leonie A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if alex know you already have a man then alex is trying to get between you both its obvious ...sooooooo i would tell alex to take a step back before your boyfriend puts his fist forward ...he knows this is wrong .......and is taking advantage of your kindness because he wants you ...
2007-04-26 18:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Alex we've always been friends. I'm sorry, but I can't be more than that with you. I hope you understand."
It's direct, but kind...no hinting. If he's truely a friend then he will get over the initial hurt and stay your friend in the long run.
2007-04-26 18:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by Rob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd be furious at a guy that expected to have sex with me that I wasn't even dating. HE should be the one worried about ruining the friendship. Girls are being BRAINWASHED. Tell this guy he is downright rude if he expects anything from you.
2007-04-26 18:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from him for now. Tell him you don't want him in your life until things can be the way they used to be. Whatever you do, do not go alone to his house. If you must, bring a friend with.
2007-04-26 18:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by nicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋