Too Anxious--Waiting For God?

Question

I am a believer in God. My husband & I are separated. We haven't been married long. I've slipped & so has my husband. When I left & called my husband asking him did he want to work it out, he said do what I was going to do implying that he knew I was going to file for a divorce this time. I never said that I was going to file for a divorce. He then said that he would go to counseling, but I can't get him to answer the phone. I am now pregnant with our first child. I've left before & with him being so cold this time, still viewing porn from time to time, I just don't know where his heart is. He says that I always tear him down, but I don't. He says he thinks that he's perfect. He is very arrogant during these times. He says I just want an escape to get out of the marriage & it crushes me. I left because I can't get the proper rest I need & he's been very inconsistent. I love my husband & when he's sweet, it's unreal. How long will God take to answer me? I am hurt.

Answer 1

You both sound immature and not ready to be married and now you are bringing a kid into the drama.

Answer 2

Waiting for God is a pass on your responsability. Most likely you two don't really communicate and on top of that you don't know each other very well. Don't be insecure because your pregnant. School teachers watch porn and have threesomes so just keep that in mind. You don't even want to know what your waitor does in his spare time.

You both must be calm and perfectly honest with each other. If you fight you are solving nothing. Fighting is for the ignorant. If it can't be done using verbal communication then try writing it down until there is a mutual understanding of how both of you feel. Then figure out what you are both willing to do. Start making a plan. I'm sure you both can compromise and learn to let things go.

I had big troubles simular to what you are having but most likely worse. We are still together 3 years later and doing much better. Make a map to where you want to be and then follow it. Both of you still have room to mature and grow up no matter how old either of you are. I'm not religious and I got the Help I needed. Pray to yourself to do your part and for him to do his. Forgive and learn about each other and yourselves. Know yourself and its easier to know others.

Answer 3

I understand that you are hurt. Your husband disappoints you with his wrong actions. But, you must stop trying to change him. That is for God to do, not you. Leave him alone for awhile. A week or two. Spend this time talking to God and seeking a Christian counselor. Go alone if he won't go.

By then, when you do talk, tell him that you want to get counseling to learn how to get along and to learn what will help your marriage. You must be an example to him not a police officer.

Marriage is give and take. Real love goes like this:

1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. GOD


If he won't do counseling, go to a Christian counselor alone. But go and make sure it's a Christian counselor.

Answer 4

Ever heard of "let go and let God"? This is a very upsetting and trying time for you, but in spite of your faith you are forgetting the most important individual in your lives. With God, NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE. Think things through and make some decisions, then present them to your God and as you are faithful and really let the situation depend on the promptings of the Holy Spirit, you will be calmed and led to do what is right for you, and your precious little one who needs parents who have their heads together...even if they don't have their marriage together! Another great way to look at it is the scripture which reads, "Be STILL, and know that I am God"...stop fussing about all your problems and quietly talk with God and LISTEN to the promptings you WILL receive. You will be led and blessed! Have a blessed day!

Answer 5

I can't begin to give you a meaningful answer because I am not God.

I am very sorry that you are going through a very difficult time and I will pray that the Holy Spirit guide you in your decisions. Sometimes no matter how we try, people will not change unless they are open to it and to God. He can not reach them if they are not willing to let him. If you are a strong believer, ask God what you should do....and be open to whatever he tells you even if your heart breaks over it. He has promised that He will make all things work for good for those that believe.

Answer 6

Try this book its amazing my husband i were going through some tough times a few years back and this book helped us a lot.

His Needs, Her Needs
by Willard F. Harley Jr.

Just keep praying God does answer all prayers just not always the way we expect or in the time frame we want.
Hang in there and God Bless

Answer 7

I won't even attempt to advise you what to do about your husband because I would not want to be the cause of anyone's pain; yours OR his! Stop waiting for God and have confidence in your own abilities to be a good wife or, a good divorcee, whichever you choose. One thing though. When he says you tear him down; maybe you do and you just don't realize it. Try to talk to him and find out how he perceives things. If however, he simply wants out and doesn't want to try to work it out, you have to let him go!

Answer 8

Reminds me of March31 l978. I was crying out to Father God to change my husband. I was desperately seeking His help. I had an encounter with the Holy Ghost and He asked if I was without sin. He caringly told me to change myself first. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. My advice is to stop finding fault and look inside your heart first. Make your life right with Father God thru Jesus and the hurt will go away.

Answer 9

I've been thru something similar and just poured my heart out to God thru Jesus. I read scripture that just came very much alive in my heart and cried. I indeed felt the presence of Jesus at a time I needed Him most. I let go and let God handle my situation, trusting what the Word of God says in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I learned later that God used this situation and my trust in Him to strengthen my faith in Him. I still struggled with the situation, but Jesus was with me thru it and things happened just in the perfect timing that took care of things that I could have never done on my own. Pray for both of your walks with Christ. If you belong to the Lord, He will help you with your situation and pain in His timing and His way. But He needs your heart and your trust! Lean on Him.

Answer 10

Forget about him. You're asking for a lifetime of pain. He's using you for his own drama. I hate that. He expects to be rejected, so he creates a situation where he will be. He's probably on drugs.